Marly

If it isn’t my old nemesis, lack of financial security.

$40 for a damn concert T-shirt. What the fuck. Am I 25 again? But it was really cool.....

Usually I would never presume to disagree with Miss Manners, but she wrote "feeling surly is no excuse for acting surly*" and I want to know what better reason is there? (*Miss Manners Minds Your Business, 2013)

Of all the senses, adventure is my favorite

I like when tv shows just go ahead and have the character point to a spot on the map.

trying on my person who eats all the chips costume

Update My cat is snoring upside down, holding my foot. He is still in my spot. I'm being held hostage but it's adorable.

Good luck JS Bach usually helps, i like his solo arrangements the best. Just enough busy to distract the other stuff

My sis and I are wearing moisturizing face masks. She has taken photos, which I assume will be used for blackmail purposes.

SOMEONE'S GOING TO GET HURT IN THIS SITUATION AND ITS NOT GOING TO BE ME *its totally going to be me

There's a guy you see featured on social who asks the most obscure questions about countries across the globe. You can tell by his long fake-sorry noooo, how much he loves it when random people he asks get such wrong answers.

In a parallel universe I’ve already gotten a job which I continue to work at despite having won the lottery because I find it so damn rewarding.

dear god who designed this monstrous new notifications tab

[radio ad voice] You'll be drooling, baby I'm not fooling. Come on down to the grand opening of my new Led Zeppelin-themed gyro & falafel bar, Whole Lotta Pita. A-way down inside, the Santa Anita Mall. Level two next to JCPenny.

Back in the day you could look at the internet for up to an hour without getting mad.

Back on my shit* again *ice cream sandwich

A pet grizzly was a terrible idea.

I’m just like Icarus but not the high flying aspirant but the unmotivated, sad one flying directly into a rogue wave.

learning chemistry by posting nonsense jokes and getting corrected

There it is

What do you like most about Autumn? 1. colors & flavors 2. sweater season 3. strong gravy 4. darkness, my old friend

Trying to relax my brain. I worked so hard today that I'll probably see numbers in my sleep. (I know, not funny or particularly interesting but pure truth).

Next time, just get in. If it's a live duck, you'll quickly know. If it's a dead duck, depends on the length of the drive.

The said not to ask, and the first thing you did was ask!

Not to brag but I know a thing or two about fuckin' shit up.

I walked into this insult and i can’t for the life of me, remember why.

Me: When I post, I get nervous no one will think it’s funny My Therapist: We aren’t going to be good at everything, Fiona

Sometimes I worry that laying down in my free time isn’t a hobby

The moon out here dressed like she's not going home alone tonight

Me: Can I catch a ride with you? Person: Sure. As long as you don't ask me about the duck in the truck. Me: *perplexed head tilt* Live, dead, or rubber? P: *warning tone* Mar! Rubber. Long story. M: *long silence, torn* But...but... *sigh* okay.

butterfly that metamorphosis’s back into a caterpillar (i am out of posts and becoming a reply guy)