Dane Bernardo

both of my emotions watching the toddler twirl spaghetti with a fork for the first time

@cjzero.bsky.social just now, 30:15 or so on the clock in the Barça Getafe game, the announcer with a hilarious recap of the failed clearance

“No Way To Prevent This,” Says Only Ballpark Where This Regularly Happens

TONY STARK WAS ABLE TO BUILD THIS IN A CAVE, WITH A BUNCH OF SCRAPS

you people need to show more respect for the political machinery that lost to donald trump twice

Just experienced the movie Weapons in real life walking around my neighborhood. (A bunch of kids came running down the street acting weird.)

I’m the President btw

Guy with visible stink lines: the birth rate,

creed "my sacrifice" voice Ron Karkovice

/to the tune of "Glory Days" Tampa Rays Andy Sonnanstine, Tampa Rays Jason Hammel, David Price Tampa Rays

[papa roach, “last resort”] shai gilgeous-alexander chet holmgren, luguentz dort

/Ramones voice 20, 20, 24 hours to go-o-o Erubiel Durazo

@edsbs.bsky.social Warhammer mentioned on… TOP CHEF?

It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for

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9/11 was a mutagenic event leveling up the most potent class of fucking losers this country has ever seen

As soon as like eight of them said their favorite song about America was courtesy of the red white and blue I knew we weren’t winning shit

You guys are laughing. Paul Skenes almost was in the Air Force, and you're laughing.

An overconfident Team USA getting embarrassed by a much smaller country in front of a global audience is their last and most beautiful tribute to the American military yet

Pretending like you are going to war instead of a baseball tournament and then losing at baseball is super funny

Very disrespectful of the Venezuelan players to look happy after a big play. You’re supposed to look pissed off

oscar isaac reminds me of karl rove

Absolutely pulverizing the “OH BROTHER” button

A Top Chef team settling on the world’s worst concept for Restaurant Wars:

Bari Weiss has fired the Animaniacs due to a lack of political balance

Suprematism, by Nikolai Suetin, 1920-21, 📸 by @tiltoncreative

"I say we invest that money back in the Board of Peace!"

so what happens to all the collected tariff money?

When I get just a little too warm under the covers:

POV you are about to lose at Guess Who

Jason Myers hoisting the MVP and running this iconic quote back but with the exact opposite tone.

The set design for this is awesome

Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.

It’s very sweet and cute that he not only planed to have lil kids there and then rolls so well with the lil kids being lil kids but I have to know whose idea the lil podium was

All the stars are here: Brantley Gilbert, Brice Bradley, Gabby Babby, Bibb Glibsy, Slab Gabbert, Brice Bryce,

Greg Bovino sadly filling one steamer trunk after another with elaborate fashy overcoats, the teargas canisters he always has bouncing around on him like labubus, and dozens of "chest-belts." They will be shipped ahead of him as he prepares to return to his home, which is a men's size 10 boot.

A dad on patrol this morning is showing off his new egregiously expensive ice-fishing boots that he justified “because I’m standing out here all the time.” Dudes are going to continue rocking until morale improves

A competent opposition political party would cut together the footage of what ICE had been doing in the twin cities with Mike Johnson saying "ICE is doing what ICE is designed to do" and have it in ads all across the country

You should watch this right the hell now

One of the best to ever do it