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NO

That. Sounds. AWESOME. Let's hang out

Darwin award winners all...

These are the same people who go into the ocean when the guards are off duty. The same people who drive through flooded streets. The same people who think the gates at the train crossing are for others.

Reminds me of leopards eating someone else's face.

Here's our official fireworks press release with data, more safety tips, and no references to 'The Rock' (1996): cpsc.gov/Newsroom/New...

But The Rock is where I learned that holding pyrotechnics is fun and cool! 🙃

This is a tremendous disrespect to 'The Rock' (1996) as Stanley Goodspeed was holding VX nerve gas. What kind of safety officers are you?

Either Nic Cage looks Sean Connery in the eye or Stanley Goodspeed looks John Mason in the eye. You can’t mix and match

Yeah you don’t want to end up like the Rocket Man.

Can't wait to walk in to the children's hospital at 6am on July 5 and hear the tales from the ER. /sarcasm but only about my feelings

Do you have any safety advice for the situation wherein, having lit the 25 pack of bottle rockets and briskly walked away, a very excited but not very bright dog unexpectedly grabs the 25 pack and circles its humans at warp speed while shooting us with bottle rockets from her mouth?

And don't light them in places where it's illegal! During this heatwave DOUBLE CHECK before you light 'em up, because seasonal bans on fire hazards are a thing.

why'd you have to make my hands sound so delicious though 😭

Since SCOTUS now days manufacturers no longer have to print safety warnings on their labels, I’m not sure it’s enough to say follow the manufacturer’s instructions

Better yet, leave the fireworks to the professionals!

Or better yet, don’t light the firework at all, and don’t burn your state down.

"Fireworks?" It sure do, bud. Works to explode your hand.

My hands are different, bitch

my cousin blew his hand up with fireworks last summer :(

This is not a post about fireworks.

🙌💥

Surely, this fluffy cow wants to be petted.

Stop raining on my Darwin parade, CPSC

geez, next y'all are gonna tell me not to keep my fireworks next to the firepit 🙄

That's why I light them on a shovel I'm holding and then catapult them out into the yard

Have you heard of 10 Finger Johnny?

Yeah yeah I know, gimme a sec, it won't be lit anymore in a momen-

COWARD

Even the bigliest firework this country has ever seen?

Did no one watch "The Pitt" last season? I would say, no one needs to even buy their own fireworks. Leave it to the city or town to buy them.

You cant have bottle rocket wars in 2026 because of woke. (Dont have bottle rocket wars its dangerous)

not hold them from which end?

I knew someone that blew their hand clean off

Did not have "becoming a fangirl of any government agencies under the current administration" on my bingo card, but here we are. Always good for an informative laugh, keep it up y'all.

Remember, grip them tightly to avoid dispersal. Putting them in your mouth (or any moist orifice) is even safer because of the wetness.

This year, don't.

Damn, there goes my evening plans. Big government strikes again.

I wish I could thumbs down this

you've got some big ideas emily

A friend was holding her baby on the back deck of her house while her spouse lit bottle rockets in the front yard w their older kids. Firework went off in the wrong direction, over the roof and down the shirt of the baby in my friend’s arms and exploded.

Oh yes. We sneaked away and all sort of stupid things out of sight of the parents. "Let me tell you how I got these scars..."

Message received

Does this mean that it’s okay to deep fry a frozen turkey now?

Giving into the admin’s demands to “make sure you mention it’s CHINESE” on all their recall notices.

NO