dυĸĸнa earl

you actually died three years ago and your brain has been kept nominally alive spouting gibberish in a complex micro-blogging simulation

stop and smell the impermanence

Shutting the fuck up, it’s not just for breakfast anymore

i have an AI agent that screams nonstop. Just an endless scream.

when she wants to watch Ted Lasso again

𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽

that’s my emotional support stack of secondhand books

logging on

anyone else still trying to get that damn U2 album off their phone?

Method acting as a functional human being for 20+ years.

A hayride into the void. With pumpkins.

Stuck in the teeth of the gears as they grind.

Real life is in the sub plots.

BREAKING: I’ve finally gained the upper hand in the war on myself

Mixing capitulate with catapult and tossing defeated words at the castle walls

Being horny is so embarrassing... your body willing the continuation of this doomed species

Year of YOUR Lord

"they're doing malfoid on twitter" i don't care, man. this whole discourse is funko pops. you went to the ragebait factory and got ragebaited

I would, but I'm just in a weird place right now *motions to entire universe*

tl;dr the room

bank tube me a burrito

idk man but manifesting and maintaining a positive mindset is fucking exhausting

do you denounce the sultans of swing

Letting kids reach in the junk drawer of my kitchen this year for trick or treating.

We’re not wishing on this monkeys paw without a confirmation email.

How to escape samsara how to escape samsara fast how to escape samsara solo run how to escape samsara reddit how to escape samsara -pinterest

Not only does my new car fly but it is also alive and it is also also my wife

[seductively wipes down kitchen countertops]

[frantically refreshing the cal fire map]

let’s ponder the riddle of steel over some dark roast cold brew

ＳＥＩＺＥ ＴＨＥ ＤＡＹ

pretty cool how every podcast format is dumb guy host learns new things from slightly less dumb guest

"Are you taking advantage of your employer 401k match" UH the employer should be taking advantage of my offer not to release sixty live frogs into the ventilation shaft

Ok, grab your kazoos.

goddammit, just realized the reason we need to identify stop signs and school buses and crosswalks to confirm we’re not robots is to train the ai in driverless cars

*shouting “think fast” and doing nothing*

mfw some random motherfucker messages me "hi, how are you?" on teams

hey robot butler, mix up a dirty martini with some blue cheese olives and pull up today’s champions league highlights will ya

I gave Grok my credit card number to find cheap groceries and now I apparently own 13 Cybertrucks

Walking the plank as a lifestyle