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Ever notice how many men see a woman doing something they think is risky (like traveling alone) and immediately assume she’s naive and stupid - instead of assuming she’s intentionally taking a calculated risk? They can’t imagine a woman might do something even mildly dangerous on purpose.

Once you start looking out for this, you’ll start seeing it everywhere. (I suggest Reddit communities dedicated to travel). These dumb dudes all think they’re hardcore Operators even if they’ve never been anywhere scary than London, and *they* assume all women are too stupid to calculate risk.

Naturally, these are the exact same guys who start frothing with rage around the “women would prefer to meet a bear in the woods than a human man” concept, because they don’t understand that every woman that dates cis men IS taking a highly calculated and very serious risk.

“This woman must be traveling alone in a place I, a big strong man, believe is Too Scawy and Exotic because she’s really stupid.” Meanwhile, they just assume a man doing the exact same thing knows the dangers perfectly well and is cool and brave.

I travel a lot alone in unusual places. NO one sucks more at risk assessment than comfortable white men who *think* they’re hard men. They’re the demographic who overwhelmingly get into the most stupid, easily avoidable dangerous incidents because they’re basically flightless island birds.

I salute and entirely support the legions of sex workers who have made very good money off of the profound overconfidence of dumb privileged men who think they’re the baddest motherfucker to ever book an airplane ticket to somewhere where they Speak Foreigner.

for example, I used to live in Cambodia, and you can guess the demographic of that guy who got shot in the ass by a security guard after he got wasted one night and refused to get off the hood of a government official’s expensive black SUV

also, if you see a queer/trans person traveling alone, you probably actually *are* in the presence of a hardened operator who has genuinely useful security and travel advice

I’m not a hardened operator by any means, but I’ve still definitely tested the boundaries of safety before, knowingly.

when I was a mere teen traveling alone abroad I would always gravitate to my fellow queers and weirdos for protection and advice

Anyone who had to operate in new places from a fairly young age is always more capable of minding their own safety than the avg middle aged white dude who thinks he’s tough.

Speaking as someone who has literally cluelessed his way out of both a mugging and a separate police bribe shakedown, the only travel advice I have is bring somebody with a sense of direction so you can be aware of your surroundings without having to stare at your expensive phone for the map

I’m the person who studies the physical map of a place and ends up memorizing it because I like maps, for some bizarre reason. That, and once I travel somewhere, I can usually figure out my way around and back to where I need to be. It’s a skill I learned from my dad as a kid.

I had a conversation with some cishet guys recently in which I put them into silent contemplation for a few moments by saying "I've been to two countries where it was illegal for me to exist".

Yes!

I try to constantly remind myself that as a straight white cishet man I’m playing life on easy mode. So many people seem to think that everyone experiences things the same way they do.

Bless them, they just book flights rather than check if their sexuality is legal or 'banned' (illegal but normal people there don't care much) or banned[ish] (illegal but they don't care much if tourists do it) or banned (they very much care if tourists do it).

💯 I travelled alone quite a bit as a young woman and have done fieldwork in various countries. I was always as prepared as possible and aware of calculated risks. The colleagues I felt most at risk when travelling were young men who had never considered their personal safety.

Funnily enough, because I married a photojournalist, something we established on our first date was that each of us (my now husband and I) might have reason to choose a calculated risk to travel somewhere dangerous & we each could accept that. Came in useful when I was a CSA astronaut candidate.

I was thinking about CSA and remembered your been a candidate & wondered if you would have been in the same class as Hansen?

I didn't know the Confederate States of America even had a space program. Jokes aside, that's bad ass.