orangebird44.bsky.social

The White Sox may have the Holy Trinity via the Pope, but the Rays have these guys 

happy October baseball

Wait. What? www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ten...

The only news outlet allowed to visit the White House

I know that it's only week 1, but man, does it feel good to see the Niners put belt to ass after the non-stop Rams glazing.

Same, son

Tim Curry is survived by his frequent co-star, a big spooky mansion

Report: Tim Curry's death to be investigated by suspicious group of eccentrics gathering at his house

RIV Dolly You are one of the few people cool enough to get your likeness on a pinball machine and actually deserve it ❤️

“This will affect Natalie forever” is particularly operatic - Harp is a senior White House aide, not a Victorian maiden whose reputation has been sullied because someone saw her ankle.

"Why should I major in History?"

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know that women’s clothing deserves pockets.

Me: "It's time to start eating healthy." Lettuce: "I'm going to give you explosive diarrhea!" Chips and cookies in my pantry: "I would never do that to you."

If Taylor Swift really wanted a private wedding venue she should’ve considered the National Mall.

Let's talk about a few interesting Canadian ❤️ city names: We'll start with the crowd-pleaser: Dildo, Newfoundland (pop: 803), which has a Hollywood parody sign celebrating their famous name. At the time of naming, the term meant any cylindrical object & probably refers to local rock formations.

I know the list is endless but I genuinely think trashing the legitimate congressionally chartered org for celebrating the 250th to instead hijack our national assets and taxpayer funds for his personality cult grifter crap should, in and of itself, be fully sufficient to merit removal from office.

You really have to admire Antifa’s artistic skill. With nothing but box cutters, they somehow managed to perfectly recreate the intricate look of poorly applied paint peeling off concrete that had concentrated peroxide dumped all over it. Incredible craftsmanship.

"How can you not be romantic about baseball?"

2017 ➡️ 2026. Apparently he stopped wearing a watch at some point.

“And then I’m gonna marry a beautiful woman and be the mayor of New York City and then the Knicks are gonna win the championship and then I’m gonna be in a big parade and we’re gonna make special Knicks colored trash cans” oooooookay little guy, let’s get you and your big imagination to bed

the world falling apart sucks real bad, but it's amazing that New York somehow slipped into an Disney Channel Original Movie alternate reality where our problems are fixed by Mayor Socialism and the Power of Friendship wins basketball championships.

2017 ➡️ 2026

The only acceptable use of Claude

Jalen Brunson: “You’re allowed to think about the worst possible scenario. But you gotta go out there and do something about it.” A good mantra for fighting fascism too.

“Castle and Harper” sounds like a toddler clothing brand that sells bamboo cotton overalls for $48

"I get that you are having an existential crisis of self, facing the realities of aging, and accepting your social and economic circumstances, but listen, there is nothing I can do; I’m just a cat stretching in a bodega."

Unfortunately the Mos Eisley Cantina Band have had to drop out of the Freedom 250 show due to too much scum and villainy.

San Antonio and New York City are finally gonna put it all on the line and determine which city makes the best salsa

Good morning to everyone stumbling through 2026

"We're using this technology called 'swimming pool liner'. Nobody's ever heard of it."

Next up, the Sickos Committee researches what NBA Arenas allow spaghetti 🍝

🤨

the French Revolution failed because they brought cameras into the tennis court

THERAPIST: and what do we do with those negative emotions when they get to be too much? ME: put them in my feelings wallet so I can buy books and cheese with them THERAPIST: what? ME: what?

Help

Reckon George Lucas is sitting pretty at Skywalker Ranch thinking about all the people who said that a blockade of a major trade route was a stupid thing to base a movie around?

Say "weak on crime" again. I dare you.

Imagine being in space 30 min ago and now you’re about an hour from In n Out