Ben Allain 🥌

Are you fucking kidding me

Now is the time to care about everyone, not “once we win” The time to care about everyone is always always always now

Spectrum Allocation xkcd.com/3307/

This is the funniest thing I've seen today, possibly ever

i wish baseball teams could resolve their differences without resorting to baseball

People will tell you that it is fun to be angry about sports. That it’s an outlet, and a way to let off steam. I’m telling you that sports anger isn’t a release valve. It’s a heaping shovel of coal into the furnace. If you are angry about sports, you’re probably angry about everything else.

1. Identify the current member of the U.S. Cabinet who appeared on MTV's The Real World: Boston in 1997, and later competed in Log Rolling and Speed Climbing at the ESPN Great Outdoor Games in the early 2000s. IN A SANE WORLD, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO. #LL110 #bestwronganswers

vote for medicare for all and you get way more than that

hello im the CEO and i can’t do anything without the support of the simpering vizier that lives in the computer. in order to keep collecting an offensively meager paycheck you too must consult the vizier regularly. don’t worry he has lots of uses other than just hopefully putting you out of a job

2 - @denversummitfc.bsky.social has recorded as many wins over Gotham FC this regular season as all other #NWSL teams combined (2). Kryptonite.

Geology Class xkcd.com/3292/

Trade xkcd.com/3290/

Social media often feels like you're at a loud party talking about zebras and someone wanders up drunk going 'I couldn't help overhearing you were talking about zebras, have you seen that film' and after 8 minutes it turns out they mean The Lion King and they're thinking of hyenas.

Welcome to the commercial break. There are only three products left you can buy: drug, gambling, or car insurance

"We should never forget that Dolly Parton chose not to be a billionaire."

Some people are so universally beloved that I think we shouldn’t be told when they die. Let us figure it out eventually but never receive confirmation. We should always be able to idly speculate that somehow there’s a chance they *could* still be alive

If you’re not potty trained by now you don’t get to be in the pool with the rest of us and we’re not gonna have a civilized debate about it while the water fills up with your filth.

As someone who lives in a major city and whose house was smashed into by a car roughly 12 hours ago, I concur

Professional Manipulator Of Journalists Nice And Accommodating To Journalist, Says Journalist

hooooooooooooool

The legend Robin Lopez

WaPo making same claim that’s been disproven again & again. Who do they imagine these people are, willing to pay the price of abandoning home, friends, lives they’ve built. “Sorry, kids, we’re leaving the only home you’ve ever known & all our friends to pay 7% state tax instead of 8%.”

First they came for the ex-diplomats living overseas with a multi-million dollar inheritance, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a whiny baby

Musk should be forced to use his personal wealth to clean it up. Clean the moon, you dead eyed haddock-faced bitch. What do you mean it's too hard? you were going to have a city living on Mars as soon as 8 years ago. Do it by Tuesday.

That's what taxes are, man. That's the definition of taxes. "You are subsidizing things you might never use" man shut the fuck up. My taxes currently subsidize like oil company exec private jets, you think I'm upset at low-income people eating inexpensive bananas?

When the Siberian Bacteria with Stem Placenta Baby Drips $165,000 hits

Good-faith concern on this issue would be going, "hmm, professional sports leagues should probably have some standards in place to ensure trans competitors aren't getting an unfair advantage," googling for 5 minutes, realizing every sports league already has those standards and dropping it.

It is genuinely bizarre that we’ve become acclimatized to right wingers throwing a tantrum every time a black person (particularly a black woman) is cast in something, but are also supposed to pretend that this is not racism but related to some other substantive concern.

LMFAO. Personally I feel this says less about his gardening experience (which is clearly zero) and is more telling about the obvious fact that the guy has never shopped at or eaten a tomato from a store Grocery store tomatoes are GARBAGE But he's all "look at me and how relatable I am"

this is the best concert featuring Madonna, the Muppets, BTS, and Shakira sponsored by Topps that I've ever seen

Four quarters and a halftime show we did it baby

I want this in and/or around my mouth

being in the DSA is fun because you get to spend most of your time helping people with social anxiety canvass for democratic school board candidates and then go online to see people with blue wave emojis in their bios compare you to pol pot

Not saying that game was stolen from Egypt but it is now on display at museum in London.

That’s what happens when you get rid of the department of defense

haha, thats a great post. unfortunately you phrased it in a way that allowed me, a moron, to misunderstand it

America was never going to truly become a Soccer Nation until we strong-armed FIFA in a completely corrupt transaction that benefits us at the expense of the concept of fairness. So, congrats to us!

Goddamn I love some good old fashioned American corruption

Hello baseball fans. Have you considered soccer?

I'm still buzzing. This goal is unbelievable. Maybe the most situationally important goal in I'm gonna say USA World Cup history. Also, non-soccerheads don't know, but real ones know -- it is SO HARD to score from here. Over a wall of giants, under the bar, from 19 yards? Gtfoh Malik Tillman you GEM

South American ref with a German last name setting 10 minutes of stoppage time: “this is definitely NOT for my grandfather”

People say America can't accomplish anything, that we've stopped dreaming big. Well, today, after *years* of work, the combined resources of the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches (as well as the media) came together to prevent some girls in Idaho from playing high school softball.

i cannot stress enough how much this man should not be the democratic presidential nominee