Hurf D. Butter-Eater

i see there might be some confusion about my intents: I'm not in any way advocating for violence against any person or people of any kind, only billionaires and bigots. Hope that clears it up.

when braking, my car makes a very low but incredibly distinct noise, and has done so through every brake job and tune up. if the windows are down and the radio is off, every time i come to a complete stop, my car sounds like Fat Albert doing the Game Over Return of Ganon Laugh from Zelda 2.

ever realize how awesome it is to exist at the same point in time as the Pillars of Eternity franchise does just like, wow, i get to play these games as often as i fucking want amazing fantastic praise woedica

"... rid me of this turbulent techpriest?"

Keep thinking about a post I saw that said something like, "The best way to understand your political opponents is to sit down at a table with them and have a conversation." Yeah I did that and here's what I understand now: they swallow and regurgitate propaganda 24/7 and live in another dimension.

“Mind if I do a J?”

me? a spy of the Obsidian Order? a plain and simple tree?

Ok Mr Walken, could you do Carl Sagan attempting to pick up someone from across the bar?

mmygod

DOG DOG REVOLUTION THERE ARE NO EASY CHOICES IN THIS MODE!

🤠

ok Samwise, settle down there

The kitchen manager at The Beasts castle

this second session being impossible to schedule is the most D&D thing you could possibly imagine

the overwhelming urge to learn hand embroidery and stained glass construction

uggghhh changing careers at 42 after 16 years in my current position, CHANGE makes the stress hormones do the Tasmanian devil spin though my guts and makes my anxiety howl like a choir of banshees but FUCK did i need to get out of there. TWO different drs told me for my health, i needed a change

I really cannot think of a greater honor than to have the Muppets say this about you upon your passing

Make a band bigger: They ARE Giants.

the first dude to microwave a grapefruit with a hole cut into it:

I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that no one has yet made an erotic Fallout parody called Ballsout, wherein a large group of very comely survivors are trapped in a Vault by nuclear apocalypse and all are exposed to the Fuck Everything Virus. I bet you could get Perlman to narrate it.

in honor of my vasectomy follow-up with the dick doctor

i have lit a furnace at the core of myself and it is invigorating

instructions unclear, drank skull powder from McDonald's novelty star Trek glass. now farting ghosts, please advise.

This is just to say I have OCRed the text thet was in tne arch:ve and whicb yov were prabaldy seamhing for "breahtast" Fargme ms fheg mem debo:w5 sb ?mccf mmb 5c oc1b

my mental health would be so much better if i could eradicate either my libido or my appetite

when the cleric asks the friendly cloth golem how they should heal its wounds:

*Miss Piggy onstage, dressed in spotless LL Bean flannel, holding a guitar she doesn't play once during the entire set* This one goes out to the one I love HIIIII-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My favourite thing about Haaland is that he spent 1.3 million ​Norwegian kroner of his football money on a rare 1594 edition of Viking chronicles - a record book sale for Norway - and then donated it to his regional library. www.reuters.com/lifestyle/ha...

councils and advisors have been locked in burning barns for betrayals less vile than this

Hey so what's the available apartment situation looking like in the city? The fey who can only speak in riddles whom I inadvertently trapped as my real estate buyer agent:

45 years ago today. Buried on page 20 on a holiday Friday just like this one, news that changed the world. www.nytimes.com/1981/07/03/u...

James Cameron looks completely different when he's at his natural ocean depth/pressure.

Grimly amusing Dem machines think they deserve some sort of entitlement hierarchy. My entire life, everything has been moving backwards, politically, democratically, bureaucratically, judicially. You are all failures. You are presumptively part of the rot that must be removed down to the root.

my little droney assimilation is magic

folks love to say they want weird friends, but mention you used to enjoy dry oatmeal as a snack and suddenly they "have other plans" or "cannot fathom your lifestyle choices" or "are you wearing a horses skin RIGHT NOW" first off, it's called a hide

"The Americans can't get the slime out of their capital's monument pool and will arrest you for touching it," sounds like the sort of lie they'd tell us in the Soviet Union so we'd stop bitching about bread lines.

hey @proton.me what's up with this nonsense? are you or are you not officially sponsoring this fash trash bigot? this is who you choose to ally with and give money to? www.reddit.com/r/BuyFromEU/...

It’s Jadzia now, thanks.

and yet we clamor for more @jesawyer.bsky.social