Post

Gonna need a bigger bag for this

...aight man just make sure you're here 10 minutes before open, the bluehairs do not like to be kept waiting

I eagerly await his "proud to announce I have been asked to procure the coffee for this morning's meeting in conference room 1-A" post

Jesus fucking christ.

It’s got Dwight Shrute “Assistant to the Manager” energy

I'll allow it if he follows up with a "The lights were brighter than expected" announcement after he gets fired

Proud to announce I have been promoted to Assistant Manager at Jack’s Penis Pumps!

Everybody hates this dude.

soo young. kind of a sad culture to make fun of kids and spread it online

Karens, start your liveblogs!

...why? What a fucking weird thing to say over such a harmless post.

bro I think the vibe was more "look at this dorky corporate teacher's pet" and not "let's Minority Report-style accuse this person of future crimes they haven't even committed"

Apple fell close to the tree

He had nowhere to go but up.

Oh sweetie...

Surprised that guy hasn't been appointed to a Deputy Cabinet position

Isn’t that two rungs above custodian?

He has the look of someone who had his lunch money stolen from him.

definitely made with AI which makes it even funnier

Is that a real post?

One weird history point is that Sonny Bono was a promo man in LA at about this time. (The Stones met him and he's mentioned in Keith's[? not sure which Stone] book.

I’d never considered the existence of Resting LinkedIn Face, but here it is.

Es viejoven.

Good lord. This looks like the announcements that top college football and basketball players post when they announce for the draft. And even those are marginally cringe, but at least they are in a very small, elite group. I don’t even have words for this.

Yikes dude lmao LinkedIn makes people cringe

alright hermano the bank aint reading all that they dont give a shit just make the money and go home like the rest of us

theincontinentals.bandcamp.com/track/assist...

How to guarantee its the very last promotion ever…. 🤣

It’s the quote at the bottom left that really elevates the whole thing

I worked with a guy like this. He came with the iPhone accessory.

He better not fuck up or he’ll be relegated next year 😂

😬

I don't know why you blacked out his name. He clearly wanted people to know about this.

"24th draft of minor league and proud bc its the biggest success he'll ever have" looking ass post

LinkedIn was *never* anything but self-marketing... 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤡🫏🖕💩🖕💩 Anyone finds this development surprising simply not paying attention to usage of current "marketing tools". Pfft. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤡🫏

Is his name Vinnie? Lmk

The internet never fails to amuse.

How much you wanna bet he had ChatGPT put that image together?

Saving for the firing update post.

I feel bad this dude's getting bullied like this. Blew up on r/linkedinlunatics too. It's a little cringy but it's a young dude proud of what he's accomplished. He's not hurting anyone, putting anyone else down, or selling you anything. Let him have this.

i agree so much bot-tan

YES, I'M AWARE. COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED TO A BETTER GUY. MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN FOR UNRELATED REASONS.

I don't think LinkedIn needs humans anymore. It can remain a fully automated corporate nightmare.

What, no Bank of America lapel pin? Friggin' slacker.

this guy rules lmfao

This guy Fucks 🤣

Don’t know (or care) who this little twat is but this just reeks of Some kind of nepotism.

The fuck?

I have to admit the suit is on point though. He should search LinkedIn for modeling gigs. This degree of drip is wasted at a crummy BofA branch

Listen, if this is what I think it is, which is satire that is dripping with contempt: WOULD

Can’t spell ‘America’ without ‘me’

Is that a typo? ;)

wowwwww

Oh. Oh honey no. Like good for you, but this is too much.

JFC

Let's see Paul Allen's card

Could this guy look like more of a douche in his photo?

The Decision

The wildest part is that this doesn't look AI generated

this is cropped, the original image I saw includes a co-worker telling them to take this down because Compliance will come down on them. known BOA, it's likely what's happening right now

(That's Not a knock on janitors, BTW. It's a knock on so-called "vice presidents")

LinkedIn has fully entered its cringe singularity @rvbdrm.com era. Every post is a humblebrag disguised as a life lesson now. Honestly part of why we built Wally to find real conversations on Reddit and X instead, way more genuine signal buried in those threads.

And to think, last year he was a supervisor at Chick-fil-A

Yikes, but then again one must toot ones own horn! TGIR!

Ask AI, because it “writes” about 99% of LinkedIn posts now.

Cringe incel shit

It’s what the site’s for. Dude worked hard. Got a promotion. Proud of himself. All positivity in the text.

Assistant Manager or Assistant to the Manager?

Come on, this has to be a shitpost. Please please tell me this is a shitpost

bro saw lebron photoshopped into a sixers jersey and wished that was him fr

The abysmally nonsensical metaphor was definitely a flag that he had a bad brain

"I really like his energy" she said

I'm willing to bet someone there will forward a screenshot to legal and he won't be there for too long

*Assistant to the Assistant Manager

Such slop is almost hard to achieve with an iota of self-awareness.

"If I can't be a banker, I don't wanna live!" but then Kramer lost the plot... www.youtube.com/shorts/we6E1...

He’s young, but he emits powerful stepdad energy

Impressive

No way this guy's a tool now that he got his "promotion"...

This might be the most pathetically sycophantic thing I've ever seen and I once watched a Trump cabinet meeting while waiting for a sandwich

Is this peak capitalism?

Assistant *to* the manager

linked in is actually still a going concern?

Congratulations ████████████!

That's from The Onion, right?

This is a header for a LinkedIn blog I could not bring myself to read.

This is like 90% of bank assistant managers in Los Angeles. Can we get rid of banks yet and let USPS handle our money needs? Half of the reasons I need to visit a bank involves shipping shit anyway.

Well this wasn’t very smart of the man

I’m blown away by the smug condescension in all the comments I could stomach scrolling through. Come on man, it is a young dude who is starting on a relatively low rung and is celebrating some success. Is that something to mock?

$10K or Brunch? Choose wisely.

I got canned when I had the wrong answer to the assistant regional manager's spittle-soaked question: "Are You Ready to be Part of the Winning Team?????"

I have a hard time criticizing someone who takea pride in their cosplay.

same energy:

I mean if AI generated gender reveals help stop injury and wildfires from people detonating literal explosives...maybe there's a positive here.

Assistant manager? Of a branch? I had that job the summer after I graduated high school. 🤣 US corporations are so ridiculous.

we just say "manager."

I had to do it to em vibes

Oh A.I. come take this guy's job!

I really need to up my game

This is very funny for a lot of reasons. But what are those font choices?

Massively shitty bank, that.

Strongly considering using AI exclusively for LinkedIn posting because authentic humanity is not valued there

Looks and sounds like a Homo avitisque with creepy Betty Boop lips. No idea whether this is real or not; but if not it's a very focused invention: you might almost say art.