Senior Janitor

Genius.

“Hey, I have a joke- knock knock” Thank you so much for not ringing the doorbell, it makes my dogs go crazy. What’s your joke?

Do you think boomers ever get cringe thinking back to all the FW:FW: Fwd:Fwd:FW: chain emails they sent in the 90s?

when you want to look like the exact opposite of brendan carr

based on a true story in my old neighborhood. poorly drawn by yours truly #comic #comics #webcomic #webcomics

Whether it's Republicans wanting to cut poor children off from SNAP benefits or Democrats wanting to cut Donald Trump's children off from defense contracts, both parties want to cut children off from taxpayer money.

a lot of people don't know there's a b in dumby

Check out this sword stuck in a stone!!

“It takes a village to raise a child” Well maybe include that with the kid next time!?

The Justice Department is trying to undermine hard-won protections that guard disabled people’s right to live in community instead of institutions. This doesn’t change the law or our rights. We won't stop fighting for disabled people’s right to participate in community and civic life.

Knicks 🤝 USMNT Clutch scoring by OG

In fairness, most of the other 45 are dead.

Hell of a Freudian slip. I *assume* he was thinking of the Baader-Meinhof Gang, a far-left terrorist group. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a legendary and rightly celebrated anti-Nazi theologian & dissident.

oh, so a ceasefire is like when i say i’m going to stop eating cheese

This cannot be real Tell me this isn't real.

“Pope warns of robot apocalypse. Markets rally upon rumors the host of Celebrity Apprentice will surrender to Iran. British government vows to prioritize toilet security…” Shut up. Please just shut the fuck up. I hate the news.

2000 Flushes-ass pool

I can't tell if this is satire or not.

In case you're wondering, it's not. Do better ffs.

The New York Times writes about transgender people a lot, and yet it rarely talks to them. www.advocate.com/news/new-yor...

The cars spell out Release the Files in morse code.

The ol' win-win

Follow me on Tinder and X! My name is Samantha, 22 on Tinder and Samantha Gray on X. I'm a real woman on those platforms, I swear.

they are censoring me on here

The White House has just released a new photograph of JD Vance taken during his negotiations with Iran last week.

Me during fantasy football

They’re literally holding a Strait

Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/

Why I don't trust anyone a little too obsessed about falling fertility rates

$50,000 adjusted for inflation is ~$26,000 in 2000. The average income during that period was between $32,000-$35,000, depending on BLS or Social Security data. So the lucky ones making $50K are 30% poorer than the average worker in 2000.

Let’s…uh…maybe cool it on the Taco stuff. Not sure that double-dog daring Trump into war crimes is good

Like living inside a Daily Show moment of zen

That would have been Year 22 of the 47-year US-Iran War. bsky.app/profile/acyn...

“I never thought Elon would muffle *my* legitimate news sources” says guy who uses the “Elon muffles legitimate news sources” app.

Dawn Staley on UCLA today: UCLA is quality team with very experienced players … From last year to this year, they played determined last year, but they played determined this year … and they took advantage of it.

why does the NYT feel its their job to amplify movements americans don't know anything about?

When you chase down a viewpoint of a minority of folks and present it as a massive, important movement, and also dismiss the largest rally in America with "meh, is it really enough?" I suspect your bias is showing.

Me (3 blocks from my house): May I? (hold up the two bags of dog poop I'm holding, pointing to a dumpster on the curb) Homeowner getting in their car: No thanks. Me: Right on. (loses last bit of faith in humanity)

LeBron: “I am 41 years old. I am sick of everyone’s bullshit. I am allowed to not like things and I don’t care who knows it.” Bluesky’s mission statement 🫡

“I’m not media literate therefore nobody is”