Tingy ('tin-jee') Simoes

The fall in immigration is mutilating Healey’s Budget iandunt.substack.com/p/the-fall-i...

sometimes I miss not knowing things

my retirement plan is to return myself to the bog

Went all in for my last photo shoot... #flashdance

Don’t go, summer! I’m sorry I said those things I said when it was hot.

Even if you've only done the Macarena once, you're still a carrier

[Thom Yorke from Radiohead in a diner] I’ll have today’s special ˢᵒ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵉⁿ ˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡ

Be sure to come to my book signing! Today, I'll be signing "It", by Stephen King. Next week, I'll be signing the owner's manual to my 2006 Honda.

Pope Leo XIV has been gifted a massive green orb and honestly not now massive green orb

Food FACT: The crispbread Ryvita is just a nickname. Its correct name is actually Ryva Perón.

I do think “every rich person went insane during covid because it was the first time they’ve been inconvenienced in decades” felt a little reductive at first but damn if isn’t more and more compelling as the years drag on

chatFIJIPT

me, walking into the British museum

Breaking News: the algae has agreed to accept $300 billion to consider vacating the reflecting pool

Well, that was a fucking ride.

RIP Mark Rothko. You would have loved how the hydrogen peroxide bleach is only turning the Reflecting Pool blue around the perimeter

“Tomorrow is another day” used to be something people said to encourage each other but now it just kinda feels like a threat.

It's now 2044, the first class of children born on the Kennedy Center scaffolding is graduating High school on the Scaffolding. The Live stream continues. #KennedyCenter

Nigel Farage Listens to the News

My fitness app is so needy. "It's not too late to get some movement now!" sir it's nearly 9pm we both know it's not going to happen

Touching grass is not enough I need to share a sunny log with five or six turtles

This essay explains everything that is going on in the USA, with abundant citations. They Want Us Dead www.welcometohellworld.com/they-want-us...

After recent events, I no longer identify as dishwasher safe.

I feel like the photographer could have gotten a little closer tbh

We all have that one friend who vanishes into the mist…only to return with a bone saw and a vat of acid, insisting you have to help “break down the body” otherwise you can be charged with accessory. Right? We all have that one friend? It—it’s not just me, right?

You come to me, on the day of my son's wedding, which I am not attending

I’m down to 1 percent on my phone battery but my god I’ve never felt more ali

You guys ever just accidentally space out for 5 to 10 years

Lasagna is basically spaghetti flavored cake

I hereby renounce my adulthood and demand my mom come pick me up

me in the supermarket with my mom when i was little

I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN

me, buying a book written by someone who I've never met but we sometimes like each other's posts on Bluesky: my friend wrote this

Anyway Starmer can’t resign as we’ve got too many podcasters already

Yikes

wandering the Sonora desert in a carefree fashion like

Well, well, well. If it isn’t that pet we buried in that sematary, and he’s definitely looked better.

what if you could push a button and cheese just appeared and then you could eat the cheese

The replies to this have ended me 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽