Uncle Geoff

All jokes aside, strength and love to all the #devs currently migrating legacy code to modern versions of #PHP The pain is worth the gain, and now’s the perfect time to run a big refactor past Accounts as ‘Unavoidable maintenance’. P.s. All due to Anthropic’s successful false flag operation!

Are those ‘researchers’ employed by OpenAi? 🦗 An independent researcher would be behind bars by now for hacking-related offences. #PHP #php2Shell #legislateAi #banAi

🎯 Strange that this also landed just days before their, wildly overstated, IPO. False flag!! I want my Wednesday back! #FOSS #PHP #php2Shell #slopNews

We’re into year 2 into Apple discovering that covering app content with random floating UI elements is a shit idea that they never should have done https://www.macrumors.com/2026/10/25/apple-wants-to-fix-safari-on-iphone-duo/

Imagine being a CEO of an US energy company and thinking that you work with close associates of the Trump family, only to find out that behind them is a sanctioned Russian company, really pulling the strings.

Here's everything that happened at Dot One, the @craftcms.com conference: vist.ly/5pskm

In the 1950's Europe implement Social Housing, Universal Healthcare and Free Education There were good jobs and NO billionaires Now Europe's 5x richer per person (counting inflation) But we 'can't' afford any of these things Oh and there's 3500 billionaires and a trillionaire

I just saw a vibe coder tell someone "Real devs don't use PHP" and that has to be the most embarrassing tourist ass thing you could possibly say lol

70 percent of the internet was vulnerable yesterday to very bad security flaws inside a coding language. Turns out, *one volunteer* is mostly responsible for maintaining that code & helping push updates. Yesterday Ondřej Surý saved the internet. So I called him up www.theatlantic.com/technology/2...

this is the fix for that PHP issue, somehow I think we haven't heard the last of this

What an absolute tool. How much of our TV tax £££ is given to clowns like this? Wtf is a cyber consultant anyway? What a tit.

Just a friendly reminder that this is still happening, and not only in Gaza, while most governments officials on the world remain complicit. Also, PHP problems today.

laughing at the number 4 when i scrolled past some posts about php

Maybe the BBC should get someone who actually knows what he is talking about then.

so the “LLMs will cause a cybersecurity apocalypse” stuff wasn’t wrong, it turns out

Hacks like this are now possible simply because one company used the number 4, instead of a number like this: 37580131062097138925319939310762786749418198256781326564100087441938962270889100044751415957030109925475762178331415 One of these numbers is very, very, very hard to guess; unlike 4. #ssl

Man this PHP vulnerability is serious

Vulnerability xkcd.com/3314/

@resurrectedmarquis.bsky.social Some distros maintainers could move faster than others, because time zones, and some had bigger update servers to deploy patches. Updates were also going out in queued batches, so some servers had to wait longer than others to update.

Is tomorrow ’renew every tls/ssl cert ever created day’? Hoping I didn’t miss it.

What a day. Y2K level panic compressed into a single day, on multiple fronts. All I’ve done today is secure servers, update clients, and update servers. All thanks to AI…

PHP, I'm a power load PHP, watch me explode

All servers updated. Sheilds up!! #php

Wow. I just had an email from @digitalocean.com, 2 mins ago, warning me about *yesterday’s* #php exploit… 🥱

This is excellent 👌

HT to both @craftcms.com and @ploi.io teams for being all over it today, you’ve been incredible. Amazing support and crucial real/time comms from all involved! Bravo! 👏 👏👏 #craftCms #ploi #php #sysadmin

Unsurprisingly, when the 70% of web servers on the planet try to update the OS at the same time the update servers run hot, and real slow! Thoughts and prayers to all the distro release teams and sysadmins out there. #oneWeb #oneLove #webdev #PHP

If your response to this vulnerability is "just don't use PHP lol" I have to assume that you know zero about web development and the web outside of a modern bespoke, FAANG, React/Angular, static site generator type of way and you should probably sit this one out 'cause you look a little dumb

Today's horrors on the internet are brought to you by the letters: P, H and P, and the number 4

All the devs laughing that they don’t use PHP may laugh less when they discover their council, healthcare provider, ISP, bank, supermarket, power company, employer, school, etc. does. You don’t have to build websites to be exposed here.

patching php is a kludge, real engineers fix problems at the source

Looks like somebody just saw turnout numbers for the first two days of early voting in Dallas County

Good number, tricky to guess: 37580131062097138925319939310762786749418198256781326564100087441938962270889100044751415957030109925475762178331415 Bad number, easy to guess: 4 Guess which one was used to sign 60 million TLS/SSL certificates?

How it feels to be a PHP dev in 2026

OK, running thread of PHP-related issues and disruption, starting ... now 👇

#php Patched. Time to grab a beer.

> Welcome to Ubuntu 26.04.1 LTS (GNU/Linux 7.0.0-38-generic x86_64) 🙌

protip to webdevs: if your site doesn't use PHP, shut it down anyways so you don't have to work today