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Gob bless @theonion.com

If he knew we all came from a black woman in Africa

This article is seven years old, too!

It's no longer boomers, it's mostly genX people that failed to learn media literacy at the start of the computer era.

We all know the situation is bleak when even @theonion.com makes an article about children becoming edgelords now.

Hahaha! Yes! These folks that think they’re the superior blood lines… no, no, no you’re not.

Kept the bloodline pure and took that way too seriously

Heh... "Stankley"! True or not, it's perfect!

Cabbage Patch kid discovers meth, good god.

Holy crap….now that is very very scary 😱 😱😱

Population futures of the pale morphs 10-16% worldwide in about 50 years 😏

To what?

I hope his teeth bit him on the way out of his rear end.

With Redemption song playing in background .

Sad but true. Now with ex-Twitter and Meta platforms both spewing right-wing propaganda and hate speech, leaving an open laptop around kids needs to be added to CPS violations next to weapon access violations.

So political porn for children is OK on Facebook now?

This would be funny if it wasn’t so believable.

gofund.me/1851123b

Must be related to this little bitch 🤣🤣

MAGA militias…I wouldn’t be surprised.

That long?

Hitleresque Satire. Many a true word spoken in jest. @theonion.com

Brilliant!!!

Facebook Jugend

Look...it's the milky bar kid!!

Who needs Facebook? It's on XBOX

That's... Interesting. I'm not against teaching through edutainment for any age group but "with a reading age of 14" *really* made me raise an eyebrow, though it might just have to do with literacy issues in this country. Either way alarming

Crazy and prophetic.😆

It’s too close to the truth to be funny. The guy that took out a supermarket in my city was deep into replacement theory on discord.

This is satire now, but it's real the aim of the Trump administration...

This is not satire.

Wow

That sounds like A Ryan problem.

@papst-ny.bsky.social

I don't know, his eyes are pretty dark. I'm gonna need to see a genealogy report, maybe get some DNA.

Wtf?

9 minutes?

Onion has to fulfill its monthly quota of serious headlines per binding contract with InfoWars.

🤣

With the side of gamergate that the youtube channels i was watching were on, i am surprised i didn't go any deeper than "feminists can be a bit annoying sometimes" and I am glad that I was pulled out in that state rather than any later

Not funny. Consider: www.history.com/news/how-the...

Amazing that free speech only ever gets taken advantage of by the far right

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq6J... Or an AIPAC education

This is not Onion enough. Too close to the truth.

That is about as dangerous as his dad leaving his firearm out in the open. It will create yet another generation of racist thugs.

Turns out he was Jewish. Nevermind, false alarm!

There is nothing to protect

Oof. Dark. Dark!!!

It probably has happened at soke point.

😬

OMG. They truly are trying to do what Hitler did. How disgusting.

"And the purity of the world water cycle," he continued, 'when Übermensch/Elon-hench' rename the Gulf of Mexico, 'Gulf of Selfishes-propelled, Golf Carte Blanche'!"

Great

Exactly! Lol

You’re supposed to be a satire site.

i thought this was real until i saw the onion url, but then i realized "wow, things are so bad i almost thought an onion headline was real."

Ufff! To close to the truth.

City I live in borders Peabody so I really hope it is.

So hard to tell these days.

Agree, I just don't think they need a social media to learn that. I didn't get one until I was in high school and I still was could tell what was good or bad. But me knowing those things did come from how I was raised and what I was exposed too.

Sad

JFC‼️🤬

This looks like baby Homelander

I’m dying — why is this Hitlerjugend in my obscure hometown?

Yeah... And NOT funny!

taking place in Massachusetts is so true

Yeah, I haven't actively used Facebook in years other than putting stuff on a local nothing group and selling the occasional think on Marketplace (which is admittedly more effective than Kijiji in my experience).

I posted this on Facebook earlier funny as shit

God Bless The Onion, lol. I'm not sure I could make it through the next 4 years without you.

And his dad is Jewish.

MAGA!

-cries in this is too close to reality-

this happens with every social media

A guffawing back-slap has become a punch in the face.

Sad that this could actually true 😂

Poster Child of grooming.

Ouch

because its not owned by dickface whats his name anymore

😂😂😂😂😂

A typical Facebook comment …

Why do they not know that the Ayran's are Iranians? At best case scenario he would be Scandinavian and they aren't claiming that trash😂. Seems like the Germans have stolen something else🤬.

Wow 🤣

😆

This is also a skeet from the Onion

Are you familiar with The Onion?

Yeah, but they don’t know that. They won’t review history because the truth will shock them.

Someone needs to teach this child that the human race began in Africa. We are all descendants of an initial bloodline and related, no matter how far removed. Perhaps we should all start acting more like family…

Did you finish cleaning your room? Child: No, the plushies and I spent that time voting to unionise, and we demand a negotiated contract before you further exploit our labour *slams a piece of paper and a crayon onto the table*

Wife: "Dear,go see if the child is asleep." Me: " He told me the capitalist class is using the media to lie to the people and divide the working classes. He is woke."

This is litterally what twitter does lmao

Funny, not funny

This does not sound like your typical Onion Article ‼️😳 It’s to REAL‼️

only 6 minutes on X

WTF!?

Peabody MA. 🤌🧑‍🍳

I think I found him