Post

Like the Belarus dictator.. it's an arrestable offence for media to photograph or film him from behind because he's balding.

Are we sure this is satire?

Just another stupid Trump bitch. Trump has his arm up her ass moving her mouth.

😂

Is it still legal to post images of Trump's stick-on hair flaps blowing off? 😂

Damn dudes. Doing an amazing job of getting in front of news before it happens! If this isn't an 'inb4' moment, I don't know what is.

Please can you take more care with your stories. They are no longer satire, just prescient.

So much for the first amendment

Doing my part by posting pre-hair plugs Muskrat.

Wouldn’t even shock me, at this point.

This. Tesla stock is a bubble, and Musk's "genius" is overstated.

I had to look up and see who was posting this because honestly these days….

oh good

Lol, perfect.

Does she mean this one. Wouldn’t want to make a mistake.

BEFORE SURGICAL PROCEDURES

we live in a time that "real" news articles and onion articles cannot be distinguished on the first glance

Satire and real news are now allied

Its only a matter oof time. 🤣

"You could hear the stillness in the hair, it was all quiet on the western front" does that circumvent the law?

i cant tell anymore what is an onion article

Let me see how many I can find...

Lots of teeth work also. The master race genetics failed.

Drugs'll do that for you

So you're an expert on boar hog's nuts? LOL

So the DOJ is just making laws on it’s own now. Don’t make fun of Musk or you will be jailed. Crazy times.

The gothy, vampy, just wants a little respect Elon. Waving around a chainsaw, desperately repeating his flat jokes so we’ll finally get it—and get him—trying to make ‘Dark MAGA’ a thing. (That little war cry he uttered was hella kewt, not gonna lie.) lokiexcelsiorsmith.substack.com/p/paper-tige...

Fuck me, what will the sentence be when the Incontinent Orange Head's ear hairs drop out and the hairspray for his combe over finally fails? Will he have an Orange scalp or sickly white? When 2 tossers cry because their bald.....🤣

😭😭😭

Is it me or are the worry lines beginning to show on Pammy's face?

😅😅 Gold ⭐ for you today.

I can see why he might not like it just makes this even funnier

😂😂😂😂

Evil Barbie does it again

Domestic “hair-orism?”

More for the rich Less for the poor Watch my billions Soar and soar

It's hard to be The Onion when I have to check if every story about the administration is real or not.

So far I’m seeing anywhere between two weeks and a month.

And the First Amendment to the Constitution? It's true that she must be completely ignorant of what the Constitution is.

Ugh that is just not appetizing. 😣

B-3 Maaaaybe..

The Onion headlines are blurring with reality more and more

LMAO!

Give it a week

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

They are such vain fragile little babies.

Then it’s a Spartacus moment. ( where everyone literally everyone posts the same photo)

I took far too long to see The Onion and realize that this is satire. Your job is getting really difficult.

I don’t know what is real or satire anymore

Yeah - these days things that the Onion says as satire become true the next month. So, I'm assuming this will actually happen unless Trump gets rid of Elon first.

hey.. just got super secret info on that idiotic WH speaker.. she is a TRANS-lady..! what a scoop eh?

His true form! 😆

Straight to Guantanamo Bay you go!

archive.is/SEyBh

An act of terror

Don’t give the Clearly Unfit Nazi Traitor any ideas!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 🖕🏻skank

What a bunch of whiners! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Another moment where I almost got fooled by the Onion for a headline a little too realistic

🤣🤣🤣

But photos normalizing nazi herr plugs are acceptable. bsky.app/profile/theo...

Like the preverbal frog in the boiling pot, at some point @theonion.com may become real news and not even realize it

I guess this is just satire?

Ever wonder where he picked his new chin design? 🤭

😂

how difficult is it for you to make obviously satirical headlines right now?

gender affirming hair

Is it terrible that I had to check to make sure that this was an onion post?

This sounds real.

hairplug boy!!!!!!!!!!!

Not in Australia

This can’t be true

I have several satire pieces that would be perfect for you. I'd rather give them to you rather than start my own satire news. However you don't take submissions so how do I get to write for you?

We all know both Trump and Musk are bald no matter what they wear on their heads!

Found it

STOP! Wasn’t there a movie like this? Somebody writes it and it happens? Step away from the damned keyboard!

Oh onion. How you weakly bait me into believing we have incrementally gone more insane.

Drama Queen Bondi screeches about everything so much she's become that irritating mother-in-law everyone just ignores.

😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 😹

Stop posting actual news

Oh, that IS funny. How long before they proclaim the same for posting unretouched photos of FOTUS, showing him as he really is (overweight, pounds of makeup on his face; balding, spitting like a 3-year-old having a meltdown ...)

In two weeks this isn’t a joke anymore.

Okay, Onion, we gotta talk. Just because you have a crystal ball doesn't give you permission to plagiarize headlines from the future.

I'd have to agree... So I support its continuation.

What about the rave Pic in his sheer black top? Is that terroristical?

took me a sec to notice it was the onion. given the current insanity, i was thinking, yep, it figures.

31 mins to delete 3 separate postings of baldyboy on X

FFS!!! What a shit show!!!!

There goes free speech!!!

STOP IT! You're just giving these morons ideas! 😉

Really

Do you mean this chap? ALT Text.

I tried that at home for years. Nobody took any notice of course.

What an UGLY WEIRDO!!! DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA DUMP TESLA

What happens to modern philosopher Azalea Banks for posting about his botched dick job?

I didn't see the name and I thought this was serious for a second.

"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country." - Nathan Hale

We are probably going there because when Musk cries the DOJ threatens.

We're going straight to "super protected class". The wealthy may not be discriminated against, and they must receive extra special deference in all matters, including compulsory recognition of whatever title they select for themselves. Musk's will be Dark Lord Elon. Genuflecting will remain optional

Are we sure this one isn't real?

January 6th remember Looks like terrorism to me