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Pelicans can have a little baby, as a treat.

Wait, before we discuss baby safety... Is that really what pelican eyes look like!?

I’m sorry, but this is obviously fake. Real pelicans can write English fluently.

@gothtatertot.bsky.social

Understood, and appreciated! Thank goodness the place I bought the trebuchet from has free returns. (And, got it: blanket ban on blankets in cribs too.)

You mean not the kind of blanket that *shouldn't* go in a baby's sleep space.

I made a working LEGO trebuchet in grade school and you can't stop me from doing it again!

I mean.. you're not wrong

pelican but pelishouldnt

So you're working with Big Stork to cement their monopoly on babies!?

Until your baby is old enough to spin its own webs, it needs no blanket. It will know when it is time to cocoon and transform.

What a marvellous bird is the pelican, its mouth can hold more than its belly can.

I'd belive you, but your gov't has a well documented history of constant, obvious lies. So I'm putting the baby in the pelican's mouth and frying my turkey indoors this year (low ceiling too).

I don’t think a pelican would be allowed to lie on the internet.

I dunno… the pelican is making a good case

You should instead place your child in a stork. Storks can be trusted with infants.

How DARE you!! Pelican is a goddamn hero.

This is the kind of information the American public needs 🫡

@heythereadamhere.bsky.social

Well a stork abrung em. What's the prolem?

Honestly not even making a joke here I genuinely wouldn't put it past a pelican to eat a human infant. I've seen more than one video of these things eating pigeons and one that was thwarted from its attempt to swallow a very much alive and struggling duck whole. They've very opportunistic!

If not for baby, then why baby-shaped?

....In his beak, he keeps babies up to a week....

Right, they have such strong instincts to protect theoretical babies that they kill anything that gets to a baby's eye level.

I can hear him from Iowa.

Definitely a comfortable bassinet and not a terrifying murderbirb.

what if my baby is reaaaaaaallly tired