tommycap.bsky.social

Real America

this is like something that would happen to Tracy Jordan

i recommend mlb to anyone who’s a baseball fan. if you happen to be familiar with names like jair jurrjens or kevin seitzer, guess which league they played in? mlb. they have a league website and they’ve got brick and mortar stadiums all over the country you can see in person. it’s a legit operation

lmao

Welp, looks like we're teaching the LinkedIn grindset people what The Onion is the hard way.

What does it say about this country that that the kind of open, rank bigotry Trump administration officials regularly express towards black immigrants apparently has no social cost because of the number of Americans who quietly agree or don't care.

when I was a kid my dad could have kicked my ass because he was an adult. now I could kick my dad’s ass because he’s old. but there was one day between then and now when we were exactly evenly matched. the father/son convergence

my beloved girlfriend has an inexplicable attraction to grotesque, almost supernaturally weird old men. guys who look like the adults from a roald dahl story. fellas who act like they were perhaps recently animals turned human through some unnatural bargain with the fey. not me though

I would like to say something: American canto is the stupidest fucking name for a book about a reporter sleeping with a guy who looks and sounds like wile e coyote after he gets run over by an 18 wheeler

"Dasha got dropped by Gersh," I say to the elerly woman sitting next to me on the bus. "Can you believe that?" She empties an entire can of mace directly into my face instantly.

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

ive decided that i genuinely do not understand the current right wing ideology at all. no idea what you could get out of it that would make you feel good about yourself or the direction of the world you occupy. just really bizarre stuff

I can also picture Skattebo repeatedly saying his own name like Pikachu

that last one about wrecking his car outside a Hooter's fucking took me out

Murdering CEOs isn’t going to solve anything articles from the same people who said marching in the streets against cop violence isn’t going to solve anything and protesting genocide isn’t going to solve anything.

It's almost like most americans really despise for profit healthcare and that a presidential candidate who made single payer one of his core policies and really hammered the message home could win in a landslide if his campaign wasn't throttled by his own party on purpose

the college football playoff selection show is so good. it's like if the news began with 25 minutes of anchors talking to each other like "i'm looking forward to reporting the news. it will be very interesting to find out what the news will be"

It's clear that vast numbers of people in this country despise the predatory healthcare system we have set up to enrich the few at the expense of 95% of our well being. You would think some Democrats would pick up on this and run with it but they will not because they are paid by the same predators.

A real telling thing is when someone frames the left's causes and concerns as being "edgy" or "cool" or "larping" or "pure" or whatever. Not only do you not believe in a better world yourself you can't even imagine someone else believing in it. A kind of Hell if you ask me.

LIBERAL: LOL. Imagine if Hitler was trans. He’d be even worse LIBERAL: (after one gently-worded bit of pushback) Throughout history, comedy has been an important tool in the delegitimization of authoritarian regimes [1]. Even in the depths of the Warsaw Ghetto [2], humor played a significant role in

The fact a man who posts things like this is among the richest, most powerful people in history has seriously eroded my relationship to reality and is driving me inexorably towards a psychotic break

He genuinely bought into the things people said about him that he had bought the PR to get them to say in the first place.

Chekhov, starting the 3rd act:

where is Neil deGrasse Tyson to explain that it’s technically impossible to hold space

found this months ago and have been dwelling on its implications ever since

2025 white house cabinet meeting

the big tech world was supposed to “save the world” but all they can do is make ai generated images like this shit that will drain freshwater lakes in a couple of decades

Waking up my sleeping parents like Bam Margera to tell them the latest on the Sam Altman/OpenAI story. "The scuttlebutt is that there had been a major AI breakthrough shortly before the board vote," I scream through a megaphone. "The technology had become capable of making even bustier waifus."

I tell ya, I’m tired of this world, these people. I’m tired of getting no respect

Advertisements for creepy little anime phone games with promises of “the goopiest game on the app store!” and feet everywhere are up +44% year over year! It all happens on X!

ELON PLAN A: “If you pay $8, people are forced to see your racist replies first.” ELON PLAN B: “Since normal humans keep blocking people who pay $8, you may now hide your check when posting racist replies.” ELON PLAN C: “Nobody can be blocked unless they say where my plane is”

welcome to bluesky! here are some ground rules we all follow: * no joke-y death threats. you have to follow through * you can sell prescription pills to one another but only on "whacked out wednesday" * if you're a lawyer you have to start every post regardless of subject with "as a lawyer,"