Post

"But wait! There's more!" (Seriously ... hope everything's ok!)

Oh damn I have a scar on my wrist from flicking hot Nutella off a crepe iron 😅

Oh it frickin hurt. I jumped into water nearby and had to ice it for days.

Hmmm—we 50s kids (elementary aged, not toddlers!) always had sparklers but were supervised. No one got hurt. We learned how to deal with mildly dangerous things (like sparklers), not told to avoid them completely, which was never going to happen.Why not focus on adult supervision tactics?

Skill issue

I was raised on sparklers. Builds resilience. This is why kids these days are so fragile! 😆 /s #barelysurvivedthe80s

When I was a kid in the 90s these were the only fireworks my parents allowed me to play with. I only used one at a time and held it at the very tip.

I mean, yes?

Yes.

When you look back at a part of your childhood that seemed perfectly normal and commonplace and go "...Huh."

I am retroactively vindicated for being afraid of them as a kid…take that mom!

I realize it. I do it anyway.

What if my kids are annoying or have bad vibes

*Alfred Molina voice*

I appreciate that you have to say that... and thank you for doing your job.

I ask this whenever the kids pick up a flashlight.

Everyone needs a super hero origin story.

Maybe if I was a super scientist on the verge of a breakthrough, I might, but only if he had super powers from being bit by a radioactive spider.

Yes, obviously, I would. I was born in the 1970s and have to maintain my cool aunt vibes while risking my friends' children.

oh absolutely a child's heart is pure

Yes.

yes

We have a lot of questions for the Westeros CPSC.

Actually, yes. We were... not entirely successful. But my son & I attempted to build a simple fusion reactor as a school science project... (The hard bit isn't the reactor; it's the neutron detector so you can prove fusion has occurred)

Yes. Go get em Ra Jr

Gonna go get a sparkler and start giving children the curse of Ra.

Not with that accursed Spider-Man running free!

how this heatwave's got me feeling

Welding-sticks. Dumbest possible fireworks.

(covered in partial-thickness burns)

[screams]

It's (probably*) not the sparks you gotta worry about so much, it's that chunks of larger size occasionally detach. * I'd want to do some more empirical testing and less of a thought experiment before I was too authoritative about even the sparks

And there's Bluesky!

It clings while it burns!

lol

It's important to set boogaloo boys on fire

I learned at 12 that PVC pipe is MUCH safer than steel pipe when my best friend's dad caught us trying to make a pipe bomb in the shed. He was so pissed off that he showed us how to do it safer.

What gets me is how incredibly fast they burn down

When they talk about GenX being raised on hosewater and neglect, this was the moment those two showed up at the same time. My dad handing me the sparkler with my mom manning the hose.

Be AFRAID! Very afraid. Of EVERYTHING!!!

He's okay, right?! 🫣

my kids could easily drop these before being turned into a raging fireball. skill issue

Is it possible to gift a few sparklers to trump?

In the 60s and 70s, sparklers could scar most metal. They were really dangerous. There have also been ATF restrictions of total compound burn rate and total compound energy contained now that didn't exist in the past.

The children yearn for the shiny burny sticks

Oh, is THAT's why they call him Mr Fahrenheit? You can't make a supersonic man out of me if you perish in a sparkler mishap (even during pride month).