Angie!

One way you know Dolly Parton lived life the right way: I don’t think anyone’s going to get fired for accurately quoting Dolly Parton today.

Deeply saddened to learn of the loss of my dear friend Satan, the Prince of Lies. Though we often disagreed about matters such as the appropriate role of torture in the afterlife, I will most remember how his quick wit and affable nature made our weekly golf outings a ritual. He will be missed.

BREAKING: Lindsey Graham’s sudden death reveals everyone’s wake-up time on Sundays.

To opt out of Meta’s new AI features, click the 3 lines on the right side of your screen. Scroll to the bottom. Scroll further somehow. Draw blood on the eve of the full moon. Tell a lie to the faceless man who lives in dreams. Offer yourself in servitude to the darkness. Toggle the “off” switch.

“But the bigger problem is how much of the media of ‘the left’ is dominated by men who appear to have no understanding of sexual abuse or intimate partner violence, but do have a pretty hefty sexist streak that they either aren’t aware of or don’t care to remedy.” YES @juliedicaro.bsky.social

You do not have to give people “due process” before you choose not to vote for them. You can just be like “oh word the guy who wrote rape apologia and had allegations just got another serious allegation? Guess he doesn’t need to be my senator.”

No—the people “at fault for Platner” are, first, Platner, and second everyone who made excuses for Nazi tattoos, followed by those who made excuses for lying about Nazi tattoos.

youtu.be/3wxyN3z9PL4?...

You can’t own anything physical anymore, everything is digital, you can’t own anything digital now, storage is too expensive, you cant stream anything because they took it off the service once their parent company got bought out, you can’t get a McFlurry because the machine is broken

Weird how this never applies to the Second Amendment.

I’ve been teaching myself how to decorate cookies with royal icing and I’m pretty proud of these

Expanding the Supreme Court is the moderate position.

Know what TV show actually wouldn’t get made today? The Twilight Zone. Half of these fuckin’ episodes are about fascism.

Not my best work, but felt like this was what's on the menu for Bsky today.

Lauren Southern's story of being raped by Andrew Tate is sad on so many levels. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...

my firm take is that any man loudly worried about fertility rates is a fucking creep

hero

Pretty cool how one side gets to cheat and the other isn’t allowed to win fairly

Flyers Fans Not Sure  Whether Gritty  Supposed To Be Eating Live Bird https://theonion.com/flyers-fans-not-sure-whether-gritty-supposed-to-be-eating-live-bird/

I can't believe this. @normcharlatan.bsky.social you're a Minnesota Legend, my man.

This is not the time for wild speculation about what happened. It’s time to bet on Kalshi about what happened

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

The fact that Mamdani just seems like a cheerful normal guy who's policies are things like "we're going to tax second homes to fund pothole repairs" or whatever and yet this generates panicked responses like "This is basically Stalin's great purge turned up to eleven" is... telling. It tells things.

This should be a no-brainer. For Christ's sake STOP Posting obvious AI-generated political cartoons! Bluesky is awash in this shit these days. There are tons of real live human political cartoonists here, posting terrific work. Repost those. If you're unclear, here's how to spot AI slop:

Everyone please welcome CBS News Immigration Analyst Viktor Orban.

(sort of scrolling past this a little too fast) go mets

something that wrinkles my brain every time I remember it is the fact that total eclipses are only possible on earth because the moon and sun appear to be the same size in our sky, due to the insanely, astronomically unlikely fluke that the moon is 400x smaller than the sun but 400x closer to us.

I can't stop laughing at this post. It's perfect.

Having a dog is fun because you can sing songs to them about how gross they smell and they just love the attention

Happy Confederate Surrender Day from Minnesota where we still have your goddamn flag and we’re not giving it up. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/28th_Vi...

Oh yeah definitely the one thing sci fi and fantasy has been missing is the male gaze

Donald Trump must be removed from office for threatening war crimes and genocide. Speaker Johnson: bring the House back into session. Invoking the 25th Amendment and impeachment must be on the table, but Congress should also move on a War Powers resolution to stop Trump.

Multiple things may be true: 1) Trump's threats are monstrous and should be denounced. 2) He appears desperate and is using these threats to try to coerce Tehran to reach a deal. 3) The danger of further US escalation—with the risks to Iranians and probability of counter-escalation—is real

You are a senator.

"Moon's haunted"

was just reminded that tomorrow is april fool’s day and especially this year can we just… not, please