Neil Turner

I guess it's time for another #introduction post? I'm Neil, I work in Higher Education and have been *very* online for a long time. Currently a co-chair of LGBTQ+ staff network at work, hearing aid user, interested in transport and live in Yorkshire. Blog at neilturner.me.uk updated every other day.

10 IF OWNER NOT EQUAL "CHURCH OF ENGLAND" GOTO 40 20 PRINT "It's the Church" 30 STOP 40 PRINT "It's the Duke of Westminster" 50 STOP

What’s that you say? Liz has a new book out which even the Telegraph is saying is even more unhinged than the last one? Wonderful, I’ll post this then.

perfect, no notes

Imagine trying to tell people the country is full when you're standing in an empty room 🤣

Netflix are releasing a Christmas movie about a bodyguard. So may I attempt to be the first to say: 🎶And Iiiiiii will always love Yuuuuule🎵

Donkey Pong. Artist: christhebarker https://b3ta.com/board/11432496 From the 'Game Mashups' challenge https://b3ta.com/challenge/gamemashups/popular/ #GameMashups

Well I suppose you can’t claim that sponsoring one journalism awards category affects the judges in the category before it.

My latest cartoon for @newscientist.com

There’s a lesson here for other parties around the world.

Sci-Fi Weekender, swallowed by the void It looks like our favourite annual science fiction convention, Sci-Fi Weekender (SFW), is no more. We were emailed a week ago to say that the company which organises it, Dark... https://neilturner.me.uk/2026/10/27/sci-fi-weekender-swallowed-by-the-void/

did you guys think this would make him seem less cool somehow or what

I'm guessing this is similar to what we call MARS (Mutually Agreed Resignation Scheme) in the UK public sector, where staff can get a payout of several months' wages for agreeing to leave. Still, a that's a big number.

"Buses have been diverted onto side streets along the backs of the shops, so despite claims of lengthy walks that people simply can’t cope with, the new bus stops are generally the same distance from shop entrances as they always were."

I might be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure that KL643 is the only flight number to be the subject of a top 10 single* * in the Netherlands.

Thinking up game mash ups for B3ta and why doesn't this exist? Does it? It feels like such an obvious fit. P1 is the Lemmings P2 is Worms, P1 has to escape while P2 tried to destroy them all? Or a three player version where the Worms are also fighting each other/protecting lemmings.

Signs of email of financial scams: 1) They stress urgency 2) Use generic greetings instead of your name 3) Ask you to do something like "Verify your information" 4) Threaten account closure or similar if action not taken. Freetrade: Hold my beer! (and, yes this is a legit email from them)

I could spend the rest of my life analysing this feedback sign in the local Home Bargains. Did 'not happy' break from overuse? Was it taped over to ensure 100% positive feedback? Is the green 'b' in 'feedback' some kind of subliminal nudge? Is the duck tape indent because people still keep pressing?

It's so funny seeing the press do a whole "But is the pedestrianisation of Oxford Street a good thing?" thing. Pedestriaisation ALWAYS works. Always. Bit of a bump when it switches and then, almost immediately, life/commerce roars into the fill the gaps left by diesel fumes. Love this for London

In the last few weeks i've been bombarded with emails from people who have minor tech support problems. ChatGPT is telling them to email me, writing their emails, and compiling "evidence packets" after convincing them they have stumbled on a major story: www.404media.co/chatgpt-keep...

This might be the biggest thing I've shipped in Home Assistant. And also the most boring one. I'm weirdly proud of both. HACS is now built in, as the Marketplace. If we did it right, you'll barely notice. I wrote down how I look at it, what it means for you, and why we picked that name.

"amplify your people" is 100% the best strategy

I love it when I have a run of gigs in towns that share names with places in the US where the US version is so much more famous that people think I’m over there. “I’m in Boston, Washington, and Newark this week” I’ll say and people will get very excited.

After the storm my barbecue looks like a meth addicted Minion

My Dutch wife remains astonished at how many adverts in the UK are for various forms of gambling. It's not subtle and incredibly noticeable if you're not used to it.

Bluesky has four kinds of users

What’s wrong with DHH is that he’s a racist but tech bros also HATE the way GDPR sets even the tiniest limits on how much data they can scrape And my dude, look up French power stations

4 6.

Sorry America but if you call somethingThe Cheesecake Factory I expect to go there and have an industrial machine push bite-sized cheesecakes into my mouth. At the absolute least, a cheesecake conveyor belt like it’s sushi.

FROM SERBIA TO BRAZIL AND EVERY DISCO I GET IN MY HEART IS PUMPING FOR LOVE

While the election result in #Brazil is obviously good news, we should remember that countless American wannabe-fascists poured $billions into achieving the opposite result and now have nothing to show for it, so it's not just good news, but also objectively hilarious.

It's insane that the campaign against El-Sayed is basically that he has some secret relationship with the people that the president's family has a secret relationship with.

me: mom, what was I like as a little girl? my mom (completely fucking braindead): hey alexa describe a human kid or something

In his acceptance speech, Lula says he will work to regulate digital platforms in Brazil. “Digital crimes must be dealt with like real-life crimes.” This comes after Meta directly interfered with the Brazilian elections, favouring Flávio Bolsonaro.

Your monthly reminder that if you're using ChatGPT to do your science, you're failing your colleagues, community, and all of us. Here, ChatGPT makes up data and presents it as the real thing — then apologizes when confronted.

Counterpoint: CEOs should look at their companies as if they needed to provide a service for every citizen, constantly renew their social licence to operate, and plan for the long term wellbeing of the whole country. www.ft.com/content/8255...

This made me weep. Well done Brazil!

They are losing even when they are blatantly cheating now. Roll on the mid terms

Just starting a new @b3ta challenge, mashing up games

All this talk of stockpiling for emergencies has reminded me that the spoof Preparing for Emergencies Web site by @tomscott.com from 2004 is still online. I think that's when I first came across him, as it got him into a bit of trouble. www.theguardian.com/education/20...

Things I have inadvertently stockpiled: Lots of microUSB cables Several kilos of curly pasta Some bad tasting flavoured water in cans that we bought a pallet of cheaply Branston Beans Several half-used multipacks of Christmas cards

Updating firmware on a Nanoleaf Essentials smart bulb Last week, Home Assistant notified me that there was a firmware update for the Nanoleaf Essentials smart bulb that I bought last year. Installing it... https://neilturner.me.uk/2026/10/25/updating-firmware-on-a-nanoleaf-essentials-smart-bulb/