Op(umpk)en Doorley

Vote early! Avoid the crowds/ death squads docs.google.com/spreadsheets...

Musk's response to this argument was that Robert Reich should go to prison

This frivolous lawsuit is exactly the kind of corruption Alaskans are sick and tired of.

Not all that jazzies is Jeff

me: pendants annoy me him: why? me: they think they know everything him: I think you mean “pedants” me: *under breath* fucking pendant

"Once men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them." Frank Herbert, 1965

Beyond disgusted by even more rape allegations against the President of the United States. "In total, more than 25 different women...have independently accused Donald Trump of rape, sexual assault, or other sexual misconduct." Report w/ new details: democrats-judiciary.house.gov/sites/evo-su...

Frankly this explanation gives them more credit than they deserve

Animals like socialists because they can tell when people don't want to hurt things.

Interesting fact about this is no he absolutely did not win MN, but lost the state 3 times, against 3 different democrats, decisively each time. Biden beat him by over 7%

too little, too late is a great time-saver

"The bible and the church have been the greatest stumbling block in the way of women's emancipation." -- Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who died #OTD 1902

The PURL program works like this: Ukraine makes a list of needed military stuff (it's where ~all the ground defense missiles come from) and then NATO governments contribute money to BUY THEM from the US. That has happened, but the US won't authorize the transfer of the missiles! Wild

Captain these patchouli levels are dangerous

The elites dropping unprecedented sums on an election is starting to look an enough rope situation. I can see 3 ways this works out for republicans: 1.They're actually brilliant and they're losing on purpose as part of a strategy to move on from the senile guy everyone hates 2.They cheat 3.Both

Wow he super goofed up dint he

"You don't turn the Titanic around overnight" has been really bugging me because a) yes you can and b) you definitely should, that was the main problem

People call this guy smart

I don't know that there is a definitive line to cross that makes you say, "I live in a police state now" but when masked gunmen can routinely brutalize the public, citizen or immigrant alike, with impunity, you have reached that point.

The kids’ changing tastes are reordering every facet of society. The gumball machine in the strange & barren entryway of the grocery store was dispensing pearl onions.

The wealthiest 3% are making a procedural case to try to keep a progressive tax from being voted on

In Dune the reason the Harkonnens are supposed to be so terrible is because the planet they're from is exactly like Greenland

Remember that for the Halloween season if you drop your phone in the toilet you should dry it out in a bowl of candy corn

Occasionally when someone ghosts you it's because they unexpectedly die

People always say the same thing when I tell stories irl: why did you tell me that

it's called the grapevine maybe you've heard through it

The French revolution happened because life became impossible. The elites are preparing to defend themselves at the moment our lives are impossible. They're putting all their resources into not needing other humans anymore, and then they'll just need a few robot guard dogs around their compounds

Not to worry Stephen, if they get their hands on you, the Hague isn't going to imprison you

Real americans would love for Saddam Hussein to open a Cheesecake Factory where the white house used to be

God damn King of Kong is a good movie

My sleep score last night was 87. Sleep scores are clearly bullshit

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

As someone who’s always been artistically gifted, I always make a point to carve at least one pumpkin per year to really humble myself and put my limitations into context

Yeah somebody should look into that

Over the course of the last 20 years, Barack Obama has gone from seeming 20 years younger than me to seeming 20 years older than me, which is going to be really embarrassing when he lives 20 years longer than me

Taxing unrealized gains is called a property tax and everyone that owns or rents land to live on pays it every year

Yep

The Government™ has made an ad about all these protests happening around the world, and it’s surprisingly honest and informative.

Now that's a shitpost of a different color

So tired of watching things get worse. Let's elect democrats so we can stop watching

We say "the human heart" when we want to discuss it as a collective abstract but if we do not individually and concretely talk about collective abstract health it'll DIE

You can't spell barbarian without Barbara

Seen this story all day today. Every headline says "27 year old Minnesota man..." I have yet to see one with the headline that the man was Somalian. The most maligned and denigrated group in Minnesota www.goodmorningamerica.com/news/story/2...

it shouldn't have taken this long but still, i'm glad they finally located and compromised, to a permanent end, the kraut bastard adolf hitler

The difference between camp and kitsch is that camp knows it's camp but kitsch doesn't know it's kitsch

President Bervert Beaver was commemorated with Beaver Dam