Jayme M

Man who won’t give his employees piss breaks claims many piss breaks on the horizon

I went to Geneva a few weeks ago and spoke on a panel about the nature of time for a Geneva Watch Days event. While I was there, on a lark, I entered a competition to most precisely calibrate a Swiss watch. And today I found out that I won! 😃 www.instagram.com/reel/Dd6hUTB...

Which studio will get the movie rights?

Hey everybody. On the 25-year anniversary, we're reprinting the much revered 9/11 edition of The Onion and sending that free to every member this month. It's been 25 long years. Look back in anger.

I've said it before, but speaking as someone who at the time had a similar job and had no earthly clue what to say, this remains one of the greatest high-wire acts of satire I've ever seen. 10 out of 10, with extra points for extreme difficulty.

"I can fix him."

I saw yesterday that some right-wing outlets were running stories about me, which I’m used to. But this time I’m going to say something about it, because these were framed to imply that I was aligned with their own transphobia. ⬇️

Lemme explain what the words BELIEVE WOMEN should mean. They don't mean you have to believe women no matter what. They do mean that you have to treat women as a source the same way you'd treat a man.

And, once again, @theonion.com nails it—a brilliant feature on the MAHA leader. “While we can’t go back in time and infect those who lived their lives without tuberculosis, we can commit, together, to making sure future generations are more fortunate,” said Kennedy. theonion.com/rfk-jr-hosts...

Combos: the dog treat for man

Mini Popehat Signal in MA: a defamation defendant is seeking pro bono advice and perhaps representation. The defendant described sexual assault by another person in their community, and that person has sued them. Middlesex County.

My most recent novel is out in paperback TODAY. As you can see, there's been a dazzling redesign of the cover. Meanwhile the Kindle ebook is 99p all month. For those with no time for books, you can also buy it as a chocolate bar, a roll-on deodorant, or I can WhatsApp you the entire thing.

GREG DAVIES: seems like a kind of a shit task. Everyone just seems like they're going home normally. ALEX HORNE: well before you say that let's have a look at how Odysseus did. cut to panel of AJAX, MENELAUS, AGAMEMNON, and DIOMEDES who are all staring at ODYSSEUS with his head in his hands

I'm in this picture! Also, if you're ever considering seeing the rogues live, do it. We went to both the live taping and the extravaganza and they were loads of fun.

happy pride! ❤️🧡💛🩵💚💙💜 #pridemonth

Why has the cost of tomatoes soared more than any other food product in the past year, more than beef, coffee or eggs?

Love it: the night after he was kicked off of CBS for good, Stephen Colbert hosted a public access show in southeast Michigan.

Last month, after I shared a link to The Chris Gethard Show's dumpster episode here, I realized that the 10th anniversary of that comedy classic was coming up. So I sent some emails. And I got an interview that has never been gotten before. consequence.net/2026/05/chri...

Savage Crop

I'm sure they'll bring those meal services back when fuel prices go down.

Delta eliminating food service on flights under 350 miles, blaming fuel costs

Average gas prices in Green Bay went up 50.2 cents per gallon in the last week; that’s 58.7 cents per gallon higher than a month ago and stand $1.52/g higher than a year ago.

It's an increase of $1.47 since the start of the war in Iran on February 28.

A jury found Live Nation and Ticketmaster operated as a monopoly in its dominance of the live events and ticketing industry, validating complaints that the industry giant was stifling competition and driving up fees for fans. https://cnn.it/4epfsCD

One of the best parts of being from Boston was getting to watch so many games on NESN with Don Orsillo & Jerry Remy announcing. This is art. 🍕⚾️🍺

sorry sorry i'm trying to remove it

THE DALAI LAMA IS WEAK ON MONETARY POLICY.

You may not know @taskmaster.tv. It's hilarious & joyful. I begged to do it, worked out my schedule a year ahead of time to make it happen & got to do the best show on TV w/ the loveliest ppl. Ep 1 is out &, trust me, you need this joy. All seasons free on youtube. www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRfH...

I'm sure her next presidential primary would go exactly as well has her last one.

incredible thread

Me neither, and I don't know why everyone is asking.

I AM GOING TO BURN DOWN THE SHED UNLESS WE HAVE PIZZA ROLLS FOR DINNER TONIGHT [mom sighs, rolls her eyes, writes "pizza rolls" on the grocery list for next week] I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO BURN DOWN THE SHED

Depluralize a movie: The Good, the Bad, or the Ugly.

Well done everybody

🚨 I found a companion case to Summers vs. Tice! 🚨

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth prays for violence against :those who deserve no mercy" at Christian prayer service https://www.wbay.com/2026/03/26/hegseth-prays-violence-against-those-who-deserve-no-mercy-during-pentagon-christian-service/ 

Here is a reminder of some of what he has said - and where the US is now. n.pr/4t7PkAu

In a shocking turn of events, my enemies have read The Book of How to Defeat Me Specifically

Epitaph for the human race "At least we owned the libs."

I know you’re going to see this everywhere today but then you should see this everywhere today.

My wife says this photo is missing Benoit Blanc

According to AAA, gas prices climbed to an average of $3.68 a gallon on Saturday. That is a 23% increase since the Iran conflict began on Feb. 28.

WPS says they’re monitoring the forecast closely, staffing up with line workers and support teams, and checking trucks, tools, and specialized equipment ahead of the coming winter storm.

I keep seeing people ask about the 25th Amendment. Guys. His entire Cabinet is walking around in shoes that don’t fit because they’re scared to take them off. The 25th is never happening.

And given that we’re kind of near tornado season, I thought it would be smart to use this time to go over what is a watch and what is a warning. The first photo is a waffle watch: Conditions are ripe for a possible waffle. The second is a waffle warning: We have a verified waffle in the area.