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I keep trying to think of sarcastic alternatives but none of them meet the criteria. Like, a physical bulletin board in your neighborhood has ads

of whom are they demanding? what do expect to happen of those people if their demands are not met? like, if that's what you want to see in the world, go build it yourself! but don't expect a warm reception to your inevitable gofundme mutual aid requests later lmao

I suggest such folks spin up their own self-hosted mail server on an old release of openbsd.

Historically there are some pretty Good Reasons for that, too

I was gonna say, it’s fine if you want a bicycle made from wood that has a police siren and tows a rowboat, but you’re not getting that off-the-shelf

Not NECESSARILY but that is often what is meant and product-sellers know this, often that’s the big selling point of the product (I am a customer of a bunch of these services but I, well, pay for them)

How, um, do they think spam or harmful mail is going to be detected, categorized, and siloed?

seastead it!

I think the word I'd reach for is entitled

I noped out of Proton because their PGP implementation requires them to have custody of the private key. (Say what you will about PGP, but meh...) That ain’t how it works partner, I alone keep the private key on a hardware token. Otherwise it wouldn’t be private

That could never happen

Proton has a free tier and there's no AI in the email. The AI thing is totally separate, just don't use it.

& 5) a pony

Services cost *money*? Get out of here with that outrageous capitalist bullshit.

Which sometimes is fine! Some services will also allow you to be a freerider on the paying subscribers in exchange for a limited feature set and in hopes you’ll pay someday (that’s the Proton deal, I am pretty sure). Just you have to be aware you need to make some kind of deal!

Its sure they think their mother vanishes when she plays peek a boo too

"well if we can afford" lemme stop you right there, -we- can't afford shit, you are currently begging someone else to buy you something

lol, lmao, hahaha, oh no, oh no 😭