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For new $TSLAQ

419 scam. Self-driving ketamine; Thailand cave submarines on Mars; monorail centers in orbit; absolutely no way to fire the CEO - like the grammar and spelling errors in the email from the Nigerian prince, placed to weed out all but malleable idiots.

Analysts on CNBC were gushing about f-Elon all day long with zero mention of any Fraud or SEC violations

Completely agree. However, there are enough people with enough money who think he is the greatest entrepreneur of his generation and as a result "the market" values his role as the part-time CEO of Tesla and Space X as being worth at least $1 trillion in market cap each.

nothing that therapy wouldn't fix but guess what he won't do

It’s emperor with no clothes for both him, Trump and *insert oligarch* for most of the press. It drives me nuts

Pro-GOP shop

bsky.app/profile/fanc...

You neglected to mention if also pays almost nothing in taxes while its existence is mainly because of gubmint support…🤔

Behold! Sir Scamalot's most splendid grift!

"everyone thought" is doing a ton of heavy lifting there. Like a man of the universe level of lifting.

Looking forward to what OpenAI’s IPO will expose too. Getting my popcorn ready!

Head full of ketamine

The next meme stock for fanbois. See: Tesla.

AFTER BURNER

“Efficient markets”

The personification of survivorship bias.

Look out below.

Even Tom Lee is little nervous right now.

This is why they just raised the price on Starlink internet.

Musk’s legacy could well be *ending* access to space for humans. Not as some kind of political/regulatory result. Because he’s made it physically impossible to penetrate his debris cloud.

What kind of financial trick have they used to make Starlink appear profitable? Its capital costs alone are not far off $10 billion a year.

This is as right around the corner as Tesla’s full self driving.

We watch him launch space trash, at least twice a week… I’ll be glad when he is put out of business.

The extraction class loves this fuzzy math and idolatry.

Isn't Musk's plan to roll his failed / weirdo infested companies into SpaceX in order to keep them alive? Neuralink, Boring Company, Xwitter? 🤔

As with the fascist, he has never had any consequences *to him*.

They always seem to find more money to prop this guy up

"A company claiming to be worth $1.75 trillion reporting a $4.9 billion net loss on $18.67 billion in consolidated revenue for 2025, all run by a white supremacist fake engineer with a head full of cottage fucking cheese" - great line, hope Goldman and Morgan Stanley will put it in the offering

"everyone thought"??? Come on. How many people really believed anything positive about the financials of Musk's space wreck?

That is disrespectful to cottage cheese.

Okay, but regarding whichever editor came up with that title, was there anybody who thought this company was a 'behemoth'? Pretty sure it is an even divide between those who know Musk runs bad businesses, those who want in on a pump-and-dump, and members of the Musk personality cult.

Perhaps Trump will give him a windfall and put SpaceX in charge of national ABM defense.

And what fucking AI? I thought they made space rockets, which is pretty much the polar opposite of AI. They want to be a company that sells AI-related enterprise applications, and shoot up a couple of rockets on the side? Sounds like a sound business plan.

Yeah, you’ve heard of personalist regimes? Musk’s scam companies are personalist businesses. Nobody is investing based on the balance sheet or cash flow. They’re investing based on the nonsensical proclamations of a Nazi ketamine junkie. How far would Tesla’s stock price crash if he had a stroke?

The best thing about being a magic bean seller is that there is always a group of magic bean buyers who think this time it will be different.

7% is from existing revenue generating businesses. The rest is based on fever dreams and hot air. Great investment!

Don't forget their $29B of debt.

Unfortunately it probably will go fine. Tesla exists at a valuation that far exceeds what makes sense. It'll basically be another meme stock.

SpaceX IPO: "We hope feelings don't care about facts."

That's not cottage cheese, you silly goose, that's ketamine!

Those numbers imply a price-to-sales ratio of 93. NVIDIA's P/S is 23, which is high even for tech companies. 93 is utterly laughable, and anybody who invests in this scam deserves what they get.

Hold on now - there's lots of ketamine in that head, too

Long as that government teat keeps producing...

Hey there. He’s got a lot of ketamine in his head too.

"Everyone thought"? Who is everyone?