Gary Muppet

57 minutes until sunset, driving down a gravel road and hoping the deer stay clear as he pretends there's no work in the morning.

I don’t know any of you and you are my closest friends, so you see my dilemma

Taking my glasses off so I can't see bad news coming

I have the kitchen pantry of a grandmother raised during the great depression *flirting*

I forgot my pen today so I have to use a terrible work pen like a pleb

Check out my deep dive into the greatest cult musical of all time.....

Hello, EPA? I have some feelings. How do I properly dispose of them?

*taps hi hat until morale improves*

Warning: October moon

I've got friends in all the right places I know what they want and I know they don't want me stay fralexander.github.io/bluesquare/

Hate when someone figures out my password and I have to rename my cat

Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy, but isn’t a selfie

Whale, singing: [the nastiest dirty sex talk imaginable] Me, at the spa: ah, so relaxing

Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy but isn't a selfie.

A lot of what's wrong with me would be fixed by hugging a baby giraffe

Sunday music. An oldie but a goodie.

please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s t

THIS IS ME: 🐿️ height: 5.7" age: 3 billion yo sign: "NO BIRDS" guilty food pleasure: no guilt in food pleasure💅 tattoos: yes season: marquesas or palau or maybe all-stars color: 💖 holiday: an island or England flower: honeysuckle and roses

THIS IS ME: ▪︎ height-2.5’ ▪︎ age-50 ▪︎ sign-☮️ ▪︎ guilty food pleasure- peanut butter m&ms ▪︎ tattoos-2 ▪︎ fave season- October ▪︎ fave color-🧡 ▪︎ fave holiday- 🎃 ▪︎ fave flower-🌻

Unfortunately, Gary hasn’t known what he drove or where he parked since the days when he had a car with a Jack-in-the-Box antenna ball.

Sneaking a fully grown Saguaro cactus into the movies

Energy crises. The gas station was all out of the orange can of Monster and Gary had to choose from the 2,546 other brands and flavors.

Goldfish crackers should be goldfish flavored

Sorry I'm running late for the meeting but I was trying to find my enthusiasm

Voted most likely to ignore the advice of a Force ghost.

That acoustic playlist for anxious pets settled the dog and made Gary a better driver

life is all about balance for example yesterday I hiked to the top of a mountain and today I ate 6 donuts

If you see this, post something Blue! 🔵

If you see this, post something Blue! 🔵

*somehow returned*

In hell you only get to eat circus peanuts and drink Tab. The piña colada song is on an infinite loop

The lights went out everywhere except in the abandoned cubicle, where a dusty old IBM downloaded its 666th Windows update. 🎃

As long as you keep the cookies with raisins separate and well labeled, we don’t have to have any problems here.

Nobody actually owns a "tractor." You own a group of parts that break & need replacing whenever you need to use your "tractor."

if you’re charging $40 for your haunted house i better be able to fuck a ghost or at the very least make pottery with one.