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thought this was Jim Anchower at first

I want a running series about gay frogs.

being wielded by a literal pig man

Needs more flag.

He’s our pigman!

Hurrah!

Give Peter Rosenthal a movie show!

[astronaut + gun meme] Always has been

This is a wild return from Onion history. I am living for not only bringing this actor back, but giving him this narrative turn into right wing grifter. Bravo.

Finally, a newscaster I can trust

False flag.

I always knew Today Now! was just more MSM slop serving the elites

This is gonna be good for so many laughs. I hope there's a Lewis Black segment.

HOW THO WE ALL SAW PORKIN ACROSS AMERICA

You can think for yourself. But only we can show you how.

Finally, someone with courage.

Whew! It's a good thing it was Jim! For a second, I thought it was one of them pig-freaks.

We love a cute cat 😤

THEY UNPORKED JIM HAGGERTY

Bring her back cowards

Oh shit.

bring back Trace Gill and Rachel Cole and Brook Alvarez www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1vB...

Jim!!!

Oh shit, soon Clifford Banes is gonna come back from the grocery store to host the goddamn show

RINO and false Christian. Jim Haggerty de-pigified himself because he converted to Islam. Don't be fooled.

Please also bring back Joad Cressbeckler! I loved all of his episodes

We need Michael falk doing a segment on trains and helicopters

Prop design in this movie was incredible.

John Leguizamo gave the best performance that was never nominated for anything since Val Kilmer in Tombstone.

My bad!

Yes! Yes! Love the porking across the USA callback

I think "The Cressbeckler Stance" would fit well on InfoWars.

Yall should clean up the disgusting info wars website... broken down cars in the waist high grass, load bearing towers of used pizza boxes, and I believe the previous owner left an upper decker 😲

All these decades later, my mom and I still call it Accounts Reeceevin’ 🤣

It was fun but I absolutely understand why he was retired.

Now bring Gregory Dawson back!

FUCK YEAH!

Go, Onion!

Also how did they rervese Jim's hog transformation? What nutricuticles and Chinese peptides did y'all use?

Yes! The only journalist willing to join the Taliban to get the scoop!

Porkin' Across America is my Roman Empire

This is very pronk!

Holy shiiiiiiit. Where my onion video news heads at???

I hope the rehabilitation and reconstructive surgery was successful.

Never stopped Alex Jones

Witchcraft. You have been lied to!

He got deoinked

Woooooot

seems extremely appropriate for someone who has had a majority of their body replaced with pig parts and undergone an entire mental obliteration

I'm a huuuuge salt fan

Seems like there have been some major recent advances in de-pigging.

Wow.

It’s a Poe’s Law world!

me too, spiders freak me out

Bring back porkin across America

Perfect fit for straight satire reporting, if he’s still… as self righteously colorful. And hilariously dead pan only to the degree necessary to be as good as Colbert did it for so many years. I bet the majority of eyes ever to see Report to this day still don’t know. How do you replicate that?

let's pork!

I fucking knew I was being lied to

Is Clifford Banes going to return?

FUCK YES!!!! HAGGERTY NATION!!!

My daughter is pregnant with my first grandchild. Otherwise, this Infowars takeover would be what I'm most excited about right now.

Jim Haggerty might be the only man that can live up the example we need in these dark times. Thank you for returning to save us all!

Freedooooooooom! Congratulations Jim! Finally the truth that literally nobody else can see or comprehend will come to the surface.

Hell yeah

That’s how deep the ragebait goes.

The herbicide Atrazine feminizes male frogs and makes them infertile. Unaffected male frogs also then try to breed with the feminized frogs instead of actual female frogs, worsening fertility impact. Atrazine is banned in several countries, including the entire EU, but is still widely used in the US

InfoWars is the reverse Twitter if you think about it.

Using a dodecahedron for the logo of global tetrahedron is gonna give me an aneurysm

I am excited about InfoWars being taken over by the Onion. I too would like to believe absolutely moronic conspiracy theories are plausible. I would also like to buy crappy supplements and male enhancement pills that don't work. I know you will make my dreams come true. Show me a future of stupid.

When will the infowars(dot)com domain be usurped?

Pleas share. bsky.app/profile/pixe...

for the first five seconds i forgot this was a fake guy

Jim Haggerty! Tell me you're going to do a "Today Now!" reunion, please! *Holds cash at the ready*

thank you Jim!

I feel like this is way too close to their actual trailers

I’m Pig Haggerty?

band*

glad he's feeling better

To quote GWBush in a slightly different circumstance: "That was some weird shit."

HE'S BACK I'M SO HAPPY

hmmm…and yet no tinfoil hat to block out the bozo rays

@kartoonistkelly.bsky.social deserves a regular slot.

There's absolutely no way they haven't already at least skimmed episodes of the pod

Welcome back, you dropped this 👑.