Chabby D

pickleball is the ellen degeneres of sports

I think it’s incredibly important that you learn to love yourself, because I’m busy with my own shit and don’t have time to do it for you.

I think I’ll sell my sobriety on the internet. All proceeds will go to new drugs.

The scariest part about living with a house full of girls is the shower drain

music.apple.com/us/album/iph...

My motivation? Spite and proving people wrong mostly.

I would have paid more attention in math if I thought it would help me destroy my enemies.

We’re not making it out of this alive (reassuring)

*bleeding in a crumpled heap after falling down the stairs parkour

Sometimes I only eat bread as an excuse to eat more butter

Completely head over heels in meh

*blows you a kiss with my middle finger

I wish this mental illness came in pineapple flavor

I missed you vest season

Update: I’m a grumpy bitch

Follow your dreams, order the 64oz coffee

Please, call me Dinosaur Jr. Dinosaur Sr. was my father.

I’m super uncomfortable around wool

If I click on a link and go to your website and then get bombarded by a huge pop up that I cannot immediately x out of I'll never visit your website again. Why is this so hard for UI devs to understand?

Not vaginal, not anal, but a secret third hole (Charlie Kirk's neck)

Do not go gentle into that alt-right

I come from a long line of people who wish they weren't related to me.

I didn't make the rules, I just roll my eyes at them

Even though we haven’t been together now in some time, I still often think about drugs fondly