Pete Lewis

you know you were thinking it

not sure if this is a scam or not but either way we’re having fun

Crazy how shes appropriated the aesthetics of drag but is serving absolutely zero cunt

[To the tune of Mr Sandman] Bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom

Until our intern Gavin completes the blood tests, please assume all enclosures contain The Thing. Thank you for your patience.

Econ 101

Have fun in flavor town, Guy Fieri, good luck getting anything stronger than bay leaves past the board of selectmen. I live in Flavor City, there’s sriracha in the fire hydrants and the mayor is a jar of paprika

you arent a burden. you are a human being with wants and needs. having desires does not make you selfish. unless you are sonic, in which case you are not human and everything you do sickens me.

#aew #pac #ripPAC

Hangman Adam Page remembers PAC. #AEWDynamite

Fucking lol @ohrobin.bsky.social @jon-snow-420.bsky.social

my little pac story was at a dguk meet and greet. i wanted to tell masato yoshino that he was my favourite wrestler and pac offered to translate. he turns to yoshino and in broken english shouts “YOU. HIM. FAVOURITE WRESTLER” and yoshino is very appreciative and shakes my hand.

everything diminishes. ottoman was once an empire, now it's a footstool

ivar is a business like man. he turns up and yells BOWW so we open the door, accepts a pat from each of us, eats his catnip and leaves. i assume his schedule is tight today

(don't say Rigor Tortoise don't say Rigor Tortoise) wow looking very alive sir

A solemn Kirkiversary to all who observe

REACHER: I need help with my iPhone SUPPORT: regular iPhone or duo? REACHER: how can I tell SUPPORT: if it folds it’s the duo *extremely loud crunching noise* REACHER: it’s the duo

Erika Kirk at TPUSA headquarters ten minutes after her husband got shot:

[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is “gullible” KID: definition JUDGE: easily deceived KID: sentence JUDGE: people with low IQs are often gullible KID: spelling JUDGE: G-U-L-L-I-B-hey wait a minute

Who called them politicians instead of power tools?

If Dolly was our constant reminder that it was Good to be Good, Tim Curry was our reminder that it was Good to be Weird. Embrace your strangeness, sing with Muppets, wear your lingerie with a leather jacket, and fuck with uptight people who hate anything that makes them remotely uncomfortable.

KRANGAROO

[Disclosure: game provided by publisher] Hey folks, I've added Corsair Cove to my curator page. It's a pirate themed survival city builder that has a lot interesting and unique mechanics, this is a genre that's like catnip for me, I can't help but get absorbed and Corsair Cove is no different.

wife: what's wrong? me: I just got diagnosed with dyslexia wife: wtf me: no actually this is bad

current discourse feels like

Protip: if left hanging when going in for a high five, follow through with a punch to the face as if that was your intention all along.

A man walks into a horse bar. Why the short face, asks the horse bartender. The man begins crying. He is the last human left on horse world.

wait are my tax dollars paying for mitch’s time in purgatory

You can kill a French vampire with a baguette. It's a painstaking process but it works.

You've been murdered. Who do you want on the case?

What did I tell them?

Honestly some people are so selfish the way they park.

[slow, melancholic rowing]

OK, I’m going to bed, and already dreading our next match