Andrea

The fact that the president's doctors are giving him the dementia test over and over again -- tracking his decline, most likely -- and that the president keeps bragging about having to take that test should be a five-alarm fire.

It has been brought to our attention that it is entirely possible Doug Ford does not understand that a podcast called "The War on Cars" might be in favor of things like protected bike lanes.

It turns out that the best way to avoid being killed by drivers is to be protected by infrastructure.

North Dakota Apologizes For Contributing Nothing To Nation’s Greatness https://theonion.com/north-dakota-apologizes-for-contributing-nothing-to-nations-greatness/

I also have to say collapse was bound to happen when people started allowing JERRY REINSDORF to take multiple victory laps for this accidental goofball team that went 84-78 on idiot good vibes. Don’t get me wrong I like idiot baseball good vibes but Jerry is the ultimate bad vibes guy.

If you're old enough to compare this play to the Jeffrey Maier play, you should schedule a colonoscopy

“No Way To Prevent This,” Says Only Ballpark Where This Regularly Happens

it's time for playoff basebal

So I wrote about MLB’s decision to try playing baseball in a national park. (I think there’s more at work here than just playing baseball in a scenic location.)

What’s Rustling In That Leaf Pile?

context. sentiment. inferences. People seriously cannot do these things anymore. That’s why they angrily demand you spell out every joke, every reference, super duper promise you mean something only this one prescribed way. They cannot do it for themselves or tolerate the any ambiguity.

No New Yorker should lose their life just trying to get around our city. We refuse to accept preventable tragedy as an inevitable part of living in New York.  That's why we’ve announced more than 100 policies to make our streets safer over the next 10 years.

Every public event that only gives driving directions is a policy failing, a moral failing, and a failure of imagination.

MLB Attempts To Increase Fan Engagement By Providing Ball With Emotional Backstory https://theonion.com/mlb-attempts-to-increase-fan-engagement-by-providing-ball-with-emotional-backstory/

if you were thinking about getting an ebike to reduce your number of car trips to save on gas, the best time was earlier this year but the second best time is now!!!!

Gloria Steinem, Researcher Who Discovered Existence Of Women, Dead At 92

Arte Moreno bought the Angels in 2003 (the year after they won the Series) for $184 million. He then spent 23 years running them into the ground, let the stadium decay, wasted Trout and Ohtani, and sold for $4 billion. And the owners are crying poverty and threatening to kill baseball next year.

Disgusting Man Demolishing Peach On Bus

macabre = “muh-KAHB” Worcestershire = “WOOSS-ter-sheer” omnipotent = “ahm-NI-puh-tunt” reticent = “RET-uh-sunt” epitome = “ih-PIT-uh-mee” myriad = "MEER-ee-ud" Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading.

The funniest thing about people spending their precious last moments on earth fighting to save a surface parking lot is that directly across the street is a five-story parking tower.

This is why Dolly Parton will be remembered and loved ❤️📚

This is the letter kids got at the end of Dolly’s Imagination Library. I defy you to read this and not cry.

Reminder: There's a sandlot team called the Nashville Dollys, and you better believe they have merch. A note on their website says 20% of all sales will be donated to the Imagination Library. nashvilledollys.com

It’s another bad Colorado fire year, which means Republican climate deniers are again telling people that better “forest management” is the solution to the West’s wildfire crisis. Here’s just scratching the surface of why that's a fantasy: coloradonewsline.com/2026/08/19/w...

There's a non-zero chance Dodgers' Mark Walter is voting to approve the players' demands to avoid a strike because he can't afford to lose a single dollar of revenue, and suddenly Rob Manfred doesn't love the Dodgers so much

"You were riding in the morning, or at night, or on a quiet road, or a main road. The only time and place to ride a bike is a time beyond time and a place beyond place, where the space-time continuum is bent so strangely that you are both everywhere and nowhere." buff.ly/bSa1Wm5

"Today, everyone sees the name Taylor Farms and suddenly becomes the Hercule Poirot of the commode. You had our guacamole at noon. You experienced what you describe as a bowel emergency of unprecedented violence at 12:07. Case closed, you say."

Max Muncy Asks Shohei Ohtani If They Have Max Muncy In Japan https://theonion.com/max-muncy-asks-shohei-ohtani-if-they-have-max-muncy-in-japan/

This is billionaire propaganda and why so many fans think most teams can’t afford players

No one born after the year 1999 should be allowed in any pro league until at least 2035

finally, the Democratic party has a plan.

The fact that we call anything involving an impaired or distracted driver an "accident" is bullshit. An accident is me putting my car in neutral instead of drive, not making an intentional decision to do something dumb.

In February, USA Rugby banned trans women from all levels of one of the world’s most inclusive sports. What happened next was telling. Across the country, teams refused to comply. The story of the Baltimore Ferals, who are pushing back: www.thebanner.com/sports/rugby...

Note that nowhere in our statement do we encourage complacency or sitting still. They will act. But you should understand they don’t have the power they want you to think. When they do act, you will be equipped to respond.

They are going to try what they try. But they are not smart people, nor are they coordinated, and a real plan would be five years in the making. Remember what you're dealing with.

I want to get ahead of this speech tomorrow. You are going to hear a lot of cries of the sky falling. Remember: the President of the United States does not control elections. States and localities do, and even if you say "he has the military," there aren't enough in the 48 states to make a dent.

Me: "It's time to start eating healthy." Lettuce: "I'm going to give you explosive diarrhea!" Chips and cookies in my pantry: "I would never do that to you."

Back-to-back World Cup games held at 40 and 50-year-old stadiums, one of which was privately built. Remember that the next time a politician tells you they need a new taxpayer-funded stadium to attract world-class mega-events. It's bullshit.

“I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders.”

Rebecca: "Chaps, Alexi left us" Zlatan: "Who? Rebecca: "Alexi will be back, Alexi will be back with us very soon" Thierry: "Your plan worked, Rebecca" Rebecca: "Don't you bring me into this, no chance" Zlatan: "America, you're welcome" lmaooooooooooooooooo

This is Bagel. He has traveled far and wide, experienced many different cultures, seen all kinds of sights, and most importantly, figured out his best angles. 13/10 (IG: livingwithbagel)

One man is a trillionaire while millions of people struggle for food and most struggle for a middle class existence. This is not necessary, this is not some natural order of things. This is the result of decisions we’ve made, of policies that have been enacted, of the way Americans have voted