Nicole Tersigni

these are my children. they are all beautiful to me. a good mother does not have a favorite child. my favorite child is friends to keep in art and life.

Something we don’t address enough is how many people, especially adults, do not have a working imagination.

[resurrecting satire just to put it in front of a firing squad]

demeter when her daughter goes missing

Trump Appears To Doze During Stroke

I was going to put off getting my blood drawn today but then I just went and got it done. out of nowhere. like some kind of person who does things. very weird. do not recommend.

I put stairway to heaven on all my playlists so I can skip it and say “no stairway. denied.” because I like to have fun.

I always thought Sun Tzu's "Art of War" was a little simplistic and obvious but it turns out yes, you do literally need to tell the Secretary of War "you need to feed your troops and keep them from being wiped out by preventable diseases"

I’m done saying “WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!!!!” ten thousand times a day. I’m getting a big rubber stamp that says it and I’m just going to stamp that shit on every forehead I see. twice on the big ones.

“I have the best IQ. I can almost always tell when something is an elephant or not. I took a test and they said, sir, your brain. wow. they want to study it for science.”

“do you have any glasses that scream I have never known the touch of an alive human woman” as a matter of fact

There's a war on for your mind. theonion.info

VOICEOVER: are you tired of ME: absolutely

thank you, wife

Salute to an all-time tweet

katie miller: [closing the drapes so the sun doesn’t sizzle the skin of her conservative husband who looks like he’s been summoned by the necronomicon] liberal men are so unattractive.

the roadmap to technological fascism is both terrifying and deeply insufferable our wannabe overlords are evil, and dangerous, and also total dweebs

have the bros tried being normal with women

Pope: [moral critique of illegal war] President: I am Jesus. Thr pope is gay Media: they are feuding😳

see? good things CAN happen under trump! as long as someone is distracting him by jingling a set of keys and he has no idea they’re happening

you simply do not have to take the phrase “AI revolution” seriously

Proud to be one of those authors.

I’m not proud of it but if Forrest Gump started talking to me on a bench I’d have left

trump: what are we going to feed the troops? rfk jr: [flattening a roadkill penis with a rolling pin] I have some ideas

i simply find it a little hard to believe that shortly after every website implemented ai code and fired a bunch of engineers they all started breaking constantly every single day but its not related to the ai code or the skeleton crew

me once AI ruins every website and we are finally free

401.

“a note to the media. please stop making me look like an incompetent buffoon by reporting the things I do and the words I say. I can do 3.5 unassisted pull-ups now. print that in your newspapers.”