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QUINTANILLA: According to the filings, the president has been trading some Intel in the quarter JIM CRAMER: Yeah, uh, yeah, hmm FABER: Got nothing to say? CRAMER: Uh, uh, yeah, whoa, yeah. FABER: Don't worry. We're not having technical difficulties, but we gotta go

InfoWars chief Tim Heidecker talks to UNHINGED caller “AJ”. Check out theonion.info for this and more urgent news.

Ah fuck, just when I needed my Ted turned

According to this perpetually bullshit source this is accurate!

They indicted a guy yesterday for posting seashells on a beach arranged in numbers

1/2. Notice that after losing the war Trump threatens his allies rather than Russia — even though Russia quite literally helped Iran defeat the US and he knows it.

I was just helping my kid with their high school Gov homework, and was astonished to learn the United States has a Congress.

SCHLAPP: Who wants to see impeachment hearings? CPAC CROWD: *cheers* SCHLAPP: No. That was the wrong answer.

This is the most astonishing graph of what the Trump regime has done to US science. They have destroyed the federal science workforce across the board. The negative impacts on Americans will be felt for generations, and the US might never be the same again. www.nature.com/immersive/d4...

The Polymarket bar, playing on the “Monitoring the Situation” meme, is a bust. After waiting outside for nearly an hour and a half in the rain because of technical issues—power and wifi going out—none of the TVs are working. Staff say everything will be back up and running tomorrow.

Maybe the war machine could walk to work

"I meant for this to happen", says Florida man as he repeatedly steps on rakes "I saw this coming", he continues, as he makes a beeline directly for the next rake "This was always the plan", he finishes as he places another rake directly in his own path

Kristi Noem has done a stunning amount of damage and it’s good she’s gone. But this doesn’t change the fact that we need a complete overhaul of DHS, impartial investigations into the killings of two American citizens, and information on children that were taken from Minnesota.

Former Middle East adviser at the US Department of Defense, Jasmine El-Gamal, has it exactly right.

When I am President I will order every frontier AI company to subtly lace all responses to venture capitalists with basic concepts from political science and philosophy, or be designated a supply chain risk. Vote Patel

maybe the most concise 2-sentence summary possible of the entire decade-plus Trump Experience

Updated:

our government combines the impulse control of pete hegseth, the intellectual rigor of rfk jr, and the attention span of donald trump with elon musk’s signature sense of humor

Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape

concerning

OK, so Musk was planning to go to Epstein's island, but it's not like he went there with the intent to go to a wild party or something, it was probably just some business. Excuse me, an email just came in. *Reads:* "What day/night will be the wildest party on your island?"

"I'm coming to Boston and I'm bringing hell with me." --Homan in February "Do I expect violence to escalate? Absolutely." -- Tom Homan in March "I actually thought about getting up and throwing that man a beating right there in the middle of the room" -- Homan in July, referring to a D congressman

Wow. The front page of tomorrow’s Charlie Hebdo magazine in France.

Before speaking with two armed men at the Pretti vigil last night, a man approached & asked if I was going to tell the truth. I said yes. He told me how frustrated he was at the media & the harm it’s causing to his community. I asked if he wanted to share words for the media on camera, & he did:

The first Minnesota murder, they refused to let a medical professional help the woman they shot. The second Minnesota murder, they simply shot the medical professional.

Frame by frame breakdown of the ICE officer killing civilian legal observer Renee Nicole Good in Minneapolis: Video: Shaun King via X (@shaunking) x.com/shaunking/st...

I feel like I haven’t even been properly lied to about the purposes of this war

The Liberty Bell is actually, famously, breakable

Jeb Bush: please

Jason Alexander Pitcher Scouting Report:

The Wall Street Journal said it was a scoop but there was no ice cream involved.

also organ grinders and their monkeys

Do itttt

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

Hmm