Ned ✓⃝

@touchtunes.bsky.social your new pricing sucks. What’s with the decimal pricing? Why is there surge pricing when there’s one other song is in the queue?

Nebraska v Oregon be like

I’ve literally been 200ft underground in a cave. What happened with Minnesota United? Did they win?

FINAL: Colorado 2, #MNUFC 2. Colorado gifted the Loons a goal with a terrible back pass, gave them a 30-minute man advantage with a stupid red card, and scored one of the most incredible own goals ever. And the Loons still couldn't win the game.

Okay so now Colorado has given #MNUFC a man advantage with a hilarious red card, and now given them a tying goal with one of the funniest own goals I've ever seen. Minnesota does not want to win this game as much as Colorado wants them to win it

Minnesota is playing so bad now that the announcers have to explain what set pieces are to us. We used to be the Kings of Set Pieces.

Josh Allen finally gets his first overtime win!

"partied in Dubai with two fugitives from U.S. justice" is one of the three least-bad things about Ken Paxton

It’s been a day.

Nebraska used to be a football state. Now we are a fútbol state. Onto the next one. GO UNION OMAHA!

No lie, I might watch the Matchbox movie on AppleTV based on that retro ad alone.

The entire regime is deviants and criminals.

Playoffs = Clinched. 7th time in 7 seasons. And we're just getting started. #OneMeansAll

Um. It was just months ago the DOJ claimed "become ungovernable" was an antifa slogan worthy of conspiracy charges. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

when u nut but they keep flickin

2:05 pm 2:21 pm @atrupar.com

Gotta Bike It™️ Kelvin. Yeboah.

Left a Union Omaha match with Minnesota United 0-1. Arrived home with 7+ extra time with the score 3-2. The game ended 3-3. Just. WTF. I felt so many emotions so quickly. At least both points left with 1, but Minnesota NEEDED that extra 2.

One way you know Dolly Parton lived life the right way: I don’t think anyone’s going to get fired for accurately quoting Dolly Parton today.

(1/3) With Dolly Parton's passing, I want to put good words on the wind for her. Feel free to quote reply with your own. Dolly became the single largest donor for the Moderna COVID vaccine because of a chance encounter and friendship with a Vanderbilt researcher Dr. Naji Abumrad years earlier. She

If I had a nickel for every time Minnesota put up five goals in their first game after a CSO's exit, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Kelvin needed that. The Loons needed that. We all needed that. Now let's keep it going against Orlando!

Hey Jon Ossoff, you got Melania to come out of hibernation by mentioning Natalie Harp. Can you get Mitch McConnell to reappear? 

Loons dropped 6 pts to the two worst teams in MLS, which is basically impossible. Team is lost with the ball. Then they get frustrated and out of position. Lack last seasons’s discipline. Then concede. And on and on it goes. Bad team. A slog to watch. Coaches and players just out of ideas. #MNUFC

Still emerging from a post-world cup hibernation, but Minnesota United has really fallen off. A middling squad, and one without a clear identity. Hard to say what the ideal Loons win would look like as built. CSO’s in his third season - should be much further along.

At least Minnesota United ended their season early right as football season has begun.

Taking shots of Malört for every goal Minnesota United allowed tonight was a bad choice.

see a ranger, post a ranger

If you missed the solar eclipse, this is what it looked like:

It’s crazy to me this isn’t a daily refrain from Democrats.

Losing to the baby you bathed sounds like a Greek myth

Brutal photo caption from The Guardian: “Gianni Infantino carefully explains to Donald Trump that he is not part of the Spanish national team.”

the World Cup final will be between two teams that Cape Verde played even through 90 minutes

i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious

Awaiting Trump’s statement on how he is going to save the taxpayers’ money by stacking Mitch and Lindsey into one casket.

In a shocking breach of Republican protocol, Lindsey Graham has informed the press and the public that he’s dead.

This "tweet" from a year ago has been deleted by its author. I'm posting here now on BlueSky as a reminder and as a public service, for anyone, should they ever need it. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

England France England France England France

At least I got to sing Wonderwall

Trump Confirms: Accepting a Flying Bribery Palace Made Him Less Safe emptywheel.net/2026/07/11/t...

MARCO RUBIO: “Let me explain this in simple English: Iran is run by lunatics, religious fanatic lunatics.’ IRAN: “Let me explain this in simple English: The United States is run by lunatics, religious fanatic lunatics.”

Look out for the CUM back next World Cup!

The cashier at the dispensary asked if my name was really Ned and went on to say that he only knew of one other Ned and that he was a really good dude who always had your back. Captain Ned from Draynor Village from Runescape 🤣 That’s a new one for sure.