Marc

I was going to start a new diet for New Years but there's a bunch of old diets I haven't finish yet.

VOTE!

Rooster asked if I plan on Trick or Treating this year and challenge accepted bitch.

The moon out here dressed like she's not going home alone tonight

Always the outcast Never the incast.

*pulls away from kissing Can you tell I just went down on your dad?

Bluesky has four kinds of users

A pet grizzly was a terrible idea.

Them: MAN OVERBOARD!!! Me: *in the water No, no, just keep going.

Bringing all the skeletons out of the closet to decorate with flair

One moment you’re fine- you’re more than fine. Happy even. And the next you hear a familiar sound, a voice of someone you wish more than anything was where you instantly look for them, but it’s not them. They’re dead. You just forgot for a brief moment, and now you’re staring at a stranger and sad

Two weeks in a row of feeling normal would be a fucking dream at this point.

Sticker

You can't fall apart at 530 am! Watch me

It’s called a joint because when you light one up people suddenly want to join you.

Woke up w the Moon this morning. Gave it a kiss for you

Your gut microBio-Dome results are in, and your microPaulie Shore levels are THROUGH THE ROOF, Kevin

Disowning a child is the same thing as cutting your heir.

I should probably be more worried about feeling notifications in my pocket since my phone is still charging in the other room.

I don't like egg nog but if you have any other types of nog please let me know

I wonder if DoorDash will deliver to my bedroom. I’ll give them five stars.

The internet helps you widen your search to find people who don't want anything to do with you.

I wanted to go into ballet but they don't serve drinks at the barre.

I panicked when I had to list some personal references. All I could come up with was the cast of Sanford And Son and a couple of Santa's reindeer.

Middle aged rocking out Sly and the Family Gallstone

I love your crazy parents because they aren’t my crazy parents.

Middle aged rocking out Mumbles & Sons

In unrelated news, I’m going back to bed.

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes, the funk soul brother

Well, it’s DnD night, where I get to live out the fantasies of: - Traveling the world with my friends - playing various instrumemts - speaking multiple languages - killing evil people and redistributing their stuff - hanging out with bog witches - not needing health insurance - having a unicorn