Timothy Featherston

Michigan has made an elegant decision: to make a football game so legitimately unenjoyable not one person is capable of finding pleasure within it.

I wouldn’t wish playing Iowa on anybody.

My favorite way to put this, as someone who studied Classical History in actual college (not just on Twitter): If you told an ancient Roman or Athenian that his culture had "more in common" with a German or Briton than with an Egyptian or Ethiopian, he'd punch you in the throat.

I have never seen a more perfect example of How Not To Defend A Lead

Genuinely awful from England

No soccer until Tuesday

I did it I wrote the article wish me luck Lionel Messi is the GOAT, Ronaldo is not, why just about every statistical analyst agress www.expectinggoals.com/p/messi-rona...

WE’RE ON TO THE 2027 WOMENS WORLD CUP

hydration break:

Hydration, broken

This team has no spine.

win or lose, soccer is about engaging in open corruption

This game has everything.

Again, if I were France, I would simply score four goals (three in the first half) against Paraguay. I was told this was easy when the United States men’s national team did it

PHOEBE BRIDGERS: and what *I'M* saying is that pre-snap motion has become such a staple of Shanahan Tree coaching schemes that modern defenses have fully adapted by filling any potential leverage gaps ANDY REID: (nodding while eating a big bowl of spaghetti)

This is the moment for me Goal of his life, pure disbelief He can’t believe he just did that

*sigh*

Boooooo

Getting the boys together for this Austria-Spain matchup

TAKE THAT REF

Chase this ref out of the country

Absolute horse shit

That should be a straight red for Dzeko. Dirty as fuck.

I hate it here

The ban is heinous for what it does to transgender athletes. But if you think cisgender girls and young women won’t be caught up in the fallout, too, you are woefully ignorant

one thing i find funny is that the founding generation would likely have been very enthusiastic about, say, muslim immigrants and intensely skeptical of all the catholics

The party of Lincoln REALLY hates Lincoln

Penalties are so deeply cruel

Messi, asked which of his World Cup goals was his favorite: “I don’t know. I don’t remember. I’m tired.”

Austria-Argentina is a top-tier "just to be clear, what exactly did your great-grandfather do for work" game

watching a movie. shout out to movies

“His more accomplished fellow analysts — France legend Thierry Henry and comically blunt Swedish icon Zlatan Ibrahimović — have been just as annoyed with Lalas’s hot takes, how he basks in agitating people, and his delight in sucking the air out of the room.,” writes @chadfinn.bsky.social.

VEGEMITE FREE ZONE

Rebecca: "Chaps, Alexi left us" Zlatan: "Who? Rebecca: "Alexi will be back, Alexi will be back with us very soon" Thierry: "Your plan worked, Rebecca" Rebecca: "Don't you bring me into this, no chance" Zlatan: "America, you're welcome" lmaooooooooooooooooo

ALL MY HOMIES LOVE VAR

The Australians scored in their net because the goals are on the opposite sides in the Southern Hemisphere

So cool that a product of MLS, Lionel Messi, is doing this on the world stage

CAPE VERDE WIN 0-0

don't forget Toad

This is that scene where the guy waves the sword around and then Indiana Jones pulls out a gun

The most impressive own goal I’ve seen in a while.

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done - started a war in the middle east - completely destroyed the economy

W’s foreign policy, Nixon’s authoritarianism, Jackson’s racism, Gilded Age corruption, and (by the end) Coolidge’s effects on the economy.