Crow The Cryptid

God isn't real cuz if he was, I would have been born a woman

It’s incredible the things you don’t realize are sacred until you can no longer rely on them

genuinely evil behavior from vivek ramaswamy, and most of the state will still vote for him. how do you even handle a country filled with so many morally and spiritually bankrupt individuals

I had to go on Twitter to confirm this was real because Ship Awesome Games In A Weekend having a hand with six fingers was so on the nose I was about to pass out

The longer that I am single, the weirder the fetishes I develop 😵‍💫

All of history is a secret war between good autists and evil autists

this is the reason these questions are asked. it doesn't matter how well el-sayed answers, the media get to write a headline with his name and the muslim brotherhood in it. heated, islamist, implications, criticize, disavow, dual loyalty, scary man bad

Doing a little Elvira research & came across a marvelous headline

democrats will throw you under the bus and then get mad at you for not being on the bus

CONTINUED, The Boy From Venus #16 🧹

this is the ultimate end point of capitalism, ai will completely atomize everyone and there will be zero shared experiences. there will be no culture, only pure consumption. this must be resisted

truly amazing how stupid the average rightwinger is and how stupid someone like JD vance has to pretend to be to appeal to their base. there's just absolutely no way someone like JD vance doesn't know what socialism is lol

Man who won’t give his employees piss breaks claims many piss breaks on the horizon

Sanji needs to admit that he's bi to unlock his conquerors 🤔

the world when it's my turn to be an adult

Secret Ingredient - Gator Days

Dating with an elegant knight translator wingman.

hi we're a website you have used for 20 years, we have no idea if you are over 18, send us a selfie. let us connect to your camera. can we get a booty pic with panties on and one without them on? can we also get 3 different pics of your boobs any position

join the military, you get to starve on a rusting ship that repeatedly sails into and out of the range of enemy missiles in order to manipulate gambling websites where people bet on your death

She finally topped her.

Wilber Rafael Garces Perez, a DoorDash driver, was shot by an ICE agent in Austin, Texas, yesterday while making a DoorDash delivery. Last week, DoorDash posted celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month. I’m reaching out to DoorDash for comments and will report.

This is too funny not to share: WhatPiece Character (Hard) 🏴‍☠️

Samus & Kirby

Goebel farms honors charlie kirk with corn maze design

😦

Thirsty Tiger

How do I explain to small business owners that the menu on the left is one billion times more appealing than the one on the right

Lesbian sheepgirls! ‧₊˚ ☁️

pinky gets some help

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Getting all my political talking points from the comments of the pro wrestling subreddit from now on.

My stupid contribution to Petra Parker #spiderman #trans

InfoWarriors, repeat these affirmations EVERY day to prepare your mind for battle!

If you missed the solar eclipse, this is what it looked like:

It's honestly so crazy to me that we're facing a technological revolution that could displace millions of jobs in the middle of a housing affordability crisis and every day we talk about whether a trans woman is playing sports or if someone has a non-Anglo name.

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

weed was invented by the devil to make girls kiss each other

Just talked to Mitch McConnell on the phone for 17 hours about The Odyssey and whether or not Anne Hathaway was overacting (we both agreed she was poorly written but the film was otherwise exceptional). Afterwards, we both did backflips and chugged 40s.

My job on the leftist commune is going to be as the fanservice character. Everyone's going to be reading Kropotkin or whatever and I'll be busy falling down the stairs and going KYAAAAH, ending in a tasteless panty shot. Busy attracting gusts of wind. The one guy on farming duty gets a nosebleed