[//] Professor Hazard

Twitter may be naught but a half-buried Ozymandian visage nowadays, but it did allow me to reclaim a bunch of fan art that I had posted over there that was lost when my hard drive died over the summer. Here's a thread of them in no particular order:

let's all agree that we're allowed to make fun of his voice after this one everybody else that suffers from zombie groan, you're cool, nobody's making fun of you

I think whales beaching themselves must be like when I slide off my bed onto the floor. "Maybe it will be fun on the floor," I think every time, despite it only leading to me destroying my knees as I try to get up off of the floor. Sometimes our thirst for adventure leaves us high and dry.

my terrible son is in the news again #PipistrelloVonDracula

Bluesky has four kinds of users

I don't want to be forced to disclose what I put in my burgers bc making them with rat meat is so much better for my bottom line as a small food business

coachella 2046 headlined by holographic sharon lois & bram

RT @ExistentialEnso: You Can Eat Anything (by tommcgovern27 on IG)

Happy 1st anniversary to the comeback of the Bored Ape Yacht Club as a metaverse !

I told my dad that I killed him for a punchline today and he was excited at the idea that so many people were hitting Like on it and asked if he was immortalized now. "At least for a couple of days!" I said

After half a century of life I think I can confidently pinpoint my driving underlying character flaw as "if a bird landed on my finger and sang a little song then I'd never be happy until it happened again"

[flustered costanza voice] george is walkin' away from omelas!!!

Always a good day to watch the Snake ‘n’ Bacon pilot. Stinks that this is all we got, but at least the world was perfect for 11 minutes. youtu.be/iKULePVxyF4?...

nothing scarier than gravestone decorations on halloween. oooo these guys were given a proper burialllll

new pip reaction image just dropped, happy friday to all who celebrate

Lights are reflected off a bulletproof screen as President Trump speaks during a campaign rally in Greenville, North Carolina. More photos of the week: reut.rs/4yGkBNh 📷 Evan Vucci

Happy Ethan Klein downfall day to all who celebrate!!!!!!

Half Life 3 and Winds of Winter will release on the same day. Alan Moore and his artificial snake god will harness the expulsion of nerd ecstasy into a potent spell woven by a thousand Etsy witches to destroy fascism. JK Simmons will punch JK Rowling in the face and follow it with a "just kidding".

Zumba Fitness World Party (Wii U) is $0.01 on Amazon Haul link.amazon/B0ev4GDo2 #ad $0.01 sale (limit 1 per customer) link.amazon/B02X9Hw8u

I don’t believe they’ll do anything but light money on fire here but fuck them for even thinking it.

we found an AI-generated Korean pop group

Always have a barbecue sauce stain on a piece of your clothing. If you suddenly get transported to the far past, being able to lift your shirt up and inhale/suck on a barbecue sauce spot could mean the difference between losing your mind or surviving. The familiar flavor and aroma will galvanize you

"please please sir" what a sniveling worm, just rename the ocean you pussy

"Don't worry, this is the only safe way to pick them up. This is how their mothers pick them up."

This 👇

what if Trump misheard the question and was saying his favorite character was Quiet Piggy, the pork ninja

Make an alien cocktail by swapping phonemes from a noun and its description Knitchy Ee

If it honks like a duck and it tonks like a truck it's probably Honky Tonk Duck's truck

This is actually hilarious 😂 🤣 The man makes some valid points, tho Shark, at home just minding its business, then here comes this stranger

holy shit the CHOPS

Cowpoke Bebop

Maybe age related farsightedness won't happen to me because I am a special boy *turns 43*

If you’ve ever enjoyed my content or thought about subbing/tipping, I would greatly appreciate it if you did so now to help me afford Muppet’s FIP treatment. He is so special to me and I hate seeing him suffer so horribly. Please please please help me save him 🙏🏻🥺💔 links: link.me/magentaratgirl

Just got all my boys together to take on the wandering ronin who came to town. There’s like 15 of us and only one of him so pretty much the only thing that would give me any pause is if he was master of the devastating and lightning-fast iaidō style. But that’s not likely. Coward hasn’t even drawn h

Bro bugs literally don't even know who you are. You have no clout among bugs.

Super El Niño?! They never should have given that kid a cape!

i got a big gunshow comic sale going on now on @topa.to , folks! all gunshow books left are 50% off! Out with the old and in with the new!! topatoco.com/collections/...

(hearing about a new video game) whoa, sounds cool! i hope it's lightly similar to the 1980 game Rogue!