Cretin AmBOOvalent (comedy music) 🫱🏻‍🫲🏾

Clash Of The Titans Stranglers Of The Titans Sex Pistols Of The Titans

I call him Nosferausted because I don't know him that well

My startup that transplants human brains into dogs to create the ultimate canine supersoldier is committed to acting ethically

Bluesky has four types of users

thinking about stealing fire from the gods. a hot take

Bluesky has four kinds of users.

When the cole goes wrong that’s Murphyslaw

The full moon doesn't make werewolves, but it does give them the zoomies.

What dance should I do today Lord give me a sign

This is great by the way, even just for those custom links to your own posts. Moving links out of the description character count let me fit the bio that previously had to be a pinned post, leaving the pinned post slot free for specific promotions

I supervised his sister at a summer swim program but never met him in person

You could apply for a job with Search and Rescue. They’re always looking for people.

'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my treehouse door." Quoth the Piglet, "It's Eeyore!" - Edgar Allan Pooh

It’s The Great Reckoning, Charlie Brown

At posh Halloween parties they Robert for apples

*May contain violence and scenes of a sexual nature. Aye that’s why I’m watching it, now get yer kit aff and start swinging some punches, ya mad bastards!

Real green dresses now cost 2 million dollars.

The Onion is always good but this one is great

I'll be stepping away from square dance calling for a bit so I'll need you to hoedown the fort.

The box for this game is EXACTLY 12-inches long. You know what that means, don't you? The game is a foot.

Everybody knows “detente” is german for “the tent” 😌

Disavow, datavow, deutteravow

I have discovered cursed forbidden knowledge AVERT THINE EYES: Madonna’s “Crazy For You” is the same as “Leaving On A Jet Plane”

Grand prize, podcast ad awards: “If I needed this service, this is exactly the kind of company I would use”

Even creepier, last night I had tubi on my smart tv while shopping on my ipad and got a repeated commercial for a coat I’d just looked at which was just a guy silently modeling it and a qr code to buy on Amazon. (Noped out of that brand forever)

Welp just saw a bad AI slop phishing scam commercial on Tubi

I’m just saying a supervillain with the right fem-bots could easily take over the White House right now Unless IT ALREADY HAPPENED

The Alice in Wonderland cat was also a lawyer who turned up at the scene of accidents. He got a reputation as an ambulance Cheshire.

A tax purposes of the clones

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance for tax purposes

I’m a little worried about all the time travellers showing up “just to watch”

Them: Save room for dessert? Me: Vroom!

Online dowsers: I hope this email finds you a well

Yes, yes, we alllllll have some traumatic origin story. I was bullied as a kid but you don't see me trying to fight Batman about it. Sounds like a skill issue.

Middleman fans know the truth

Anthropic warns AI could 'self-replicate' by magically animating an army of dolls to complete the ritual sundering the veil between worlds with their tiny voices and free the Hordes of The Hellspawn unless billions more are spent, it's a matter of national security really

I forgot all about this

JAMES BROWN: *doing laundry* I feel OK.

Always wanted to see Norway but I can’t affjord it.

There are people here I started following in the early days and I can’t even remember why but now I’m kind of invested in their lives

This week on the pod Norman, Freddy, and Jason share their favorite life hacks

[snorts derisively] Everybody knows DRAGONS don't live in HOUSES

whether or not it’s butter, it isn’t here to be subjected to your judgment

No but if you homunculus a few bars I can fake it

Didn't know I suddenly needed something