Post

Did he get drunk, black out and wake up in a Waffle House?

Republicans thought leader. @chrislhayes.bsky.social @jaketapper.bsky.social

TBH, if you are gonna teleport, a Waffle House is not a bad choice.

Teleport to a waffle house once, shame on me. Teleport to a waffle house twice... Um... I'm not going to a waffle house again.

Well, he was hungry, so...

In the Midwest we “teleport” to Perkins. On occasion the spell fails and you end up in the drunk tank.

We used to call blacking out while drunk 'teleporting' and in that sense I too have teleported to a Waffle House or two

Did he have maple or strawberry syrup?

teleported to a Waffle House hell yeah brother

Were mushrooms involved with said "teleportation"? Enquiring minds want to know.

Typical south American boy 🤣

Another fucking maga nut!!

If teleportation turned out to be real, I can think of a lot better places to teleport to than Waffle House, but okay.

OTOH, teleportation could be a very useful skill for a FEMA official. Why worry about arranging transport for people from disaster-stricken areas when you can just move them through time and space with your mind?

It’s called “blacking out.” Who among us hasn’t done that and ended up at Waffle House?

Meth is a hell of a drug !

Normal people have to take the bus home when they have had too much to drink.

Teleportation would be a genuinely useful skill for the job, though.

In fairness, every kid in the South inexplicably teleports to a Waffle House after a long night of drinking at least once in their college days.

tfw you come back to reality while you are blackout drunk

bsky.app/profile/mari...

Republicans typically don't have a sense of humour It's more likely this was written by a Republican

Um, OK.....

That's called being blackout. It's how most people get to Waffle House

Democrats can only control the weather. Republicans get to teleport to a Waffle House. Jipped.

Teleported = Drunk Uber ride

Where is that large automobile?

At least he got yummy hash browns covered, diced and chunked.

Those who know, know

"The best people"?

It might be best to leave the DMT out of that next spliff.

He thinks he's special but every Southerner has done this.

That's promotion material right there.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug

Okay but posting at 3am that you teleported to a Waffle House is legitimately funny. Just because every fed official's resume is their social media now doesn't mean we gotta burn him for bangers. I'm sure there's plenty worse.

I mean, to have the awesome ability to teleport and he chose to go to a Waffle House?

🤔

Did they just hire a crazy guy from the street?

But you know it's rhetoric? I mean... you said it twice! "Person tells joke we knew was joke, but decided to lean in to headline"

Guy sounds legit: "In May 2023, Phillips said a Chinese army was being imported to kill Americans at the border." He probaby meant teleported. "All your Waffle House are belong to us."

If the Waffle House was open then he didn't need to be on duty.

Who among us hasn’t on occasion, teleported to a Waffle House.

Teleported to a waffle house? Sounds like drugs or alcohol abuse?

Odd way to describe being black out drunk, but a pretty common result.

Guy elevated in the ranks of the paranoid psychotic Nazi party turns out to be a paranoid psychotic Nazi? Fuck man this is why you guys are The News.

Teleported to a waffle House is a side effect of meth

This guys history is exactly what this administration requires.

That's quite a way of admitting you drove blackout drunk to a waffle house

At least he didn’t drive while under the influence ….Teleportation is a far better choice!

Little did he know he's now wanted in (at least) two states.

Wow, I also teleported to Waffle House - I was high as fuck but yeah it happens.

if anyone has figured teleportation out, its definitely this guy

Beat me to it. Thanks.

I apparently teleported to IHOP often in my drunken youth.

To be fair, violent rhetoric and waffle house are kinda synonymous

I refuse to date anyone who hasn't been teleported to a Waffle House. It's a Red Flag.

We've all done it!

Pretty sure it was from the Waffle House, cause that’s the last thing I remember of that night.

Too bad cnn requires a subscription. Fuck those guys, not a penny 🖕

I can see where the ability to teleport would be an asset in disaster response

Only the best people in this administration. (Checks notes) Only the craziest people in this administration.

Whomst among us amirite

Oy vey.

Right? The Waffle House thing isn’t disqualifying at all.

What could possibl go wrong?

Well, of COURSE he has. 🙄

More good news.

Just another day in the Kiddie Diddler Reich.

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwik...

So how'd he teleport? Device or what ?

With the price of gas that teleporting comes in handy!

He must have been just starving then.

Nazi Nazi Nazi...

Seems up to par for this administration 🤦🏽‍♀️

Energize!

Dumbest US administration in HISTORY

who among us hasn’t gotten blackout drunk and woke up in a waffle house

I look forward to both John Fetterman's spirited defense of his appointment and Chuck Schumer's milquetoast pivot to affordability.

Did he teleport, or did the hash browns and pecan waffles SUMMON him? They DO have a draw... But no, there should be NO new confirmations until the budget is balanced and our Constitution is followed, especially if they are just more Klown Kar Klowns for the Kakistocracy.

Kind of embarrassing to admit you got blackout drunk and came to in a Waffle House.

He’s not special he just had an uneventful drive

Do they serve fruit loops at Waffle House?

Tommy, you can't teleport, you're blacking out drunk. www.youtube.com/shorts/B4APO...

Reagan emptied psych facilities onto the streets; Trump is emptying the streets of psych patients and putting them in charge of things at the White House.

Does teleportation fuck up your face?

This is America

I can’t believe Trump hasn’t already put him in charge of NASA with Randy Quaid.

What's so strange about this? How do you think you get breakfast in bed?

To be fair, if I'm going to be teleported anywhere, Waffle House is in my top 5, okay top 10. But still, pretty great.

mezha.net/eng/bukvy/gr... No paywall “Teleportation isn’t funny.” – Phillips 🛸

I mean, it may FEEL like you teleported to the Waffle House but really your friend drove you there while you were high out of your mind.

Oh yourrrrr totally safe America…. You got the right people to save you when your world goes to shit!

I'm shocked that he's a Republican. Just shocked, I tell you.

CNN is meh anyways. These are better in regards to current events analysis: > The Majority report with Sam Seder, > Vaush, > Some more news, > Hasanabi, > Secular Talk, > Climate Town, > The JAAM with JJ, Abee, Allen, Matt, > I've had it podcast, > Overzealots

Had to double check- would have sworn this was an Onion headline.

I always used Four Loko to teleport to Waffle House

Just another day in Government by Florida Man.

Pathocracy

Least crazy Republican

USA: a penal colony ran by fucking idiots.

This, too, is Blaseball.

Drug testing please.

What a strange coincidence—anytime I drink, or get really stoned I, also, teleport to Waffle House. 🧐

He who has never teleported to a Waffle House be first to throw a stone.

Another untreated psychotic person telling us what to think and believe.