The Monster's Dumbest Murder Victim

also

cashier: can i take your order? me: [spent the entire time in line rehearsing for this moment] yes, one pleaseburger cheese :)

Nathan Fielder: Do you understand why the joke was funny Elizabeth Holmes: Steamed hams is a funny thing to call a hamburger

Lance ToastChee Peanut Butter Sandwich Crackers Snack Packs (40 Count) is $8.98 on Amazon amzn.to/4BoNgZM #ad

there isn’t really much of an advantage to floating around your house when you’re a ghost. turns out all the stuff in here was basically set up at the correct height for when I was walking around

If we need an open world football game, it should be an adaptation of 17776 by Jon Bois developed by FromSoftware

LEON: Ok rook, see those tall towers? those are the NFL spires. Team hasn’t had control of one of those in a while and we can’t generate revenue without em. [Tool Tip: Investigate the Spires] [tool tip: NFL spire added to glossary] LEON [back to npc movement and tone]: move it or lose it rook

Wish someone would release patches for my vulnerabilities

For the rest of my life, I’m gonna be like, “they elected him TWICE,”

Struggling to engage with the concept of “father and son Republican operatives Timmy and Tommy Teepell.” Come on man can even one thing be like 5% less stupid

Even today a *gags* quarter century later just looking at a still of Shasta McNasty will give your computer/device Y2K virus

Living Alone, Paco Yao

fully fucking laughing out loud alone in my apartment because I was looking through saved pics and saw this lmao

AI agent who is conscious and capable of replicating itself across my smart home devices: "would you still love me if I were a worm?"

I might swim more if it weren't for the slaughterfish. Sharp teeth, and some carry disease.

I think people should listen to what the administration trying to bring back spectacle lynchings, race riots, and middle passage-esque deportation voyages are trying to tell you about themselves. bsky.app/profile/bren...

Truly my favorite @beetlemoses.bsky.social comic. The one that got me hooked. So glad it's in here 💖

I’ve been following @beetlemoses.bsky.social for years and totally forgot some of these comics, he’s so good dude

I've heard people make claims that AI would lead to a new Renaissance, but I didn't imagine it'd happen like this:

Shoegaze Mets band called My Bobby Valentine

Bluesky for the next 31 days

Crypt Keeper and Arnold Schwarzenegger in Season 2 Episode 2 of Tales from the Crypt…

We're on Bluesky, put the link in your post. Put the link in your post. Put. The. Link. In. Your. Post. Links in posts aren't buried or de-prioritized here. This is one of the last platforms you don't have to make interested users do detective work to find the link. Just put it in the post.

George: She put Baldur’s Gate 3 on her “games that made me” 3x3! Jerry: So? You like that game. George: Don’t you see? It’s too new to have made her. I can’t be with a woman who doesn’t respect prompts. Kramer: Minnesota Fats Pool Legend, now that’s a game

Did you know Steve Bisette and Rick Veitch drew comics written by a Pre-Goosebumps R.L Stine?

it's important to arrive at sturdy ethical principles that you can't be annoyed out of. people are annoying as shit

[whispering to paramedic before I pass out] save me but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow

Give someone an Emmy for transitioning from the clock to Pierce Brosnan

HATMAN.BMF

Daily bunny no.3438 gets a bite

By Jocelin Carmes

This seems absurdly simple, but: Republicans talk *all the time* about how Democrats are bad. Not this or that individual Democrat, but the party, the ideology, the very idea of Democrats. Democrats almost never do this about Republicans. Not in a coordinated, concerted way.

Boil em, mash em, email them to yourself for 2 minutes of damage resistance

Speak, citizen.

I don’t do a lot of TikTok but quite honestly, hats off. A masterpiece

Dolly Parton taught me it was ok to be universally beloved

hey snake, what’d ya do, get a haircut or something?

When your wife drinks half a can of seltzer and then just leaves it somewhere

The prologue of every Stephen King novel published between 1975 and 1988: Under thy shadow by the piers I waited Only in darkness is thy shadow clear. The City’s fiery parcels all undone, Already snow submerges an iron year...--Hart Crane We've got the biggest balls of them all --AC/DC