timmim

It's easy to laugh at Liz Truss

What did YOU do with your extra hour? I invented a new pasta (temperamatitilli - small pencil sharpeners), made a sculpture of John Nettles and reanimated a pterodactyl

Here's an idea for editors, let's do a little roleplay. Writer: "I have a contrarian take!" Editor: "Is it fucking stupid?" Writer: "Well yes, but it bucks the consensus. No one else is saying it." Editor: "Is that because the consensus is correct?" Writer: "... yes but... " <hang up>

And happy seventh anniversary to that headline (which I must have nicked off of @apiln.bsky.social, surely)

"Captain's log, stardate 41153.7… sorry, 41153.6! I forgot we put the clocks back! Anyway, we have extended our exploration of the moons of…"

Prints available in my shop of this one from last year. The perfect Christmas gift for the philosophically-inclined office wall . Limited edition, numbered and signed giclee art print - link to shop in bio. #philosophy

The Nobel committee could do the funniest thing in the history of marriage.

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my debilitating phobias

Very strong winds now, and I'm worried about the shed in my garden. I've never seen it before.

Due to reverse engineering works, all bus services on Sunday will be replaced by trains.

Four brothers went to war against Hitler. Three were killed. The fourth survived, and his grandson, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, is the president of Ukraine. Zelensky comes from a family that fought tyrants: Trump negotiates with them while demanding concessions from their victims.

We are spending Ben Delo's £36m donation on producing a new propaganda newspaper, The Reformer. Then we are spending Chris Harborne's £36m donation on the postage bill when everyone sends it back to us one page at a time using the Freepost addresses below:

Burnham urges officials to come up with more radical options for Thames Water. Here are some suggestions. Enforce laws. Prosecute execs for harming health, environment. Cancel licence to operate. Put TW into special administration. Nationalise at knockdown price. Apply to all water companies.

10 DAYS TO GO Thames Water's creditors are meeting on Thursday 29th October to approve yet another bailout (£2.4 billion this time) at the expense of their 16 million so-called "customers" @andyburnham.bsky.social now's your moment Time to take back Thames Water weownit.org.uk/act-now/tham...

Tell Andy Burnham to block the Thames Water bailout before Thursday 29th October. Remove the licence, TAKE IT BACK Andy Burnham. Sign the petition: vist.ly/5p396

We already have flying cars. They're called helicopters. They're really expensive and there are good reasons you have to have a pilot license and work with air traffic control to fly them. Putting jets on a sedan is not going to result in a better vehicle or transportation experience in any way.

Both popped up in facebook memories today. On a related note, happy 10th birthday (plus one day) to this

If Putin stops fighting, the war ends. If Zelensky stops fighting then his country will be occupied, leaders murdered, language banned, businesses stolen, children kidnapped. That's what happens in Russian-occupied Ukraine.

goddammit, just realized the reason we need to identify stop signs and school buses and crosswalks to confirm we’re not robots is to train the ai in driverless cars

👏👇

me: [advancing my knight] how much to build a hotel on this square? grim reaper: first, as I explained, that's not how the horse moves

If you'd told me 30 years ago that in 2026 America would be a fascist enemy of democracy and Russia's ally against Europe, I'd have had questions for you. Like, how did you get here from the future? What do you mean, invest in Apple? THAT Donald Trump? Holy shit.

Let's celebrate #ColumbusDay by walking into someone's house and telling them we live there now 😂

It’s long past time for the U.S. to get a new president.

Still think that filthy scum #Trump isn't a Russian asset? President Zelensky is a better, greater man than that traitorous halfwit could ever even dream of being. Slava Ukraini! www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Nailed it. 🔨

Bees traditionally use chocolate to insulate their homes. And that, my friends, is the origin of the Crunchie

It seems remarkably easy to chase American bombers out of Britain. Maybe all you need is a clown car and a person holding a sign saying "BOO". Very encouraging.

In the past, I used to check my hair every six weeks or so to decide when to go to the hairdresser. I now check my eyebrows.

Hate it when my friend traps me under a cup then slides a piece of paper under it and throws me outside. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get into your house?

“It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” — Dolly Parton

Brb finding a rat to tickle…

ngl "2 doggers, a lad out on the rob for diesel, a fly tipper and an actual terrorist get swept up into an international incident" would be a really funny premise for a slice of life British comedy

big pink castle

Absolutely love this from @jessharwoodart.bsky.social that appeared in the @australia.theguardian.com

Just right-clicked on my dog to view his properties but then I accidentally converted him to a PDF. Now I can't convert him back unless I sign up for a subscription. Does anyone know any free PDF-to-dog converters that aren't full of malware?

I caught the wife secretly eating at night. Supporting her through eating disorder treatment. My actual fess is that I've adopted her 'recipe' of tipping gravy and grated cheddar and mushy peas into a bag of crisps and eating it with a spoon. Like a poutine made at a chippy.

Then left again, next left, then take another left, and one more, then left again, then hang left, and again…

It was a bad idea leaving me to my own devices. What am I supposed to do with all these devices??

“You call it United Queendom, Britishland, Londontown, they call it sometimes England. It's got more names than any other place in the world. So many names. I call it Susan.”

That horrible sinking feeling you get when someone announces: "The children have written a little play for us, and now they’d like to perform it, so can everyone come into the living room please," is exactly what happens when you know Donald Trump is about to address the UN.

Moby Dick by French artist Gérard DuBois,

My phone sends me a notification whenever there's an owl nearby. I don't remember asking it to do that and I don't know how to make it stop. I tried throwing my phone into a ravine but it just reappeared in my hand moments later. The owl notifications are growing more frequent