Man from Hjelmdall

Not only an incredible talent, but a rare talent who also thought it was funny to just voice random memes every once in a while

There was a fucking hole in our planet’s *atmosphere* Like a legit, no joke, “this will unravel our entire ecosystem” hole in the world, and then we fixed it by working together across national and political lines As a species we decided, “we will survive” Let’s do that some more

they did the thing

Sad news everyone. Our beloved friend the computer has now become a hated enemy

this is who you had to buy weed from before legalization

The true hustlers know that you walk in with a pizza box and offer the interviewers a slice. Everybody loves pizza

@discord.com I see now why age verification started rolling out, fuck this and fuck you for doing this

Have literally never heard of this person or this song

If a woman takes anything you're wearing and puts it on herself, she's flirting. Especially your pants

I realize there's no take in a room full of 30 somethings (i.e. bluesky) that will get heads nodding in agreement more than this one but...guys, I'm 45 and have no back pain. You sit at the computer too much and exercise too little. Just sayin 😬

*screams in Irish*

ed sheeran wishes he were irish so badly but he is unfortunately, the most english fucker to ever live

I have to imagine Trump knows for sure that when he goes to Ireland of all places he's gonna get told to fuck off but it gladdens my Irish heart to think he may actually hold out some hope that they might think he's not actually subhuman scum

The Onion has created a machine that will kill everyone on Earth that is coincidentally running out of money and the only way to slow it down is if my staff and I take a six-week vacation to Cabo San Lucas.

If a 10 pc gets 2 sauces then a 20 pc should get 4 and a 40 pc should get 8, what are we doing here

The fact we have an executive class that doesn't know what to do with the Looney Tunes or The Muppets really sums up what a joyless, barren world they inhabit.

what a curious day to put these on sale

Now in Gunmetal Grey!

Legit forgot that we used to do this but damnit we did

This woman is such a weird little gremlin, she has Gollum mannerisms

Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal.

I knew within the first 5 minutes

lol I dare you to try and create a national service requirement

hey, remember: don't eat anything and don't breathe

This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days. ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE.

No statement from Mitch McConnell on the sudden passing of his senate colleague? So much for decorum

victory lapping on this one

has there ever been a man so effective at demolishing the vibe. historic scarer of the hoes

There’s never been anyone whose involvement more completely and immediately poisons vibes and destroys joy. No good thing survives contact.

Can't wait until right wing media starts saying ICE are Antifa in disguise

folarin balogun steps onto the pitch. he's got a new celebration– six-shooter finger guns! wait, those are real revolvers! he guns down the entire belgian side in the first minute & trump lands marine one at midfield to present him with an official pardon and the medal of honor. he is then deported

The perfect end to this World Cup: Balogun scores the winner, Trump presents him with the trophy then announces the end of birthright citizenship via executive order and deports him

This country was one person's vote away this morning from putting any birthright citizen in danger of being deported tomorrow. We are so much closer to the abyss than we think. Man oh man.

Americans when they hear Europeans don't have air conditioning

Ok I am now rooting for Iran to win it all

The cringe that I just crunged

I'm in Wash DC and I just saw this worker get out of the reflecting pool