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It’s not wonderful for the turkey, which is only giant because it’s been genetically modified and overfed for its short and traumatic life. The tradition could be just as wonderful and hilarious without the exploitation and death. Plenty of other things to cook!

This happened to a friend of mine once. Her 3 siblings and I had been sitting around for hours before we realized we didn’t smell turkey roasting. TBF only one of us was 20 years old yet… she cried a while and then we went out for Chinese!

The inlaws have a legendary meal where the turkey was cooked in the microwave because they couldn't figure out why the oven wasn't turned on.

That happened to my family at Xmas one year. My SIL forgot to take the turkey out of the freezer. I’d sent them a smoked brisket from Texas. So that’s what they had.

That's not how that phrasing works 😭

I have taken to calling it “the stressbird.”

I thank God that I have as family of excellent cooks who know how to NOT fuck up the turkey

Thanks a lot.

Wonderful, hilarious and originally stressful way to create memories

Oh god, I’ve never thought about it that way before. I’m snort laughing because it’s so true!

The worst is that in recent years what we can get here in Norway is getting more and more marinated with spices that don’t fit my palette so one of my favorite foods is now none edible

Foolproof every time.

I dont get why its such a mystery to most people My turkey slaps

How about just eating the trimmings and let these soulful birds be.

The first Thanksgiving I did on my own (with help from my boyfriend at the time). Clogged the food disposal with potato peels and cooked the bird upside down. No crispy skin, but also - it wasn’t dry.

Or burn the house down!

I recently learned to do this for the apple pie

I bet those help calls to Butterball are hilarious.

Hilarious until the deep fryers come out.🏃‍♂️🔥 Jk that’s pretty funny too.

turkey noodle soup is good tho.

Christmas is a prime rib, tartiflette, and a veggie.

I'm 42 and REFUSE to fist a bird. Nope, nada, fuxk off...

I think I do a pretty good job

One time 8 mistook 11 kilos for 11 pounds! We ate around 1:00 am! My Newfie guests never let me live that down!

Especially since generally speaking, turkey isn't a great meal.

Mock the oven gods at your peril! Ever leave leftover delivery pizza in the cardboard box in the oven for weeks and then preheat the oven?! It ain't pretty!

Unless you're also hosting for, like, Christmas, it's probably the only time you're serving an indoor meal to this many people at once. (Growing up, Thanksgiving was turkey by tradition, but Christmas was turkey by practicality.)

But I can cook one that’s so good.

One of the major reasons why I've never made one...

I stole the bird's breasts and introduced them to duxelle crepes and puff pastry.

I’m good at it,….. and the Yule prime rib,…. I got this.

You win!

And women are overworked and pissed off.

Do people still fry turkeys? I feel like that's one of those little tricks Darwin left for posterity, to help speed up natural selection.

Funny so funny !!!!!

It’s never great the first time, but by the 25th attempt it becomes mostly edible. Mostly.

Last year I said fuck it and just got a turkey breast. Way easier and we really don't need all that turkey.

So true…plus it is a bird that most people don’t eat regularly because, frankly, smaller birds are more tender, tasty!

Frying should be a requirement

LOL! Yup, & why do we keep up the tradition of a big turkey for Thxgiving? In most kitchens, its carcass yields the largest leftover portions that we can’t figure out what to do with.😳

True story.

so many people who rarely shop and definitely don’t cook regularly, with that worried/pinched/frahtic/confused face, looking for unfamiliar ingredients, and always in the background a worry about high temperature vs low temperature, and having no real idea why or what to do.

Today, I give thanks for chefs who hosted on tv over the years and cooking magazines to give me inspiration - I have worked on my recipes year-over-year to improve and enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Turkey is hard even if you know what you're doing. No two birds are alike, then there's ovens.

Brining is key.

Turkey is really pretty easy. People are easily intimidated by the size, but if you can roast a chicken or a potato you can roast a turkey.

💀

OMG I still remember people calling the grocery store I used to work at asking how to cook a turkey or if I just bought my turkey today( on Thanksgiving) how long will it take to defrost so I can coom it. Luckily as the web has expanded we could just reply with " Google it."

Cranberry sauce and pies tonight. Turkey & all the sides tomorrow! 💙🦃🥧

Fire department on speed dial

Especially when they think turkey fryers can be used in the kitchen. 🔥😲🤯

Yesterday,s first bird went well!

That's the best plan on how to spend a peaceful Thanksgiving dinner with loved ones. Enjoy!

I'm doing a pork loin in the slow cooker

Hahaha then you add an additional concept of a giant deep fryer!

But...it's easier to cook that giant bird and have it come out tasty than it is to cook a lot of other things. Cooking a turkey is easy. Cooking a prime rib, or even fried chicken without getting it overdone, underdone, burnt somewhere...is harder.

This sounds like an amazing documentary or game show waiting to happen lol

LOL!!

Our national cooking show.

I love a turduckin, it’s a great way to sneak duck into the turkey holiday

Rotisserie chicken 🏆

I butchered ours yesterday and made stock last night. Tired of dry turkey so I'm giving this method a go this year. Also ribs 🤣

If we don't cull the large birds, the large birds will cull us.

Remove the giblet pack !!!

Frying a turkey will burn down houses and garages tomorrow, and this type of arrogance is draining to watch, but so inherently American.

As I alluded to in a post of my own, the Brits make the mistake of combining "cook a giant bird and don't fuck it up" day with CHRISTMAS. That is an unforced error, yo. We set aside whole other day to be ruined by that shit, and we're wise to do so.

Ah, but the sides….

frantically re-googling “how make turkey taste not bad” 30 minutes before game time

I'm not a fan of thanksgiving or even necessarily turkey, but what it Does mean is lots of discount meat the day after because grocery stores inevitably overbuy em and nobody is going to want to cook another for at least a year after that

My favorite the tradition of shoving bread up a turkey's ass.

Incurious mob

its too late to brine the turkey, fellas

You wanna talk about cooking disasters . . . 🤣

😂🤣

The best was being a supermarket cashier in HS and college and watching people buy 20 lb., fully frozen turkeys the night before Thanksgiving. Like, you're eating that Saturday, right? Or should I just send the health department over tomorrow afternoon?

This is the way, juicy thighs and breast portions that aren't dried out that will make killer sandwiches next day. Especially if you make cranberry mustarda to have on those sandwiches.

that's the thing though - a turkey is one of the easiest things there is to cook. You just brine/season/whatever and stick it into the oven for a few hours.

My mother loved turkey and used to cook one at least once a month. Guest always raved about how good her turkey was at Thanksgiving. I never really liked turkey and I feel like I’ve had my lifetime allotment so I never eat it.

Brilliant 🤣

And the easiest way to do it is a massive fire hazard that can kill you and others when you turn a frozen bird into a rocket

2) Placing it directly between voting season and inauguration 3) Gathering the entire family of different age groups and political backgrounds Literally the perfect storm for arguments, comedy gold.

I'm cooking a ham.

Amateur gourmet chef tyvm 😉

Haha, 🤣 I never thought of it like that, but totally true! Sandwiches 364, elaborate meal with sides and giant poultry, zero fails expected. Plus a crowd watching.

Do you know the only food that can be traced back to the first Thanksgiving?

Getting them split down the middle helps both thawing and cooking. That said, we're having ham.

I mean it's not hilarious for the bird...

I learned more from my mistakes on my first Thanksgiving dinner!

"And so, on the fourth Thursday in November, American families sit down at a large table brimming with tasty dishes and, for the only time during the year, eat better than the French do." -- Art Buckwald's column, with humorous annotations: theboldsoul.lisataylorhuff.com/the_bold_sou...

It's... Not all that difficult? It's just a roast. If you look at a recipe it will tell you how to time it and avoid drying out the meat. Everything else is just waiting.

One of the best meals I’ve ever had was in a little NJ diner where they had spanakopita on a special. The Greek owner’s mom made them and each one came in its own little ramekin. To die for! Never had one as tasty and I’ve tried so many since.

One of the busiest days fire department as well and take-away after the bird is burnt and all

Spatchcook the bugger-it'll cook evenly. Slather the thing, brine it first, whatever but spatchcook it. If you get that wrong, tough shit lol.

I’ve had the fortune of having to cook thanksgiving dinners since I was 16 in creative foods class in high school. I cooked for the staff for 2 years (was brought back by popular demand second time) and at home ever since. My secret? I have no idea.

Love how you put this. Bravo.

This 25 lb. bird scares me, and I’m an adventurous cook. I have to take it to a friend’s house for cooking since it won’t fit in my oven.

Just say no!

Yeah, we're dumb as fuxk but somehow superior to the rest of the world🤣

[ignoring an internet full of evidence as to how it could go wrong] what could possibly go wrong

Sounds delicious 😋 I've always wanted to have a Beef Wellington or Goose for Christmas, but the family don't want to move away from the traditional turkey.

Goose is uncommon in the US. No real coherent American tradition at Christmas: turkey (again! boring!), roast beef is fairly common, seafood. Anything goes. Maybe the Thanksgiving turkey killed the Christmas one.

Thanks Marie Calendar

Remember the whole deep fry thing?

Nothing like a yearly nationwide gamble on undercooked poultry to bring us together for tradition

I want one of these, the octopus looks like it would be delicious and I hate turkey!

& tomorrow they try to kill each other for an even bigger TV.

A percentage burn their house down trying to fry it

I buy turkey breasts from Costco each year. It's crazy...most turkey products aren't available except "Thanksgiving". Anyway, those breasts are much better in my opinion....several pack better than whole turkeys in the freezer. I inject them & people say they are the best ever. I can have 1 a month!

I’ve never had a dry turkey. I slather it in mayo and herbs it is hilarious to watch though