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Donald Trump and Elon Musk are absolute PROOF that wealth can’t buy self confidence, self respect, self esteem, self awareness, common sense, intellectual curiosity,business acumen NOR a shred of decency.MOST OF ALL, IT CLEARLY DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS as those 2 are obviously miserable f@cks.

He’d gain more respect by using that 97$Billion to build training and businesses for Americans.

I'd take the 97 billion... I wouldn't respect him. But I'd take it. Pay off loans. Set aside 10 million for myself and pump the rest out to the public who needs it. Live off the interest rate and go to sleep with a clean conscious.

It would take a LOT more than that. Like… he could solve world hunger, homelessness, end all disease, and I might think he’s not a complete shit stained asshat.

Bullets are only a few dollars

Is that per capita? Because I could respect that...

lol, I was always taught you have to earn respect, no one ever told me I could buy it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d9G...

Mega Dork....king of Dorks.

Ah Onion, we can dream he has any introspection. If he donates all $300 billion to humanitarian and environmental projects and zips off to Mars, I’d still hate him, but a fraction less.

America needs a wealth tax to stop individuals becoming too powerful. Individual wealth should be limited so that it is impossible for them to donate to political causes at a ridiculous level. Donations above a certain level should carry a prison sentence.

And to think he could have had it for FREE had he just done something good with his money.

Oops sorry, not enough 🥸

One thing that money can't buy. Not for him, not for anyone.

Soon enough, he's going to be shoving billions up his

Still not enough.

"Well, since you didn't ask, my biggest fear is this: After Trumpism collapses and I have shown that control over SpaceX and StarLink and US military dependency on me makes me a security risk, the US Government will nationalize these assets." 😳 i.guim.co.uk/img/media/37...

Respect will never happen.

It's just that, before, he was silent

What's the saying? People go hungry not because they can't be fed, but because Elon Musk can't be satisfied

My thoughts exactly. If he would spend that money on actually helping people instead of hurting people then he'd get more respect.

Not available from me at any price.

RESPECT is earned not bought! 🥴🤷‍♀️🤨👍🏻💙👍🏻💙👍🏻💙

not enough money in the world

Musk so craves adoration. But the loudest applause will be when he leaves government. “I know, it sounds truly crazy. And true, the vision's hazy. But I swear, someday there'll be A celebration throughout Oz. That's all to do.. with me…” - Elphaba in Wicked

I absolutely love The Onion. Amazing how many folks are sending serious replies. Sad when Satire doesn't standout from reality clearly. It IS believable that Mushmouth would try to buy respect. He's clearly never earned it.

🥴 Respect for Musk? 🥴 After all?

never gonna happen

😂😂Never gonna happen.

“You can pay for school but can’t buy class”

I’ll just leave this here:

He's going to pass his final hours as a bitter unloved man.

He could give that money directly to me and I still wouldn’t respect him. He’s the worst kind of entitled person.

Gonna need more cash than that.

Results from Wisconsin suggest that price will be much steeper than that...

Anyone who has to ask for or demands respect does not deserve it.

Hard pass

It can’t be bought! You have to earn it, buddy.

lowball offer. we're talking premium dipshit here. at least $150B or he stays annoying

🤣🤣🤣🤣All his money and he can't buy respect.

$5 million and I'll compliment his hair plugs. Final offer.

I wasn't aware that the Onion did real headlines. We live in strange times.

🤣

Nothing compared to how much it would cost him to have a friend.

As he found out in Wisconsin, some things can not be bought.

The man doesn't have enough money to make me respect him let alone not want to spit directly into his eyes.

Won’t be enough.

Sit down!

If he's looking, my respect can be purchased for a far more modest sum! Say... 300 million. Let's make a deal!

😅

Just a lil bit…. Just a lil bit

too late...!?

If someone legitimately respects Musk in 2025 they’re a lost cause, and probably also think the earth is flat.

Not enough.

If he comes over to my house and hands me a giant, Publisher’s Clearinghouse-sized check for $97 million, I could probably respect him. I could at least come up with a concept of a plan to respect him.

muskrat will always come up short

Well said

This un-American. I don’t think so.

Ain't gonna work. No sir.

Still not enough

Wiener is a German word that means a citizen of Wien, the capitol of Austria. We just call it Vienna.

Yep

How much would he pay to acquire "Being One of the Cool Kids" I wonder....

History's biggest goober gonna have to spend more than that

The cost is every last penny

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d9G...

Agree with a post below. He can’t buy respect. Only the slavish drones drinking from his fountain of $ will let him think he has. Yet if he had ever thought to use his wealth for the public good … for the suffering masses. The respect would flow down on him like rain. He is the king of fools.

Not for sale.

An Englishman criticized the French for fighting for money, while the English fought for honor. The French privateer Surcouf replied, "Everyone fights for what they don't have".

Alas, that creep can't buy respect.

I’ll do it for $96 billion, as long as I just have to pretend to respect him and maybe kiss his ring. If I have to kiss more than that my response would be, “you first”.

You can't over pay for something you so under value.

Respect has respectfully declined his bid.

The derision is free.

Respect for what, though? Like... normally, respect happens automatically when people appreciate the things you do. I know "earning" things is a weird concept to billionaires, but it's how us commoners do things. They ought to try it sometime.

He doesn't have ENOUGH money.

Good luck with that, Elon.

There's literally no amount of money he can spend that's going to do that at this point.

too late

#Weirdo

You're gonna need the extended warranty too, Shelon.

#Botha #apartheid

The Onion is on fire with these.

Honestly he'd have to go full ascetic to gain mine.

And double that amount for a little dignity

Hahaha! you'll love this. Same page.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d9G...

He could triple that and still be stuck in the toilet. You are what you are, and once exposed as a fool there's no going back.... ever hear of the staying Lipstick on a pig?

It would take more money than there is in the known universe and then some

Too low

Hear me out, someone on Twitter needs to get in his ear about being the guy who brings high speed passenger rail to the US. He could turn this around! Be a hero! He could put his name on it! It would be fast and efficient! Historical! Think of the jobs and profits! He could sell train stocks!

That's not going to be enough.

Cant buy respect, can't buy Wisconsin

And why should you be respected when you're taking money from Stop-and-Frisk billionaire Bloomberg?

Tell ya what Elon. If you give me 97 Billion I will give you a show of respect of your choosing. There will be conditions of course, but if you are in just go on national TV and say: “Steve I’m in.” PS Yes I know it’s an Onion article, but I get the feeling Elon reads these. :)

I will make a single pro-Musk post, that's totally not deeply sarcastic, for $100,000. A real value.

Some things can only be earned.

he can't afford it

bsky.app/profile/moth...

www.sacurrent.com/news/state-r...

There are some things you just can't buy, Elon, and respect is one of them.

That's likely how he gets his dates and wives.

Hell I’d kick in a couple of bucks. Seems fruitless though.

He is gonna be prosecuted in WI for bribery. And tonight's SC winner will cast the deciding vote to convict him.

can we start calling him the Fishmouth Vizier

Dunno about respect, but I'll shake his hand, tell him he's a nice fellow, wish him a good day and walk away with the loot for only $100,000.99 (Limited time only; void where prohibited).

Nowhere near enough.

Hhehhe, signal

He thinks he's Aretha Franklin now to be demanding a little respect?

Wait…this is not satire.

Apparently thinks you can buy respect. Can't be done.

It's totally going to cost him WAY more than that.

So true

Creep

It 's not enough, now go away Elon. you stank!

Two step process for Musk to acquire respect (and make money as well). 1. Sell Twitter(X) 2. Step back from politics and stick to making cars. AKA "f@#k off and keep quiet"

It’ll never happen.

…doubt Aretha’s family will sell it to him….

You can't buy respect, and you buy class! 2 things muskRAT is sorely lacking!