Christoff

Told my husband that the vibe on Bluesky tonight can best be described as “Ewok party.”

After Careful Thought, Teen Applies To College Where Family Donated Building https://theonion.com/after-careful-thought-teen-applies-to-college-where-fa-1819577078/

me: mom, what was I like as a little girl? my mom (completely fucking braindead): hey alexa describe a human kid or something

They will say “vote biblically!” but when you vote for welcoming the immigrant, helping the poor, feeding the hungry, bringing healthcare to the sick, forgiving debts, caring for our planet, laying down our swords, and loving all our neighbors, they will call you a Marxist.

well that's the last thing we fucking need

This fits in with my favourite new theory that nobody is in fact watching anything, except perhaps Celebrity Traitors.

🤨 From Viz 😂

Reclusive Deity Hasn’t Written A New Book In 2,000 Years https://theonion.com/reclusive-deity-hasn-t-written-a-new-book-in-2-000-year-1819576927/

Show a pic on your phone that has your energy but isn’t a selfie

(Werner Herzog voice) when we go back and watch the episode, we are shocked that Mr bean only has the turkey stuck on his head for 2 minutes. We remember it as an eternity, because we know that the darkness Mr bean experiences inside that turkey is in some sense cosmic, infinite

The whole world is having to deal with the terrifying and expensive chaos caused by this country's temper tantrum, and then we have to hear them mytholigise themselves on top of it all. Just can't be fucking dealing with it.

Obviously I want the utmost damage to Trump in the midterms, for Congress to constrain him & for a Democrat president in a couple years time. But honestly something broke in my relationship w America when Trump won the second time. I can't imagine feeling excited for an American president again.

For my fellow denizens of Maine. "Musk" is playing at the Maine film Center in Waterville.

This Ethan Klein discourse - an apparent 'wife guy' (love that term) with a podcast with purportedly billions of views in hot water for 'wife-guying' someone who's not his wife - begs the question, is anyone really watching anything?

Rovers academy team distracted by steam train during a game this week…👀

Protect girls sports: At least one trans kid per team or automatic disqualification. Let's move that overton window baby.

I listen to the Daily Blast podcast and every day the host Greg Sargent is furious about the 2024 pundit consensus that Trump's win marked a long-term sea change in US politics and he's not wrong to not let it go. Such a destructive mistake, leading to all manner of capitulations and reversals

Here's a photo of a helicopter landed on Joanne's 227 foot support yacht that follows around her 290 foot main yacht

As we approach the midterms, remember that the Alt National Park Service is a merch sales operation claiming without evidence to be a group of federal employees, and is not a genuine source of news about elections of any kind. Please get your election info from a local, reputable source.

BREAKING: Sources at Amazon MGM have told Deadline that the next James Bond will be “whoever shows up to the audition first” because “who gives a shit.”

Nathan Fielder Quietly Deletes Footage Of Theranos Machine Working Perfectly

More of this please

My reaction to absolutely anything right now

Depending on the yarn and fibers, a hand-knit sweater can be uniquely beautiful in a way that's not easily replicated by machine-made counterparts. Hand-knitting can result in a slightly uneven texture, which adds visual interest to an outfit. Machine-made knits can be quite flat in comparison.

Fair

Trump Slams The Beauty Of A Lotus Flower In Scathing Truth Social Haiku https://theonion.com/trump-slams-the-beauty-of-a-lotus-flower-in-scathing-truth-social-haiku/

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

The difference with Britain having a civil war is that it'd be mostly led by over-60s men who need to regularly pop to the loo.

fuck i just realized my wife has never disavowed the muslim brotherhood

Doing our bit

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Producer: “Who can we get to represent the views of voters in struggling working class towns?” Researcher: “How about a London born privately educated banjo player who is the son of the billionaire who owns GB News?” Producer: “Perfect!”

i’m just so fucking sorry that my muslim friends have to be hit with this despicable racism every single day. it’s not ok and you should not have to tolerate it. this country belongs to all of us.

elon will look untouchable right up until he doesn't anymore and western governments should accelerate that day as quickly as possible

*Elon Musk slips on a banana peel* “Witness, the world’s first flying man!” he groans.

Scaramucci lasted 2 Zacharias.

🧵🧵🧵 The NY Times posted a 15-minute video today in which I got to tell NYT what’s wrong with its coverage. They said they saw my critical posts on Bluesky and invited me to do a video with them to air my grievances. Weird, right? I didn’t hold back. I blasted their sanewashing of MAGA extremism.