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they don't make them fat enough.

He looked HUGE at the press conference. My first thought was, "oh, that's why he wears such a long tie." Bowties do nothing for his figure. Also, it looked like Patel was wearing the bowtie trump should have been wearing and trump was wearing the bowtie patel should have been wearing.

This kind of vest?

Have him wear a full face mask too.

Of course not!

Well, he'll just grow back, just like his ear.

LMAO

It might be too late for America to wake up. But it’s comforting to know that some of us are not falling for Trump’s THIRD fake assassination attempt.

🤣🤣🤣

They won't find one large enough.

Oh, like Harris already does?

He could just stay home.

He could wear a fake bullet proof vest, for all the fake assassination attempts

First let’s see if it was an assassination attempt. Still waiting on formal reports re PA and FL events.

JF can we not

He doesn’t need a bulletproof vest. No bullet could ever penetrate that much blubber. What we the people need is a bullshit proof president.

Thinking dunce 🎩

What about a thick metal bucket over his face and head?

more like a bullet proof tent.

Between his sycophants and the self-obsessed journalists, this is going to be a long painful week for those of us not into cringe.

“Melanie, does this vest make me look fat (fatter)?”

An explosive drone to the dome will do the trick, if the plan is not to fake it.

Sure, maybe even put up an iron curtain at Mar-a-lago for makeshift partitions ?

He can barely stand up under his own weight. Add a bullet proof vest and he will topple like a weeble. After further consideration…yes make him do that.

Tubby isn't gonna do that.

Including golfing.

HAHA

I think he should just resign and STFU as a good start.

Can Doocy get any lower into the gutter of lies?? Guess he will try.

Why? Is he planning on actually shooting himself? Fake garbage

I don’t think there’s one big enough for him, but I don’t know what the big deal is. Most of his assassinations are fake.

Ain’t happenin. He will never be anything but what he is.

the poor bastard is psychologically incapable of altering his pattern of malignant narcissism. It’s a tool they all use too! Pretending to be ‘better’ and pretending YOU helped that happen.. UGH.. it’s so destructive.

Nah he’ll be fine

There are no bulletproof vests large enough to fit his fat ass.

Why? That won’t protect his ear.

I’ts all BS! He was avoiding the issues with the new ballroom! He’s a con artist, constantly trying to get away with his grifting! And he’s thin skinned, has dementia, cannot sit there long enough to withstand the barrage of insults/jokes coming his way!

All I’m saying is…….he fell down 😂

Here we go we all know is fake and Fox is flaming the flames 🔥

Agreed

Alternatively, he could stop acting in a way that makes everyone want to kill him.

He already wears diapers I'm sure he won't notice the extra bulk

Trump will just borrow Elon’s kid…. Musk isn’t using him anymore anyway

As well as bulletin-proof Depends.

Forget the bulletproof vest. If he wears a muzzle, fewer people would harbor animosity toward him.

Is the bulletproof vest going to clash with his tin hat?

And diapers

It will have to be custom made to fit with his diaper.

please pleaser please i love that look for him

How about he just not appear in public and we don’t hear from him for the remainder of his term?

Make it a straight jacket and I’m in

Put him in a concrete box.

Do we know who the supposed shooter was after?

His inches of fat should be ample protection

A straightjacket too please😒

As long as there's a 🎯 at the front and back .

I doubt Trump would wear a bullet proof vest as it will make him look even fatter than he is.

His Big Mac consumption isn’t enough?

Lower, please. And to the right...

Oh brother…

I don't want an FBI visit by pointing out other body parts.

🤣 Real bullet proof vests - not the fantasy ones the armorer in John Wick provides - are HEAVY. Put Derp Furor in one of those and he isn't walking anywhere

Hope not.

His stamina can’t support carrying any add’l weight - he’d wilt and stagger even more conspicuously in public.

What a fucking joke

A diaper AND a bulletproof vest??? YES PLEASE!!!!🇺🇸

Quite an excuse to get him into a corset.

In other words he’s going to have a colostomy and nobody will notice! 🤬🤬🤬

Doocy, you're kidding, right?

Wouldn’t that hinder is golf swing. Oh wait, it might improve it.

Do bullet-proof vests come in size Extra-Tubby?

Won’t work. There is still a head shot

Drama queen.

You mean he hasn't been wearing one?

Way cheaper. I'd donate to the "Vest Instead of a Ballroom" fund.

First president to wear a bulletproof corset.

He wouldn’t even wear a mask, no way he’d do this.

“Yes. That bulletproof vest does make you look fatter sir”.

Trump’s been wearing a bulletproof vest for years now …

He’s too vain. Never happens. He’s already extra glazed on most occasions. It would make him look even fatter. Plus he already thinks he invincible or Jesus or a doctor or whatever.

Will it be taped to his ear? 🤔

Trump is a coward

He should wear a helmet…

He’s too fat

"He's not fat, it'S the bulletproof vest!"

All of them supersoft versions... to go with his diaper

Would that be a bulletproof muumuu?

Or a ball gag.

Hey, that’s what I was thinking, too! 🥂

Yes…two holes so he can see and no other holes at all.

Okay, so he can see it, but please make sure it's airtight!

He already has a white one in his closet!

Lol

They don’t make ‘em that size.

Trump won’t because it’ll make him look fatter and weaker.

Head shot then what is a vest going to for that ugly orange shit head

Bulletproof Smellproof Leakproof Diaper too or they’ll aim for his fat ass

This is completely ridiculous. Where would you find a bulletproof vest in a size 50 triple tent?🤷‍♂️

I’d think his five layers of fat would stop a small caliber bullet before it hit anything important

Do they make bulletproof diapers.

Is there enough Kevlar for that? Like in the entire world?

🤨🙄

lol like his ego would allow for something that appeared to add weight.

But that may prevent him from being killed!

To match his diaper too?

Gee, why would ha need one? Maybe they should all be asking themselves that first.

🙄

Better still, fix the gun problem that has taken so many lives, many children.

There needs to be more discussion about his sex crimes against children!

Man that will be tough. A diaper and a vest.

What’s he going to wear on his big ugly head? 😂😂😂😂

I have no problem with this. The extra weight and heat might expedite what we are all hoping will happen sooner rather than later.

Oh so the Port 100% HAS TO go in and it's going to be bulky.

He can have thoughts and prayers, plus a bullet-proof backpack, like all the other school children

Won’t a bulletproof vest get in the way of his man-girdle?

If he’s that afraid, he should resign

Just get him a bullet proof backpack like all the school kids are wearing now.