Jonathan should be out riding his bike

Turned 40, was relatively normal about it.

Thank goodness the MNBA team won today too that could have been embarrassing #ballhalla

Pat McAfee reportedly “devastated” after football robot Cleatus comes out as trans

I have a crush on everyone at this CX race

MY MAYOR LEVI MY BILLBOARD AI MY SV II BORE VALKS IN FOUR

Protestors Criticized For Looting Businesses Without Forming Private Equity Firm First https://theonion.com/protestors-criticized-for-looting-businesses-without-fo-1843735351/

driving my tesla roadster, i ask grok to schedule a dentist appointment. it generates a gothic anime version of the dentist’s receptionist with huge tits that asks me if i want a cleaning. i get so hard my neuralink activates the tesla’s thrusters and i slam 90 mph into a wall killing me instantly

why do we bash "dead beat" children for not being there for their parents but we never question if the parent has bad vibes? or if they're just unpleasant to be around?

ugh i was going to make dinner tonight but i have to disavow the muslim brotherhood

A few months ago my wife was having problems receiving text messages, so she kept asking me to text her while she was attempting to fix the problem. I kept texting her different variations of "boobies" and "butt." Eventually she saw all the messages and was like what the hell???

Mechanics, welcome to the war on cars

[Pokémon Go to the polls voice] It’s time to Kara bout the midterms

Probably isn’t the first moment but one that sticks out is in middle school somehow we got asked if we thought we might ever grow up to be gay. This is Latin America in the 90s so all the dudes were like no way never and I said “I dunno, probably not but I don’t know who I will become”

Lori Laughlin and Alicia Witt star in “Grinding the Morning Bean”

Please reply with the largest number of bikes you've ever brought into the living space of your home.

Kafka’s Metamorphosis cancelled because of awoke.

A Few Good Men (1992)

Good article but everyone knows Redwood City is climate best by government test! ™️

Iowa city council debates proper time in meeting agenda to "undo the curse that was just put on our city."

Correct

Impressed no one has quoted this with the Smiling Man yet

New: We got body camera footage of the Flock search and traffic stop a judge ruled unconstitutional and "indiscriminate mass surveillance" www.404media.co/watch-footag...

Drivers, just go to therapy

“Livvy rizzed up Baby Gronk”

believe it or not this is what a datacenter looked like before ai

God forbid a man have hobbies

So thats where they keep all the blue sky elders. In the post hog bus.

If you’re going to lose, lose to a historic performance 🫡

Spoke to a class a Columbia earlier about press freedom and anticipated having to explain what Gawker was but it did not occur to me for even two minutes that I would also have to explain who Hulk Hogan was

Crazy effort from Dallas tonight they have earned it

Using our local powers against us to force game 3

Technically the old Basketball Jones “Gimme some raptor news” drop works here.

I live in California but it did snow once at the top of the hill near my house

The Autodidactistocrats!

👋 Fellow white people: does anyone else love the way “nigga” rolls off the tongue, or is it just me?