POWERFUL CRAB FART🦀

The year is 2025. There are three social networks remaining. They are run by Dweeb Lowtax, Tweaker Lowtax, and Girlboss Lowtax. You have to pick at least one.

can someone make a pic that's those african guys carrying the coffin but instead of a coffin it's a hospital bed

🚨 BREAKING: Travis County judge granted Gina Hinojosa's request to inspect Greg Abbott's unredacted Musk emails. Judge Mauzy set Thursday 10 AM as the DEADLINE for Abbott to let her see them. Abbott tried to keep them hidden, calling them "intimate and embarrassing."

Belt slipped off the neighbors' dryer so I helped them put it back on. When I walked in I found a space heater blowing on a stack of folded wet laundry maybe two inches away. I think these boys are going to die in the fire

Behold, my son the disco ball 🎃

ay gurl, wanna smell my lumpen prole hole

when burger king gets the new soil burger

hey MS/Bing!, quick question: why the fuck are you bots spamming the search page on my sites with shit like this? q=what%20questions%20should%20an%20HR%20Director%20ask%20to%20the%20Tribal%20Council%20during%20an%20interview

hey MS/Bing!, quick question: why the fuck are you bots spamming the search page on my sites with shit like this? q=what%20questions%20should%20an%20HR%20Director%20ask%20to%20the%20Tribal%20Council%20during%20an%20interview

my hat has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my hat

thinking fondly again of the college girl at the donut place, who made a little muslim boy bounce giddily out the door after she told him his donut was free, and who waved me away and said "you're good" when it was my turn to pay and then, when asked if there was a deal that day said "i hate my job"

"BRAVO" https://bonequest.com/10082

right ok sure that's fine

there’s a certain genre of image

We tried "everyone is entitled to an opinion" for three straight decades and all we have to show for it is four thousand cases of measles and a death cult running the government. It's time for people who don't know what they're talking about to shut the fuck up.

Hey guys, Mr. ILoveOnlyMyWife here. Some of you have noticed that I haven’t been uploading as much wife-related content lately, and I think it’s time I addressed it: essentially what happened is that Mrs. ILoveOnlyMyWife and I have made the mutual decision to take some time apart

and he reposted it 😭😭

Saw an old guy with the craziest drip today

Shirt idea

a bonus completely random crossover but relevant at this exact moment only: one former plant operator recounted finding a complete DVD set of the first season of Glee on our bar racks, go figure

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him

sometimes kettle chips.

We ARE your pig poopy balls station, leading the nation! Always posting poopy pig balls with ya and never at ya!

On IG just now, @bradlander.bsky.social says he's been detained by the Israeli military. Israeli security forces have taken a NY congressional candidate on the eve of a US election.

They're calling me Mx Perfect Algorithm

If I ever end up getting divorced, I am going to show the judge that her favorite apples are mcintosh and win full custody

This is Pele, my new rendering library for diagrams and charts, compatible with the latest Mermaid syntax. - 100-500× faster than mermaid.js - 6× smaller bundle - No dependencies - Easy to theme - Responsive to device width - Open source (MIT) Try it at pele.run

No Natalie, that’s a fitted bedsheet

How I show up to the function after half a white claw

Classic nonagenarian bumper sticker

I forgot I did an entire deck of playing cards of these. I found it on the shelf. Was wondering what it was.

camelot could have lasted hundreds of years if they had put tech tree points into polyamory and situationships