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Don't give them more ideas please!!

That literally made me cry! Guess it would be funny if not for what we are actually witnessing with the corrupt evil Trump administration.

I can’t laugh at this one.

At Alcatraz

And the oofs just keep getting bigger.

This is just another terrifying Onion article. I used to chuckle at everything they did. Now its sad because they cannot come up with anything worse than what is happening. The last line was most chilling. I could see ICE saying they did reunify the family- in the execution chamber

Please, stop giving them ideas! Everything you've been saying lately has been coming true! It's like an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark! (The Twilight Zone being too sophisticated for those currently in power)

Ah, so *that’s* Trump’s plan for Alcatraz. I had been wondering.

Sweet baby boy

Trump wants to meltdown the Statue of Liberty to build the new DHS office building.

He gets someone to read it to him. Slowly. 🤣

Seems like some shit they would do, honestly.

This would be funny if it wasn't so close to the truth. I have no doubt we will see this very very soon.

And they're going to call it, Trump's center for tiny terrorists, maximum security and overextended daycare..

Ahh... so that's what Alcatraz is for...

MS 13 on his knuckles in crayon and the 3 is reversed

Honestly too plausible to be funny 😬

Might not be so bad, maybe they would have better luck potty training my toddler

This makes perfect sense as we have seen the destruction that a toddler like Donald trump has done in a very short time

And it’s been MY perpetual state of being since 2004 lol

It's literally the only way I sustain my sanity.

ABOUT TIME!! Dang kids destroying this country. 🫣💙

you forgot to add a photoshopped tattoo

The Onion used to be fake news.

Is this why he's reopening Alcatraz!

😥

They had too, they got tired of chasing kids that squeezed through the bars in a regular cell. Trump got furious and demanded that a new supermax prison would be built with a 10 billion dollar budget with work proceeding 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Trump stated'' No one defies me''

This, in the comedy trade, is what is called gallows humour.

It's gotten so The Onion is indistinguishable from real news sources...

Fewthy skwews!

That title was already taken by a White House documentary.

Sometimes your jokes are corny. They're efforting. This isn't funny because it's too untrue. Please take my criticism with a grain of salt. You guys do have some good ones. Even great ones. I just tell it like it is.

Trump: these are infamous members of the K4 and K5 gangs

I came here to write this too.

That'll learn 'em....loudy little lawbreakers, prolly eating and selling illegal "candy" too. You can't be too soft on these criminals....

It clearly says MS-3 on his knuckle tattoos

It's about what is going to happen. Bet he puts them in the new rebuilt Alcatraz the schumbag wants.

Yeah let's also have a place for kids at ALCATRAZ too when that opens back up

Funny. I don't see supermax detention on this list www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-disc...

It's only a matter of time.

Only toddlers with MS-13 tats

What's next? A toddler chain gang at the local kickball court.

I swear you guys are just half a step in front of reality.

DMX started the same way!

You forgot to photoshop the MS-13 tattoo.

Finally, some affordable childcare

worst of the worst tattooed tots attend SuperMax Kindergarten, where the kids make blocks, not play with them

This is also prophecy

I'd laugh at the satire if it weren't entirely possible under our current administration.

Don't give them ideas.

I thought that this was a satire site!

It's going to take a while to inflate a bounce house that big.

😩 these are too real now

Which dictator agreed to host said detention center in their country?

Stop giving them ideas! Haha

Cinco de Mayo riots today in Cellblock B

😹

💔 We can joke about almost anything but the children... 😔

Stop with ICE. Use SS and/or Trump's Gestapo instead.

Is ICE going to give in to their sleeping habits?

I live about 10 miles from ADX Florence. This hits...scary.

I’m realizing that the ridiculous is not so sublime when the unthinkable becomes a possibility.

To be fair, the "yard" is still not as tough as the playground.

Stop giving them ideas.

I believe that is the official MS-13 polo shirt.

MS4 year olds really the terror Trump claims?

Are they opening one for toddlers?

What a sweet beautiful boy!

sorry Onion... not funny.

Oh good.. how dare that child steal my heart !!

I certainly hope they have a super secure wing for the kids with stage 4 cancer. The ones with nothing to lose can get muy loco. (Please know that I say this in strictly thought provoking satire.)

I'm going to need you to stop being right.

I'm expecting the same headline next week from New Republic

That kid has dead eyes. Throw the book at him!

here's hoping this one can go more than 6 hours without being defictionalized!

Please don't be giving them any ideas... 😵‍💫

Whose this toddler That I see on the screen She has cancer and is like to die Born right here in US soil she has been But to Honduras she'll be forced to fly I voted for eggs I voted for eggs youtu.be/YDJdnOGc0cY

I keep telling you, Onion, stop giving them ideas.

You know? The way this country is careening to failed statehood those of us whom ICE has deported to the Salvadoran gulag may end up being the lucky ones.

Dark onion again

These are kids with 35 or 40 dolls. These are not good kids. All those pencils could be weapons

Inmates accepted via UPS and Fedex shipping only.

Because they say it as they see it, which makes them a criminal.

Stop, it hurts when I laugh.

Put those little criminals to work polishing the inside of 45 millimeter shell casings

About time! El Salvador is to soft for them. Trump is negotiating for half price for toddlers.

You know how far we are failing and falling when horrific satire like this has an increasing ring of truth.

How many children have and will simply disappear into slavery and abuse?

Hillary Clinton sponsored the legislation: "We need to get these super-predators behind bars in many new prisons across this free land."

Those big brown eyes 😭

Renewing Alcatraz starts to make sense

That will teach them for being born here while their parents are living under work visas!

This toddler has shit in three different pairs of pants and the community sandbox in under a 12 hour period with 0 remorse. He also shoved the head of a Lego Policeman up his nose. And taught other toddlers to do the same.

I'm still wondering where the 2000 Mia kids went last time fat shitler was in office,,he deported the parents and kept the kids,,and somehow misplaced 2000 kids,,start checking his rich pedophile friends and their bank accounts

This hits too close to home.

I, uh, I'm not sure if any of this is funny anymore. Is satire dead??

Where are the poorly MSPainted gang tattoos?

It’s funny because it is legitimately true…

Yeah it's alcatraz

"These are the baddest of the baddest toddlers" added ICE boss "This is Quick draw McGraw, he can sketch a pistol in under 2 minutes".

Those fucking assholes! Oh My God! Gods little children! They are going to pay dearly for what they are doing!!!😡😡😡😡

They have deported children. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Accidental journalism

All because the kid wanted an extra cookie after an exhausting recess and took it when the teacher's back was turned. ICE's take: "All the cookies belong to Trump."

Don’t underestimate those MS-U13s

Given your solid record of being correct, I am now terrified.

ICE uses stringent criteria to identify only the M13-linked toddlers

I don't know if this is funny anymore. TBH

It's funny cause it's true

Some prisoners have gang tattoos

Toddler Mafia is no joke. Leave a loaded weapon laying around and find out.

STOP. GIVING. HOMAN. IDEAS!!!!!

You wouldn’t believe what he’d do for a juice box…

You have become an oracle now.

Don't be giving them any more ideas. They're certainly capable of this.

ONION! FFS, STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS! I STG YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE

Probably on his list FR tho

In fairness, he's giving off that "I'll shank you in the shower" vibe.