Jesse Clark

Dr. August Dvorak: “If I could rearrange the keyboard, I would keep U and I together 😘”

A. Gerald enjoys museums B. Scott enjoys museums C. Gerald loves antiquing D. Scott loves antiquing E. Gerald fits Scott F. Scott Fitzgerald

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Corndogs

(bragging about the size of my parents’ kitchen) We had TWO junk drawers.

I’m Thinking of Ending Things for Tax Purposes

4:04 sleep not found

seeing hacker news posts about margaret hamilton (rip), and forgive me, but i this is how it feels

Math teacher: You won't always have a calculator when you're an adult Gym teacher: You must build crab soccer skills now for use in adulthood

It was called the Dada art movement. Maybe you've absurd of it?

You joined "grand vizier chat (secret)" You: dark rumors from aboard You: abroad* fuck Sssnakecharmer: mf said aboard WhispersintheChapel: ahoy matey lol PonderMyOrb changed the group name to "rumors from aboard"

In 1978, a mother had a baby girl. She looked down at this child and said, "I will name her Alison. And one day, when she has her own babies, they shall call her BRUH"

What's the Venn Diagram of Ratatouille fans and Neon Genesis Evangelion fans? #ratatouille #neongenesisevangelion #evangelion #nge

they think i came out of the porta potty rubbing my hands together cause i used the hand sanitizer but the fools don’t realize its because i just devised my master plan

Classics professor Emily Wilson has published a 15,000 word review tearing Nintendo a new hole for including a jump button in Ocarina of Time. "I am going to kill you in real life," she threatens over forty times.

i must not fear The Project

My designs for interplanetary spaceships based on the symbol of their destination: Mars ♂, Mercury ☿, Venus ♀, the sun ☉

How to visit an art museum with someone who isn't used to visiting art museums:

www.whompcomic.com/comic/second...

we talk about single use plastics and stuff but not single use computer work-products, and if you dumped a lot of energy into something bad and then put that into a storefront/recommender you're polluting my stream with plastic trash if you're not actually going to keep working on it

Richard Scarry’s The City on the Edge of Forever

make a band bigger Uncountable Crows

This is probably the most honest portrayal of what it’s like to be me I will ever draw.

The difference between marmite and vegemite? The vegemite hangs from the 𝘵𝘰𝘱 of the cave.

to horses, they are just normal radishes

kid: I got a C on my test roman mom: a perfect score!

Mordor, She Wrote

Some sprints you’re the bug tracker, some sprints you’re the bug.

Today marks a very special day in science fiction literature. May I present to you, "There Will Come Soft Rains" by Ray Bradbury:

[realizing how fucked up my life is as i eat a mcgriddle with cheese on it] 🎶 and i said, “what about, breakfast epiphanies” 🎶

“I want the last apple!” “No, I want the last apple!” Me (knows the Banach-Tarski paradox): “Kids, you can BOTH have the entire last apple”

Our Age of Bronze is collapsing, Liz Lemon

ME: I had to fix dad's computer after the power surge. HER: Motherboard? ME: No, she was watching TV.

[leaving the room that has the fan that rotates side to side] see ya later, oscillator 😭

"Just a whisper. I hear it in my ghost."