Paul Cuff

Imagine if you knew someone who hoarded billions of mustard packets. More than generations of their family could ever use. You’d reasonably assume they’re mentally ill. And that would be a reasonable assumption for hoarding basically anything, but when it comes to money, people see it as admirable??

After a long day at the aquarium, the otters help tidy their toys away. Payment is made promptly and entirely in ice cubes.

"It was at this point that an oyster went down the wrong way and blocked my ear canals, meaning I missed the whole conversation where I agreed to a foreign donor illegally giving us £500,000..."

Under a Binface government, anyone who doesn’t accept human-made climate change as fact will be sent back to school, from Year 1 right the way to A Levels, to see if anything goes in the second time round. #VoteBinface

Digne at left back is the spitting image of Lee Brown. Same position and everything. Just not quite as good.

A Brit in the semis of Wimbledon, England still in the World Cup and Nigel Farage spending the summer arguing with a bin. Oh this happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea

Nothing says 'man of the people' quite like a politician calling a by-election at public expense on the issue of whether or not he should have the right to secretly take donations from Thai-based crypto billionaires and a convicted fraudster

That was a performance for the ages. Absolutely incredible resilience. Very, very proud of them.

Many women have been horrifically killed here in the past 5 years, including at least 7 who were stabbed multiple times, and their deaths did not receive statements from the PM, debates in the commons, or global news coverage. Nor were there any riots, or condemnations of cultures by politicians.

Happy Benjamin Massing Booting Claudio Caniggia Into Another Dimension Day to all who celebrate 🥳

Populism has peaked.

you know the way "why did the Roman Empire fall" and "what are the causes of the First World War" are big questions that sort of function like Rorsharch tests, allowing people to debate ultimately inexplicable moments in history? "Why did no one stop Trump" a decent future shout for the third.

A completely routine home win where it’s entirely calm is a wonderful thing. It’s been a while!

Three screens on the go here. Newcastle v Barcelona Atletico v Spurs Barrow v Bristol Rovers (obvs) Spurs comfortably the worst of the six teams….

Clear eyed, serious analysis. Spot on in every word.

we finally reached the end of this calendar event i accidentally made 12 years ago

Mark Carney's speech really is terrific: full text is here and very much worth your time.

Football is occasionally the cruellest sport. Truly miffed about what just happened.

Have been thinking about “immigration has been tearing this country apart.” Surely I’m not the only person to think that it isn’t true, but inflamed rhetoric about immigration by politicians is what is tearing this country apart and so statements like that only makes it worse.

Not the first to make this point. But there is a tyrant in charge of another country who is accused of being heavily linked to a paedophile sex ring - and supposed ‘patriots’ in this country are passionately willing him to take down our national broadcaster. Madness.

Interesting to see so many great British patriots right now begging an American president to bankrupt one of Britain’s last remaining truly national institutions.

The Bishop of Birmingham has written to the Shadow Justice Secretary Robert Jenrick about his comments about Handsworth

Fascinating data. There are three things here that really matter to people, and they think matter to everyone: Healthcare Economy Prices There is ONE thing that they assume matters to everyone, because it dominates so much of the narrative, but it is NOT affecting them personally: Immigration

This little parable is a nice illustration of why it is important for mainstream parties to set and uphold clear, bright line anti-prejudice norms, and of why the failure of senior Conservatives to do so risks doing great harm to their party

Well look what just turned up as a gift… a vinyl original of this beauty, signed by all four band members. Really rather happy with it! @remhq.bsky.social @millsish.bsky.social

“Your slipper, sir.” “Where is the other one, Alfred?” “I’m afraid there’s been a mishap, sir.”

Mortifying experience at Pulp last night but taking comfort that I’m not the worst person Jarvis Cocker has ever impersonated

The former ambassador to Denmark for the United States, Rufus Gifford, posted this video on his Facebook account: Ht: @hpsc24.bsky.social

BRISTOL BLOODY ROVERS.

Look, he made some big mistakes but Neville Chamberlain was a more decent man than any of the amoral trashbags currently being compared to Neville Chamberlain. He wasn't actively rooting for Hitler.

Absolutely tremendous scenes at Goodison

Slightly tougher game for Ipswich this week than last then…

Yup.

That is one of the worst offside decisions I have ever seen.

This is really important I think. Since I stopped looking at X I wouldn’t have had a clue about Musk pinning ‘free Tommy’ or any such nonsense. But tonight the main BBC news told me, and the whole of the UK, about it. How many people thought ‘if the really rich bloke who owns Tesla thinks that…’

We’ve been really poor for sure, but this is one of the worst refereeing performances I’ve ever seen.

I have never seen a Rovers team so utterly incapable of mounting an attack. It is absolutely abysmal. The longer that went on the worse it got. The energy levels dropped, the belief drained, we got utterly passive. The players clearly have absolutely no idea what they are supposed to do.

That was a superb away performance. Hutch, Macca and Taylor all outstanding. Get in!

Birmingham (a) tickets secured. Should be a great day, except between 3pm and 5pm.