Cosmoid

It’s Friday Baby so you know what that means that’s right time to make sure we’re Hunkin it Dumb Boy style in that DooDad Dumb way only the Real heads can

brown gravy at night, potato's delight white gravy in the morning, fresh biscuits take warning

fuck you movie world

I’m A Long-Time Moderate. I’m Sorry It Has Come To This, But How Many Emails With Pronouns In The Signature Could I Be Expected To Endure? Tomorrow in the NYT

We were never able to write a second hit because of dei

Prequel haters in ruins now that Revenge of the Sith is one of the most prescient films of all time

Glad to see @pcgamer.com giving gamers good advice

Thank you @gamehistoryorg.bsky.social for preserving this picture of me, @timturi.bsky.social, and Norm MacDonald for future generations.

(cold calling a chef) I have an idea for a new flavor of ravioli. You make it and sell it in your restaurant and we’ll split the profits 50/50

Air disaster at the airport named after guy who fired over ten thousand striking air traffic controllers. Ok

I'm not smelling sex and candy so much as a metallic odor mingled with burnt toast

one day i'll hit refresh and see one specific piece of news so good that it'll burn my dopamine receptors out completely

if movie theaters are really dedicated to commemorating David Lynch they should do screenings of all of the episodes of THE CLEVELAND SHOW he appeared in

Gonna tell the kids this was RFK Jr.

Bro please end the meeting bro please end the fucking meeting bro please

There's a scene in LOST where Locke wants to do something and Ben tells him it has to wait because Mikhail has an issue that needs dealing with first, and Locke's response is to simply beat Mikhail unconscious. I'm a pretty pacifist sort, but this is a novel way to deal with an inconvenience.

people talk about "looking for a needle in haystack," but i feel like that would take a long time. needles are small and easy to lose even in the best of circumstances. if one were hidden in a haystack, it seems you'd have to painstakingly sift through every last piece of hay to find it. what a pain

This guy's nose after Babe hits him.

Overheard at work: "feeds two birds with one scone." I like that one better.

[white guy with black friends at a sushi restaurant] could one of yall order the n***ri for me

the scene in twin peaks i think about the most is when leland is dancing at the party and he breaks down and everyone laughs, mimics it, and pretends it’s a dance and the party goes right on. sometimes i think that is a very poignant distillation of How We Got Here

I swear to god if I keep seeing posts about needing coffee or making coffee I’m gonna lose it and I don’t even know why it bothers me. It’s like I’m in here with thousands of Kathy’s and Dilberts or something.

creating a new type of celebrity called a nanocelebrity, which is a person known by 7-10 other people

Metal Arms sequel is called Metal Thighs: Thicc in The System

Well, they haven't fixed their hearts, so

A "superhero goes evil and tries to take over the world" story but it's Hawkeye so it's not all that big a deal

2300s social media: "welcome back to Cooking With History, today we're taking another look at one of the favored delicacies of the declining American Empire. The Hot Pocket was a mobile, savory pre-prepared meat pie perfect for a labor class who had little time to cook at home."

I love when people say stuff like "the biopic about this administration is going to be SCATHING" brother at this rate the biopic is going to be called "The Great Patriot: Rise Of A Ruler" and they'll make our kids watch it in school

Needed a lil snack so I’m splitting a can of tuna with Walter Cronkat

Valentine’s Day is coming up & if i don’t get a dozen ̶r̶o̶s̶e̶s̶ eggs, i stg 😡

Good morning Bluesky!

The 1st priority of good sci-fi is making aliens, robots, or machines look very very cool so it's easy to either project onto them or wife them. The 2nd priority is making sure a ship or facility has a big, glowing core.

I mean with a name like that I couldn't NOT try it

This is the exact amount of story I want in most video games.

This is such amazing news!! My e-reader was a literal sanity-saver when both of my kids were newborns. Now we can buy ebooks without sending our money to The Bad Place. bookshop.org/ebooks

MOVIE FACT: Elijah Wood's character in Return of The King was named "Frodo Baggins", a subtle reference to a character with the same name also played by Wood in one of director Peter Jackson's earlier films